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Almost every girl I've been with has been in an abusive relationship. I can't stress it enough, women love jerks. That is why I don't get into any serious relationships anymore. Women will say they want this or that but when push comes to shove they bang the jerks. Every guy out there, stop being the nice guy. It doesn't work. Being a jerk is what works!
So almost every woman you've been with has been in an abuse relationship? Ever bothered to check a while later with their associates to see if you made the jerk list?
I find a lot of women say that, then I meet the guy and his associates and find out he's alright. NOT ALL OF COURSE, ALL YOU FEMALES WHO DATED DAUHMERS WHO WILL NOW COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK WITH YOUR STORIES!
A very good friend of mine was in an abusive relationship for a couple of years. It got worse and worse as time went on. Her family and friends all offered to help her. It wasn't like she didn't have a place to run to and no kids were involved. She chose to be in that relationship. Oftentimes women who find themselves in this situation have deep seated issues and they end up repeatedly in similar situations. Not always the case but very common. I called a social worker to ask about how to get her help and the social worker said in clear terms "until she is ready to be done with it, there is nothing you can do to help her. She has to take the first step and call herself for help." They saw this as a common occurrence. Long story short, eventually she reached her breaking point where she had had enough and left. Yep, I was out there late one night packing her stuff into my car. She moved out of state and that's all she wrote.
To the OP, stay out of it. Leave the guy alone. It's none of your business. Be a friend to your girlfriend who probably just needs someone to lean on and a shoulder to cry on, and leave it at that.
well my bestfriend whom i deeply love has been through an abusive relationship(physical&abusive)that ended summer 08 which is when i found out, but i cant seem to get over it, shes always telling me about things he had done to her and i cant really understand why she clinged to him , it adds a little to the hate i feel for this guy. im really considering beating this dude into a pulp but she wants me to let it slide.i love this gal with all my heart and it really bothers me to let this guy go without an intense beating(at least) since he did after all put her through hell.has anyone else been in a situation like mine or hers? how should i deal with this?
I responded to this before, but I wanted to add another thought or two after reading the excellent post above. I've been married to a couple women who were sexually abused as children but had never recovered from the trauma, even decades later. They'd never talked about it to anyone. I felt very privileged that they trusted me enough to "come out of the closet" with the information.
Talking about it does the soul good and helps one get on the road to recovery. It's that way with all emotional/psychological traumas, be it losing a job, a life partner or anything else. Talking about it lets the pain out. I know how you feel about the jerk who abused your gf, but try to just let her talk it out. What she needs from you is security -- someone she can trust, lean on, hold, and talk to. What she least needs is someone to cause more problems with the ex. If you love her at all, keep that in mind.
I responded to this before, but I wanted to add another thought or two after reading the excellent post above. I've been married to a couple women who were sexually abused as children but had never recovered from the trauma, even decades later. They'd never talked about it to anyone. I felt very privileged that they trusted me enough to "come out of the closet" with the information.
Talking about it does the soul good and helps one get on the road to recovery. It's that way with all emotional/psychological traumas, be it losing a job, a life partner or anything else. Talking about it lets the pain out. I know how you feel about the jerk who abused your gf, but try to just let her talk it out. What she needs from you is security -- someone she can trust, lean on, hold, and talk to. What she least needs is someone to cause more problems with the ex. If you love her at all, keep that in mind.
Exactly right. Someday she may hear herself and get it together but if you push yourself into her situation. She'll cut you out. And relationships with friendships like yours will never work for her. I know. I ruined a good friendship by allowing my friend to get to close. Discovered that we had nothing in common except to talk about how crappy our significant others were.
I am a student at the University of Bolton completing my third year project under the supervision of Dr. Nadhim Al-Talib.The study is intended to investigate personality characteristics of men who have experienced any emotional/physical aggression from their female partners. I would appreciate your participation.It`s consists of responding to a confidential survey online at the following link:
www.theabusedmen.net
Thank you very much for your help.
If you would like more information on this project please, do not hesitate to contact by email or post;
I doubt its by choice. Sometimes a guy can come on as charming, tender, compassionate, but wait a couple years till they get you wrapped around their thumbs, then they change so suddenly. By then, some might have a kid from that person and be afraid to leave, or may not have anywhere to escape to. Most people in their right minds would nip it in the bud and run if a person right away came on as abusive, we know that.
That is also a common saying from "social workers". The typical one size fits all answer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYLATINQT
A very good friend of mine was in an abusive relationship for a couple of years. It got worse and worse as time went on. Her family and friends all offered to help her. It wasn't like she didn't have a place to run to and no kids were involved. She chose to be in that relationship. Oftentimes women who find themselves in this situation have deep seated issues and they end up repeatedly in similar situations. Not always the case but very common. I called a social worker to ask about how to get her help and the social worker said in clear terms "until she is ready to be done with it, there is nothing you can do to help her. She has to take the first step and call herself for help." They saw this as a common occurrence. Long story short, eventually she reached her breaking point where she had had enough and left. Yep, I was out there late one night packing her stuff into my car. She moved out of state and that's all she wrote.
To the OP, stay out of it. Leave the guy alone. It's none of your business. Be a friend to your girlfriend who probably just needs someone to lean on and a shoulder to cry on, and leave it at that.
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Abused Men
