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I'm with CPG and Tanker on this one. They are YOUR family, not his and if you can't stick up for yourself around them, then don't hang around with them. It is not your husbands place to defend you to your own family. Now if it was his family picking on you and he said nothing, that would be different.
I am learning slowly but surely, to tell people when they do or say things to hurt me. If some friendships or family relations suffer then so be it. I am not here to be a doormat to rude cruel tactless people.
You need a dose of self confidence and you will have to find that for yourself.
On the ride home after Christmas my husband was so angry. He just could not believe how rude my sisters and parents were to me every time I tried to bring up a topic of conversation. He told me that he wanted to speak up and defend me but was afraid that would be out of bounds and would only make matters worse.
I am very ill at ease with all of them and my self confidence is not what it should be so I am not going to speak up when they are mean to me. My husband on the other hand is very outspoken and self confident and can speak for himself.
What would you think if your husband or wife spoke up when you were being treated poorly at a family event?
Your husband should speak up for you if his family is being mean to you. YOU should speak up if your family is being mean to him or to you. It's not the job of the spouse to correct their inlaws.
It is your family. I think you need to stand up for yourself and wonderful that he will be behind you on it.
Were it HIS family, then he would stand up for you.
Not comfortable standing up for yourself but he commands respect? Role play. Let him teach you. Let him give you the boost you need. I actually know how you feel.
My sister is this way with me and I really don't do anything about it. I would just rather leave it be and not start trouble. My SO on the other hand gets fuming mad when I am treated that way.
I have learned how to stick up for myself and let me tell you, it came as a huge shock to them when it happened and they sure did back off since then.
Do something for yourself to make YOU feel better. Things will get better and one day you will command that same respect.
I agree with most of the other posters. It's YOUR family, and having your husband stand up to them for you does you no good. You must do that for yourself.
On the ride home after Christmas my husband was so angry. He just could not believe how rude my sisters and parents were to me every time I tried to bring up a topic of conversation. He told me that he wanted to speak up and defend me but was afraid that would be out of bounds and would only make matters worse.
I am very ill at ease with all of them and my self confidence is not what it should be so I am not going to speak up when they are mean to me. My husband on the other hand is very outspoken and self confident and can speak for himself.
What would you think if your husband or wife spoke up when you were being treated poorly at a family event?
Why turn Christmas into a big argument, I think that's what it would end up being if your husband speaks up, why not just find better things to do with your time?
It sure doesn't sound like you're having much fun or having a good time when you visit your family, so I'd write them off and let them entertain each other as they please but for yourself and husband, there are happier ways to spend your holidays.
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