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So I've spent the majority of my lifetime catering to my maternal g'ma and begging for her approval and attention. I have constantly expressed a desire to have a close relationship. I have made big efforts not to bring any shame or reproach to the family (my mother has done the complete op). But regardless I have remained one of the least favorite grandchildren.
So finally I tell my mother through a letter my feelings about her (my mom's and g'ma's) bad actions over the years around and towards the whole family and she forwards it to g'ma. And for the first time in my life I simply take the attitude of, "I couldn't care less."
What does it get me? I figured in deeper poo-poo than ever before-right? Heck no, she is now calling, writing, e-mailing, etc. In fact she just called and I behaved in my recently acquired "I couldn't care less" attitude and she responded the way I'd hoped for my whole life.
Go figure!
So it seems there is a lesson here. Am I to take away from this that treating people like s--t is what they want? Good grief. But, truth be known, the process of caring less for folks in general has begun. An obvious cumulative effect of years of taking it up the ying yang. Or is it as simple as a little reverse psychology?
Anyone else had similar experiences they'd like to share?
Last edited by Truly Heartless; 12-31-2008 at 06:00 PM..
Sometimes...I think the people that you feel the most close too, seem to take you for granted that you will always cater to them, be there for them, and they show zero appreciation for it....UNTIL, you point it out.
They don`t realize how to show appreciation, and to stop and say,"Thank you."
I work with the elderly, and I know that its hard for some of them tell me,"Thank you, or I appreciate what you do." I know that they do, thats why I don`t expect it.
Instead of you taking on the attitude of, I don`t care... maybe you should pick up the phone, and call her. I`m sure that since she knows how you feel, she feels terrible now. Keep the communication open, especially to the elderly people.
She was confronted on how you really feel, (even if it was through a letter). Call her, or go see her.
G'ma is treating you better because she just learned you felt slighted by her, not because you're treating her like s--t. Now would be a good time for a heart-to-heart talk with her; show her the love.
G'ma is treating you better because she just learned you felt slighted by her, not because you're treating her like s--t. Now would be a good time for a heart-to-heart talk with her; show her the love.
Exactly. You should have let her know your feelings a long time ago.
G'ma is treating you better because she just learned you felt slighted by her, not because you're treating her like s--t. Now would be a good time for a heart-to-heart talk with her; show her the love.
So I've spent the majority of my lifetime catering to my maternal g'ma and begging for her approval and attention. I have constantly expressed a desire to have a close relationship. I have made big efforts not to bring any shame or reproach to the family (my mother has done the complete op). But regardless I have remained one of the least favorite grandchildren.
So finally I tell my mother through a letter my feelings about her (my mom's and g'ma's) bad actions over the years around and towards the whole family and she forwards it to g'ma. And for the first time in my life I simply take the attitude of, "I couldn't care less."
What does it get me? I figured in deeper poo-poo than ever before-right? Heck no, she is now calling, writing, e-mailing, etc. In fact she just called and I behaved in my recently acquired "I couldn't care less" attitude and she responded the way I'd hoped for my whole life.
Go figure!
So it seems there is a lesson here. Am I to take away from this that treating people like s--t is what they want? Good grief. But, truth be known, the process of caring less for folks in general has begun. An obvious cumulative effect of years of taking it up the ying yang. Or is it as simple as a little reverse psychology?
Anyone else had similar experiences they'd like to share?
People don't value things that are easy to come by. You essentially played hard to get with your grandma. In the future don't be as available if you don't want to fall back into the negative patterns.
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