Is this online dating stalking? (Latin, friend, relation, abusive)

[TX_AGGIE13]

It happens....I have friends, male, and female, who have had several "real" stalkers. They can be from the internet too, but I don't consider those who simply hastel, irritate, and bug the tar out of you stalkers. I've had my experience with two of them. The second one was a Hooter's girl from Jacksonville, FL. that I dated for a couple months. I noticed her becoming very clingy, and I was not at that point in the relationship. I figured it would be best to end it before things got worse, and so did. She started calling, telling me things about how she didn't want enyone to get "hurt" etc... She would unexpectedly show up at the door knocking, and I would have to be quiet and pretend as if I werent there. It was ok to avoid for a little while, then one day I came home from work, and she was on my 5th floor balcony. She had found my hidden key, and let herself in. She aproached me, and tried to seduce me sexually which I honestly almost went for just because im a guy, and that's a weakness. I luckily eventually had the courage to grab her by the arm, and physically guided her out the door. Luckily it ended there aside from a few more calls. I did see her at the grocherie store once a few months later, and freakin' fast walked around a few corners, and out the door...lol.

[dvcgal]

Originally Posted by TX_AGGIE13

It happens....I have friends, male, and female, who have had several "real" stalkers. They can be from the internet too, but I don't consider those who simply hastel, irritate, and bug the tar out of you stalkers. I've had my experience with two of them. The second one was a Hooter's girl from Jacksonville, FL. that I dated for a couple months. I noticed her becoming very clingy, and I was not at that point in the relationship. I figured it would be best to end it before things got worse, and so did. She started calling, telling me things about how she didn't want enyone to get "hurt" etc... She would unexpectedly show up at the door knocking, and I would have to be quiet and pretend as if I werent there. It was ok to avoid for a little while, then one day I came home from work, and she was on my 5th floor balcony. She had found my hidden key, and let herself in. She aproached me, and tried to seduce me sexually which I honestly almost went for just because im a guy, and that's a weakness. I luckily eventually had the courage to grab her by the arm, and physically guided her out the door. Luckily it ended there aside from a few more calls. I did see her at the grocherie store once a few months later, and freakin' fast walked around a few corners, and out the door...lol.

This is why guys should not date girls from Hookers, I mean Hooters!

[artsyguy]

Oh whatever.

Originally Posted by dvcgal

I know! He met her online!!! LOL!!! Just teasing, but seriously, this did happen to him!

[TX_AGGIE13]

Originally Posted by dvcgal

This is why guys should not date girls from Hookers, I mean Hooters!

Lol...hey, I totaly agree with you there. I made the mistake more than once, and paid each time. The crazy thing is that it's not a isolated mess with these girls. They are this way in just about every city. No offense if anyone in here works there, just the truth.

[dvcgal]

Originally Posted by TX_AGGIE13

Lol...hey, I totaly agree with you there. I made the mistake more than once, and paid each time. The crazy thing is that it's not a isolated mess with these girls. They are this way in just about every city. No offense if anyone in here works there, just the truth.

See, this is what I tell my hubby all the time!!! Those girls are nice to look at, some of them, but most of them are desperate......maybe this is why he likes hanging out there and pretending it's his birthday??

[CESpeed]

I'll repeat the question since no one has answered it. Would everyone feel better about labelling this guy as potentially dangerous if he tries to kill someone? Or does he actually have to succeed in killing someone?

There are varying degree of stalking. It took Rebecca Schaffer getting killed before anyone acknowledged that stalking even existed. They wrote off a guy's behavior as "persistent". Why does someone have to die or almost die before people think that someothing is dangerous? WHy not look at root behavior and realize there is a serious danger potential? Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry.

And artsy you wrote me about your experience and what did I tell you? That you were right get away from that person because of the potential danger.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'd rather be paranoid and alive than telling me story of narrowly escaping someone who was only persistent.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by dvcgal

maybe this is why he likes hanging out there and pretending it's his birthday??

Ha ha!! Hmmmm...now I wonder how many guys do that??

[TX_AGGIE13]

Originally Posted by dvcgal

See, this is what I tell my hubby all the time!!! Those girls are nice to look at, some of them, but most of them are desperate......maybe this is why he likes hanging out there and pretending it's his birthday??

Lol...maybe....

They are desperate, either for attention, sexual conquests (yes, like males, some of you women are just as bad, and you know you are.), or a big ole tip! Most of them have no problems with interacting with you either for a bigger tip. When I was dating one from Houston for a while we would hang out with the others at the resturant, and it's crazy how many of them had multiple bf's, and they would boast about all the crap those ignorant guys would buy them. Sad part is most of those guys were in their late 40's - 60's. Sounds like those guys had no problem, and would be ignorant not to know what those girls were about.....I guess good for them.

[movin'on]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

I'll repeat the question since no one has answered it. Would everyone feel better about labelling this guy as potentially dangerous if he tries to kill someone? Or does he actually have to succeed in killing someone?

There are varying degree of stalking. It took Rebecca Schaffer getting killed before anyone acknowledged that stalking even existed. They wrote off a guy's behavior as "persistent". Why does someone have to die or almost die before people think that someothing is dangerous? WHy not look at root behavior and realize there is a serious danger potential? Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry.

And artsy you wrote me about your experience and what did I tell you? That you were right get away from that person because of the potential danger.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'd rather be paranoid and alive than telling me story of narrowly escaping someone who was only persistent.

Someone in the thread earlier said "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger." Well, a few years ago someone else said that to me in a forum about someone else. I didn't listen. That guy does homeless outreach for a living (like a Saint, right?) He ended up being an abuser, so now when my instincts say "Danger," like they did here, I listen. I just checked it out in this thread.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

I'll repeat the question since no one has answered it. Would everyone feel better about labelling this guy as potentially dangerous if he tries to kill someone? Or does he actually have to succeed in killing someone?

There are varying degree of stalking. It took Rebecca Schaffer getting killed before anyone acknowledged that stalking even existed. They wrote off a guy's behavior as "persistent". Why does someone have to die or almost die before people think that someothing is dangerous? WHy not look at root behavior and realize there is a serious danger potential? Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry.

And artsy you wrote me about your experience and what did I tell you? That you were right get away from that person because of the potential danger.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'd rather be paranoid and alive than telling me story of narrowly escaping someone who was only persistent.

No. I see nothing "dangerous" about the situation, at all. A guy feels singled out and rejected and misled by a lady online. So, he emails her online...not her home email account mind you...a site account. She would never even know he had sent a message, if she had not logged on to the site, and gone to look up her messages, and read his. There is nothing whatsoever, at this point, to suggest that he is anything more than a slight pest. Nothing.