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12-30-2008, 12:27 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston, TX
980 posts, read 889,673 times
Reputation: 556
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Dysfunctional Communication
My husband (of many years) has informed me that we have had a a totally dysfunctional communincation history for our entire marriage. He is basically trying to re-write history and say that nothing we experienced was what it appeared to be. He also wants to somehow create an entirely new method of communication but frankly I have no idea how that is done. What do any of you think are important precepts of communication and how do I talk to him without making any assumptions based on our history? (Crazy question isn't it? But I am thinking he has gone off the deep end.)
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12-30-2008, 12:29 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
1,054 posts, read 482,036 times
Reputation: 395
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You are being entirely vague. First you need to explain WHAT made your husband said that you two have a totally disfunc. comm. history.
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12-30-2008, 12:29 PM
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Stranger than fiction
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the state of denial
5,422 posts, read 1,997,335 times
Reputation: 1968
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Ask him to put it in writing so you don't get it wrong.
History is a huge part of how we interact with people. I'm not sure how you communicate without historical assumptions.
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12-30-2008, 12:39 PM
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Free at last! Free at last!
Status:
"free at last! free at last!"
(set 3 days ago)
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
3,913 posts, read 1,907,201 times
Reputation: 2398
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Quote:
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My husband (of many years) has informed me that we have had a a totally dysfunctional communincation history for our entire marriage. He is basically trying to re-write history and say that nothing we experienced was what it appeared to be. He also wants to somehow create an entirely new method of communication but frankly I have no idea how that is done. What do any of you think are important precepts of communication and how do I talk to him without making any assumptions based on our history? (Crazy question isn't it? But I am thinking he has gone off the deep end.)
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I dont really understand what your husband is getting at. For me honesty and openness are precepts for communication, but given what you've said about him I would say grunts and pointing might work. |
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12-30-2008, 12:40 PM
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Ballroom Diva
Status:
"Ho Ho Ho!"
(set 1 day ago)
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Join Date: Aug 2006
11,497 posts, read 6,845,762 times
Reputation: 7671
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Um ....... What?  |
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12-30-2008, 12:45 PM
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Lucky and blessed :)
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: wherever my husband is working
18,181 posts, read 12,455,649 times
Reputation: 5890
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redrover
My husband (of many years) has informed me that we have had a a totally dysfunctional communincation history for our entire marriage. He is basically trying to re-write history and say that nothing we experienced was what it appeared to be. He also wants to somehow create an entirely new method of communication but frankly I have no idea how that is done. What do any of you think are important precepts of communication and how do I talk to him without making any assumptions based on our history? (Crazy question isn't it? But I am thinking he has gone off the deep end.)
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Hate to say this, but is he setting you up right now to be able to tell you shortly that he's leaving you for someone else? |
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12-30-2008, 01:33 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
18,378 posts, read 8,591,953 times
Reputation: 3270
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active listening lol?? Try that.
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12-30-2008, 01:39 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: syracuse ny
1,532 posts, read 721,352 times
Reputation: 777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redrover
My husband (of many years) has informed me that we have had a a totally dysfunctional communincation history for our entire marriage. He is basically trying to re-write history and say that nothing we experienced was what it appeared to be. He also wants to somehow create an entirely new method of communication but frankly I have no idea how that is done. What do any of you think are important precepts of communication and how do I talk to him without making any assumptions based on our history? (Crazy question isn't it? But I am thinking he has gone off the deep end.)
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my appologies, you have to be a member to read the whole article which goes on to examine your historic relationships, how to eliminate all bad history, and so on and so on..
Methinks our boy has been reading too much!  |
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12-30-2008, 01:40 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Triangle, VA
5,153 posts, read 2,580,289 times
Reputation: 2626
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What is he? A shrink?
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12-30-2008, 01:44 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
18,378 posts, read 8,591,953 times
Reputation: 3270
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Have you ever heard of reading a book on communication?
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