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Why is it that whenever I go out on dates with females I'm absolutely, 100% compatible with they wind up "just wanting to be friends"? Yet, when I go out on dates with people whom I can't wait for the date to end due to lack of things to talk about and such, they wind up calling, and calling and calling. Is it because I show the girls that I'm compatible with slight interest??? Anyways....I've come to the conclusion that you married people are indeed lucky, and that the dating GAME this day and age for 20 somethings is nothing short of a nightmare!
Couple of possibilities....
One: You show "slight" interest. What is slight to you may be non-existent to them. They may be thinking you only want to be friends. I actually have this issue because I am shy and so men don't pick on my subtly. I'm trying to be more direct when I like someone romantically.
Two: The compatibility is in your head....the women may like you as a friend, but see qualities about you they would not like in a bf. The "slight interest" thing may indicate to them that you're not boyfriend material. The idea is to show interest without being needy; but the interest and thoughtfulness still needs to be there. I've had male friends I would've been interested in, but they blew it by being too coy and/or they displayed other qualities I could tolerate in a friend, but not in a partner.
Three: You find these women physically attractive, but they aren't physically attracted to you. If a woman likes a guy's personality, but there is no physical attraction, then she just wants to be friends. That or she doesn't like you at all and is using the "friend" thing to let you down easy (spineless, yes). Make it clear from the get-go what kind of relationship you are interested in. I had a guy tell me once that he "didn't want to be my friend", and I knew what he meant by that, and it was nice that we were clear & on the same page.
Its obvious. When you want to impress, you're nervous and unless you are a top 20 percentile, women will never give you a second chance. I've seen many comments on this site where women will say they know they never want to see the guy again after only a few minutes. They have this sixth sense about it, apparently. (Meanwhile other posts say men should give women at least 6 months!) Whatever you say, it will be interpreted negatively. When you are nervous, they are looking for any excuse to cut things off.
When you aren't interested, you are relaxed and this impresses a lot of women. If you are a top percentile type, you could even throw off insults and have them eating out of your hand. I doubt they are even listening, just soaking up the "vibes".
So, my advice is: next time you are with a women who doesn't interest you, get nervous fast. Sorry I can't help you with the first type. Have you considered cosmetic surgery? Winning the lottery is such a long shot.
Why is it that whenever I go out on dates with females I'm absolutely, 100% compatible with they wind up "just wanting to be friends"? Yet, when I go out on dates with people whom I can't wait for the date to end due to lack of things to talk about and such, they wind up calling, and calling and calling. Is it because I show the girls that I'm compatible with slight interest??? Anyways....I've come to the conclusion that you married people are indeed lucky, and that the dating GAME this day and age for 20 somethings is nothing short of a nightmare!
Dude. I can read this situation from a mile away.
You're obviously a good guy. A steady Eddie. The one who's there when the chips are down. The guy who makes an excellent friend and husband.
So what's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on. You're getting the pushback, the "Whoa, Buster," the stiff-arm. All because you're walking into every date as potential interview for a marriage or long-term relationship, rather than just an occasion to go out and have a good time.
Don't get me wrong. It's totally cool to see that as an end to the whole process. At the same time, 95% of the time, it's the woman who decides if she wants the relationship, not the man. Your job is to be engaging and not pushy. It's your job to be fun, not show that you're marriage material. If she gets serious about you, she'll want that information later. You're not trying to impress either.
So be laid back about everything. Date more than one woman. Don't walk into every first date saying to yourself, "Okay, is this the one?" Because that's a lot of pressure to put on a woman, whether you mean to or not.
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