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My ex and I get along pretty well too. He is the dad and has every right. We are nothing more than friends and both of us have moved on in life, funny thing is, we both drive truck, lol. And we're both musicians. And we discuss areas we've seen in driving through or to. And we know truckers lingo, ha. Accept it or move on.
My ex and I have been divorced for over 20 years and we have always had that kind of relationship. Just because we couldn't make it as man and wife, does not mean either of us is a bad person. We make far better friends than we did man and wife and our friendship has lasted a lot longer than our marriage.
WHY does there have to be a big fight to end a marriage and fights that continue for years? This is NOT healthy for the children involved and a BIG waste of time.
Everybody WINS in this kind of situation! There was no custody battle but a open door policy instead. The kids could sleep at my house or his and they knew we were constantly talking to each other so it worked great for everyone involved. He can come by anytime and have coffee and I love him as a good friend.
We are 20+ years divorced and our kids are now all grown and I am here to tell you, IT DOES work and anybody who thinks it is wrong or crazy are not putting their kids needs & well being above their own. Our kids never have to worry about inviting us BOTH to graduations, weddings, Christmas dinners or just a plain old b-b-q's. We always sit together and talk, talk, talk!
My ex husband and I have been divorced for 4 years. We have 2 children together and he is actively involved. Here's how I see it. I have to be in contact with the guy- I can either hate on him or make the best of the situation. Either way he isn't falling off the planet anytime soon.
This week he had the kids all week and extended an invitation for me to have lunch with him, his girlfriend, and the kids so that I would get a chance to see them. I accepted. It was actually a nice time. I got to know his girlfriend-and heck, I even like her.I figure we are all on the same team trying to raise 2 productive citizens. I have a home with my SO and am engaged and obviously the ex has moved on, but when we exchange kids-they are always welcome 2 come in and visit and they feel like wise. I can now appreciate his good qualities since his bad ones aren't my problem.
I mentioned this to my co workers-who are also divorced parents and they feel this is not healthy behavior and think that it is a sign of not moving on. They believe that my fiance and I have our own lives, our own friends (which we do)and that my ex should remain in the past and that I should only have minimal child centered conversation with him.
I disagree- they say this-but these 2 women probably spend 6 hours a workday bashing their ex husbands. Its exhausting just listening 2 it! Talk about moving on.... Anyways, my ??- do any of you have this sort of relationship with an ex spouse-and do people look at you like you are some sort of alien??
I think that is wonderful, your teaching your kids a wonderful thing
My ex-husband will talk to me only if his girlfriend is not around.
She isnt a nice person, she hasnt said anything to me , she knows better not too. She doesnt like mine and my ex's kids
Thats where I dont get my ex, Why he stays with a woman who hates his kids, our boys are 17 and 15,
But I get along with my ex-inlaws to this day I call them my inlaws.
My two younger girls have a wonderful dad, different dad,
If he ever needed help I'd be there in a heartbeat, only because he takes good care of my girls,
When people bash their kids other parent it makes me think "YOU CHOSE HIM"
I believe the world needs more parents like yous out there..
Your arrangements with your ex are none of your coworkers' business. Now that you know what harpies they are, in the future, I would not share so much of my personal life with them.
Should they approach you or bring it up in another conversation, I'd just say, "Interesting," and change the subject.
You have a perfectly healthy arrangement with your ex. Your coworkers, however, need to get lives.
My parents are divorced and having grown up (well, middle school and beyond) in an up and down household. I can say that whatever you can do to make your children feel comfortable, loved and generally have fun, you are doing the right thing. Especially if they are "of age" to understand your divorce and the situation. If they're very young, maybe not a good idea yet!
Im with a girl like that and it is hard on me. I try but her ex and I do not see eye to eye. They have one kid together he is 2. I want kids but because of her ex she don't want no more she feels it will only hurt their son and her ex. But where does that leave me I want a family of my own. I'm 23, i have my own business painting we just about have our house payed off and have a small farm.
we fight all the time because she don't want to hurt her ex by having a kid with someone else and any man with balls that is with a woman that has a kid with some one else and they talk all the time and want to be friends will put a stop to it. And I have tried to myself but I do not want to lost what I worked all my life for yeah I'm 23 but I came from a family that is ****.
