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Old 01-14-2009, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,228 posts, read 25,270,863 times
Reputation: 12388

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Item #4 suggests she is from Hell. I think the OP is dating Satan incarnate!!!
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Old 01-14-2009, 03:48 PM
 
Location: North of LA
146 posts, read 244,810 times
Reputation: 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
At first I did not think she did… but now, after 6 dates, I think she does, and I also believe her issues are a major issue between us.

To the point that I think it’s time to stop seeing her.

“Sandra” and I have been seeing each other. It started out nicely, and I had that excitement that comes when you meet somebody new. She’s friendly, outgoing, and she is quite attractive (face and body).

But as time passed, a few things came up that have led me to believe there may not be potential.

1. On date 3, she said she had difficulties trusting men. She said that when she was younger, she had ‘circumstantial evidence’ that her boyfriend had cheated on her. She claimed to have overcome this, but she said she still gets suspicious when a man she’s dating says “I’ll call you later.” This episode, btw, happened when she was 24 and now she’s 33.

2. Our conversations don’t flow as well as they did at first. I’m an outgoing conversationalist and I try to accommodate others when I talk to them, but with her, sometimes I feel I’m grasping for a topic. Yes, there are moments silence is fine, but sometimes I just feel ‘stuck.’

3. She twice said something that turned me off, on our 2 last dates. She said she’s aware of how she’s attractive. She did mention how one of the local deli guys always flirts and writes “to my sexy Sandra” on her breakfast sandwiches in good fun. But the very gesture and comment she made were total turn-offs – she is from another country, so in English it was, “my self-confidence explodes to the sky,” and she made that finger-to-nose gesture, with her held cocking back and finger going up to show just how highly confident she is.

4. This is perhaps a quirk of mine… but, while Sandra is attractive, I’ve noticed that she has this “look” on her face that, frankly, makes me a bit uncomfortable. She looks cold and, frankly, bitchy… and on our last date I think I accidentally glanced at her with a serious face, which evoked a “retaliatory” look on her part that freaked me out. At that moment her eye looked plainly evil.

5. She won’t let me get close to her. Now, I’m not talking about sex after 3 dates. She made it clear from the start she isn’t looking for a fling, and neither am I. But the most she’ll let me touch her is a hug when I meet her and drop her off. When I “guide” her when we walk into a restaurant, and I gently put my hand on her back, she doesn’t mind. But after 6 dates, she won’t let me even hold her hands! And on our last date, we were stuck in traffic. I turned to her, and gently caressed her pretty hair. After a few seconds she said (with a smile) “don’t touch!” And when I dropped her off that evening, we hugged, and I planted a kiss on her cheek – and she didn’t like it. Did I already say this woman is 33?

I know myself and I know I can be nitpicky, so I tried to wait patiently over the past several weeks hoping Sandra would “warm up” to me and let whatever barrier or wall that she puts up go down. But apparently, I was wrong.

Now don’t misunderstand; we’ve had good conversations, she's got good qualities to her, and I have tried to juggle the roles of gentleman/strong encourager/friend.

But if after SIX dates she will not let me hold her hand, she doesn’t like me caressing her hair, and won’t let me kiss her face (I never even ONCE tried a real kiss), isn’t this a way to say, “Sprawling, I’m just not that into you?”

There a few more tidbits of info, but I'd like to know what you guys think.
after reading this i see 6 stop signs i think if you stay with this person as anyone can see she loves to play head games with you and she is trying to find out how far she can go with the games so i would say to you just say its not working out and runnnnnnnnn for the hills
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Old 01-14-2009, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,250 posts, read 6,639,591 times
Reputation: 5923
She does not appear to have 'issues,' but seems to be creating issues (manipulating) to keep you at arms-length until someone 'she feels' that is better will come along. Right now, it appears that you are just a social patsy for her to pass time with. For you own sanity and confidence, it's probably best to hightail out.
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Old 01-14-2009, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Chicago, Illinois
3,020 posts, read 5,920,808 times
Reputation: 1311
i think she's in it for the money! after 1 date if there isn't sexual chemistry or sexual tension, it is a NO go! heck, i like to kiss on the first date. if i don't get a decent kiss by date #3...wow, i don't know what to say. i think i'd have to go another direction.
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Old 01-14-2009, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Mayberry
25,994 posts, read 7,941,053 times
Reputation: 58826
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Item #4 suggests she is from Hell. I think the OP is dating Satan incarnate!!!

I agree with Twinkle on this one. If I wanted to hold onto a guys arm after 6 dates and he looked at me that way I would sleep with a .38 under my pillow. Find someone you can talk to for God's sake
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Old 01-14-2009, 04:11 PM
 
3,088 posts, read 5,826,526 times
Reputation: 1955
I would have stopped at date 1
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:12 PM
 
9 posts, read 10,399 times
Reputation: 13
She sounds really wounded and like she would be a lot of work. I'm with artsguy... talk to her about your needing to feel she is warming to you physically to know that there is more here than just platonic friendship. It sounds to me like either she really is just using you and doesn't really like you... or she is wounded worse than she is letting on. To not let you even touch her hair after 6 dates makes it clear something is seriously wrong.
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:17 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,884,300 times
Reputation: 7237
She sounds like she is disengaged from others and this is usually a sign of bigger issues...I would go to greener pastures!
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:18 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,099,942 times
Reputation: 6704
bigger issues like she has an extra cromosome or more like she needs help putting her sofa into a van ??

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
She sounds like she is disengaged from others and this is usually a sign of bigger issues...I would go to greener pastures!
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:20 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,884,300 times
Reputation: 7237
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
bigger issues like she has an extra cromosome or more like she needs help putting her sofa into a van ??
Be quiet, Precious! (the yappy, crappy dog in Silence was "Precious"...remember???)
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