Should I go or should I stay? (man, loving, single)

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1

I have got to figure out something I really do. I can't keep going on like this. My daughter told me I should get back to my normal size take interest in myself so I'd feel better about me and i would quit taking this kind of treatment. That if I boosted my confidence in myself that it would help to boost me out of here. My kids want me to leave but I"m so scared of being on my own again. That worries me too.

I am a firm believer that in most cases, weight, self control, better health and better attitiude are signs of living a good life...if you think you will be happier without him, I would be very surprised if your extra weight does not leave when you do...

I hope you are alright...most of us are here for you, as much as we can be through a computer Every day is a new start!

[CountryLuvinWoman1]

You know I worried about coming here and talking to everyone. I tried once before about a month ago and chickened out because I hate to air my dirty laundry. It embarrasses me to think I'm allowing someone to do this to me. But I have no one else to turn to that can give me unbiased advice so I swallowed my pride and came here and I"m so glad I did. You all have been so helpful and I do need advice and I do need support because I am at my lowest point and it does help to have someone pick me up even if it is through a computer.
I have spent the last two days just cleaning and thinking off and on trying to gather my thoughts. I did try to talk to him again last night and tell him once more how i felt. It did no good. He woke me up in the middle of the night having sex with me and I let him because I didn't want to fight. But when I told him today how I felt he said he was giving me what I wanted. he knew I didn't want that but it's not about what I want I have discovered that.

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1

You know I worried about coming here and talking to everyone. I tried once before about a month ago and chickened out because I hate to air my dirty laundry. It embarrasses me to think I'm allowing someone to do this to me. But I have no one else to turn to that can give me unbiased advice so I swallowed my pride and came here and I"m so glad I did. You all have been so helpful and I do need advice and I do need support because I am at my lowest point and it does help to have someone pick me up even if it is through a computer.
I have spent the last two days just cleaning and thinking off and on trying to gather my thoughts. I did try to talk to him again last night and tell him once more how i felt. It did no good. He woke me up in the middle of the night having sex with me and I let him because I didn't want to fight. But when I told him today how I felt he said he was giving me what I wanted. he knew I didn't want that but it's not about what I want I have discovered that.

The last paragraph concerns me...have you talked to an attorney yet?? Or a therapist?? He did something very wrong and he knows it...I hope you are ok. We are all here and if you do not want to post openly you can DM...

[tasmtairy]

Lots of good advice here. I agree with most of it. Take care of yourself, you will be surprised how strong you are. Take care Countryluvin...

[Tanker]

Hang in there CLW1, we're pulling for you. Take care of your kids and yourself. Lots of Love to you.

[sassyone]

Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1

No i'm not singing to ya. I'm just bout at my wits end. I'm trying so hard to make this work. We have a child between us and I have children from a previous. I'm just thinking that if I live to be a really old lady can I survive another 50 to 60 years of this. It makes me think i don't want to live to be an old lady if I have to deal with this and I plan on living to be a 105 so for the love of pete what should I do? He is one of those men that has no sense of humor..in 7 years i've probably heard him laugh maybe 10 times..he beeches non stop and I'm not sure how much more I can take. I just sit there and try so hard to just ignore the fact that he's going off on me but dangit if it isn't hard. He's a good dad to our child but does nothing with mine. I know mine aren't babies anymore..one is grown and the other two are almost there 17 and 16 but you know would it hurt to maybe conversate with them outside of giving out the weekly chores? I left yesterday to go to walmart and a couple other places. I was gone 3 hours..he was fit to be tied. I haven't went anywhere without him in 2 or 3 months..After that I had to run my nieces home..he was mad about that nad gritched..So something just snapped in me and I just felt nothing..I didn't say anything to him. I just felt nothing. I have felt nothing towards him all day today. I don't know what to make of it. But I've just had enough. I'm trying so hard to stay til our youngest is grown but I'm just not so sure i'm gonna make it. Sorry so long. oh and Happy New Year to everyone. I hope everyone is having a good time.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It sometimes happens that men who are controlling have beaten you so much that you do not have
any self worth left. Do not let him do this to you, he has NO RIGHT to do this to you. There are many wonderful men out there that would make your life happy, but you have to convince yourself that you are worth it.
Do what makes you happy and in the long end, your children will be happy too

[Hawk J]

Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1

You know I worried about coming here and talking to everyone. I tried once before about a month ago and chickened out because I hate to air my dirty laundry. It embarrasses me to think I'm allowing someone to do this to me. But I have no one else to turn to that can give me unbiased advice so I swallowed my pride and came here and I"m so glad I did. You all have been so helpful and I do need advice and I do need support because I am at my lowest point and it does help to have someone pick me up even if it is through a computer.
I have spent the last two days just cleaning and thinking off and on trying to gather my thoughts. I did try to talk to him again last night and tell him once more how i felt. It did no good. He woke me up in the middle of the night having sex with me and I let him because I didn't want to fight. But when I told him today how I felt he said he was giving me what I wanted. he knew I didn't want that but it's not about what I want I have discovered that.

You & your beloved children are beautiful. Noone deserves what you are going through.


God Bless You & Watch Over You All...............Take Care


If you feel your in danger i would leave now

[aurorawatcher]

CountryLuvinWoman1,
You need to see someone about counseling. He is not going to change. And as long as you stay you will continue to get deeper in your depressed thoughts. You left him once and you should have never gone back. Take your children and leave and make a good life for them and yourself.
I wish the best in 2009 for you and your children.

[thriftylefty]

You can never really get away from a guy like that , You and him should work on his insecurities first, or you'll never make a clean break

[CountryLuvinWoman1]

I got upset tonight and left and went to my dad's. I don't like to bother him with my problems but I had no place else to go. I just needed to get away for a couple of hours. I was too upset to stay here. It helped me clear my head some. My dad didn't really say anything but it helped having a good cry and getting away. I really appreciate everyone's help. I know what I need to do. Now I just need to figure out how to do it.
Thank you all so much.