What I'm saying is its hard for the man your with to overcome me I had to or lost everything
My ex husband and I have been divorced for 4 years. We have 2 children together and he is actively involved. Here's how I see it. I have to be in contact with the guy- I can either hate on him or make the best of the situation. Either way he isn't falling off the planet anytime soon.
This week he had the kids all week and extended an invitation for me to have lunch with him, his girlfriend, and the kids so that I would get a chance to see them. I accepted. It was actually a nice time. I got to know his girlfriend-and heck, I even like her.I figure we are all on the same team trying to raise 2 productive citizens. I have a home with my SO and am engaged and obviously the ex has moved on, but when we exchange kids-they are always welcome 2 come in and visit and they feel like wise. I can now appreciate his good qualities since his bad ones aren't my problem.
I mentioned this to my co workers-who are also divorced parents and they feel this is not healthy behavior and think that it is a sign of not moving on. They believe that my fiance and I have our own lives, our own friends (which we do)and that my ex should remain in the past and that I should only have minimal child centered conversation with him.
I disagree- they say this-but these 2 women probably spend 6 hours a workday bashing their ex husbands. Its exhausting just listening 2 it! Talk about moving on.... Anyways, my ??- do any of you have this sort of relationship with an ex spouse-and do people look at you like you are some sort of alien??
I think it's great! There is nothing wrong with it. It takes emotional maturity and intelligence to be able to have this kind of relationship with an ex. Sadly, not many have those qualities. Your co-workers may or may not have reason to bash their exes, but they certainly seem to be miserable enough to want the same yuck for you.
Im with a girl like that and it is hard on me. I try but her ex and I do not see eye to eye. They have one kid together he is 2. I want kids but because of her ex she don't want no more she feels it will only hurt their son and her ex. But where does that leave me I want a family of my own. I'm 23, i have my own business painting we just about have our house payed off and have a small farm. we fight all the time because she don't want to hurt her ex by having a kid with someone else and any man with balls that is with a woman that has a kid with some one else and they talk all the time and want to be friends will put a stop to it. And I have tried to myself but I do not want to lost what I worked all my life for yeah I'm 23 but I came from a family that is ****.
What I'm saying is its hard for the man your with to overcome me I had to or lost everything
This sucks!!!
I've dated two single fathers and I have to say that baby mama drama has never been an issue.
However, this whole "she doesn't want to hurt her ex, we fight all the time" ordeal is too much for anybody to endure.
I think you should reevaluate your relationship and figure out what you are suppose to be doing next. Your emotional needs haven't been met, and eventually you will resent her, perhaps you already are resenting her.
You are only 23 and you are just starting your adult life. This is not politically correct for me to say, but If I were you, I wouldn't date a person with kids.
My ex husband and I have been divorced for 4 years. We have 2 children together and he is actively involved. Here's how I see it. I have to be in contact with the guy- I can either hate on him or make the best of the situation. Either way he isn't falling off the planet anytime soon.
This week he had the kids all week and extended an invitation for me to have lunch with him, his girlfriend, and the kids so that I would get a chance to see them. I accepted. It was actually a nice time. I got to know his girlfriend-and heck, I even like her.I figure we are all on the same team trying to raise 2 productive citizens. I have a home with my SO and am engaged and obviously the ex has moved on, but when we exchange kids-they are always welcome 2 come in and visit and they feel like wise. I can now appreciate his good qualities since his bad ones aren't my problem.
I mentioned this to my co workers-who are also divorced parents and they feel this is not healthy behavior and think that it is a sign of not moving on. They believe that my fiance and I have our own lives, our own friends (which we do)and that my ex should remain in the past and that I should only have minimal child centered conversation with him.
I disagree- they say this-but these 2 women probably spend 6 hours a workday bashing their ex husbands. Its exhausting just listening 2 it! Talk about moving on.... Anyways, my ??- do any of you have this sort of relationship with an ex spouse-and do people look at you like you are some sort of alien??
What you are doing is the best way to go about it. You got to know ur ex girl friend and you like her, so you know when kids are with them, they are in good hands. you get to go inside their house, so you get to observe surrounding and ensure it's always nice and safe for kids.
What you are doing is called "making the best out of situations". Marriage turned out bad, it doesn't mean you should be bitter the rest of your life.. i'm sure you learned lessons from it and you obviously have moved on. more power to you!
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i hate it
