Is this online dating stalking? (psycho, definition, difference, stalker)

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

With somebody with a behavior science degree and specialty in criminal justice I find your accusations really paranoid and silly.

A stalker is a person who wants to be with YOU and ONLY YOU and thinks only about you. Sends you messages about only wanting to be with you and has already made plans to be with you Duh. It isn't some pesky jerk that keeps trying to ask you out. That is just an annoying pest. He or she probably annoys other people too.

This person has serious issues. She says no so he constantly calls and sends email? The only reason he isn't showing up at her door is because he doesn't know where she is. This type of person is dangerous. The next woman who rejects him might not be so lucky. So yes reporting his behavior will protect the women on the site who might get face-to-face with this guy.

If there was only ONE contact, I would blow it off. But several? He has rejection issues. And only God knows how deep those issues are.

[Tropical Trouble]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

This person has serious issues. She says no so he constantly calls and sends email? The only reason he isn't showing up at her door is because he doesn't know where she is. This type of person is dangerous. The next woman who rejects him might not be so lucky. So yes reporting his behavior will protect the women on the site who might get face-to-face with this guy.

If there was only ONE contact, I would blow it off. But several? He has rejection issues. And only God knows how deep those issues are.

Very true. If I say no to a guy online and he keeps writing to me, I will report him and I have done so. The most recent one was pretty darn creepy but probably just socially clueless. Still, why take a chance?

[artsyguy]

Uh I've told guys "no" before and they didn't get the hint. It was annoying and a bit stressful but after saying "no not interested" 4 or 5 times then I finally never heard from the guys.

Also some people think they are playing hard to get. Ever heard of that???

http://searchwarp.com/swa228593.htm

This person is not dangerous unless the person is making angry threats of violence or threats of suicide etc. Honey, I think you are projecting and are way paranoid. Maybe you are the one with rejection issues....

Originally Posted by CESpeed

This person has serious issues. She says no so he constantly calls and sends email? The only reason he isn't showing up at her door is because he doesn't know where she is. This type of person is dangerous. The next woman who rejects him might not be so lucky. So yes reporting his behavior will protect the women on the site who might get face-to-face with this guy.

If there was only ONE contact, I would blow it off. But several? He has rejection issues. And only God knows how deep those issues are.

[Twinkle Toes]

Oh yeah, I forgot about Lackland AFB!

Ya know ... they have THE BEST airshow I've ever seen! And yes, those AF guys were hot, hot hot!!!

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Uh I've told guys "no" before and they didn't get the hint. It was annoying and a bit stressful but after saying "no not interested" 4 or 5 times then I finally never heard from the guys.

Also some people think they are playing hard to get. Ever heard of that???

How To Play Hard To Get And Still Get Him Or Her To Fall In Love by Christine Akiteng Dating & Relationships Coach

This person is not dangerous unless the person is making angry threats of violence or threats of suicide etc. Honey, I think you are projecting and are way paranoid. Maybe you are the one with rejection issues....

Well I'm glad you are williing to take that chance. I'd rather err on the side of caution.

btw, if a man tells me he isn't interested, he NEVER hears from me again. This is the only appropriate response to "I'm sorry, I changed my mind. I'm no longer interested."

I suppose you would rather wait until the guy shows up at her door and she ends up the next Rebecca Schaffer.

[movin'on]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Uh I've told guys "no" before and they didn't get the hint. It was annoying and a bit stressful but after saying "no not interested" 4 or 5 times then I finally never heard from the guys.

Also some people think they are playing hard to get. Ever heard of that???

How To Play Hard To Get And Still Get Him Or Her To Fall In Love by Christine Akiteng Dating & Relationships Coach

This person is not dangerous unless the person is making angry threats of violence or threats of suicide etc. Honey, I think you are projecting and are way paranoid. Maybe you are the one with rejection issues....

I assume you are not a shrink, so tough to call. I think mine would say...stay away. In fact, I know he would.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

Wow! It seems the creepy emails (which I understand go unread and not even to the OP's private email account??? ) have turned an otherwise pleasant discussion into an all out war - the singles against the marrieds and moms! I'm not really sure I get the correlation, but in the world of looney bins ... well, I guess anything's possible.

I don't get it either. Not sure why the OP went there. I am one of the staunchest defenders of online dating...she could have checked my post history and figured that out.

But to imply that a guy sending emails...not even to her own account...that she has to log on to the site to even read - that he is a stalker??? Well, perhaps I am just more accustomed to the "complexities" of online dating.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

just an annoying pest.

That is exactly what he is. And there are plenty more of them out there.

[movin'on]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

I don't get it either. Not sure why the OP went there. I am one of the staunchest defenders of online dating...she could have checked my post history and figured that out.

But to imply that a guy sending emails...not even to her account...that she has to log on to the site to even read - that he is a stalker??? Well, perhaps I am just more accustomed to the "complexities" of online dating.

Don't flatter yourself. Why on earth would I take MY TIME to check out YOUR post history? Narcissistic much? I am a busy person. Complexities, my arse.

[artsyguy]

The emails/messages went to her online dating account.....but still stalking is when somebody wants to be with you and only you and can't live without you and never lets up. Big difference. What you described sounds like mild harassment and even then you have to have intent to harass. If he really wanted answers or was curious about you then that isn't harassment and it isn't stalking.

People flatter themselves too much these days and watch way too much CSI. Stop being paranoid.

Most people are NOT out to get you. Some people have a very rude attitude and lack online etiquette more than anything. Stop thinking every weird message is about you personally. Ugh. Some people are just WEIRD.

I met a guy off craigslist the other day and he was lacking in social etiquette and tact, and said some rude and cutting remarks in conjunction with wanting me to spend time with him and only him at his place. I stopped talking to him because I wasn't into that. End of story. I didn't go crazy thinking he was coming after me and obsessed with me. He just seemed like a loser with very little tact.

Who else agrees with me??

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

I don't get it either. Not sure why the OP went there. I am one of the staunchest defenders of online dating...she could have checked my post history and figured that out.

But to imply that a guy sending emails...not even to her account...that she has to log on to the site to even read - that he is a stalker??? Well, perhaps I am just more accustomed to the "complexities" of online dating.