Dating semi long distance...who commutes to date? (marriage, woman, calling)
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I'm changing my post entirely, since I reread yours again. Yeah, if someone initiates the date, let them make the first commute. Male or female doesn't matter that much, it's just how it should be.
I looked at your profile pic. You are very pretty, they most certainly should be coming to you. Now once you really get to know someone and have an actual relationship then there should be more give and take with the travel arrangements.
Well thanks, haha
I think the people who say if someone really liked me, then he would make the effort, are probably right. I think that is likely the situation...these particular guys are/were just not interested enough. I have had guys make the drive, and even one has flown in to visit me.
BTW, The hour or so drive is without worker's traffic, so approx 60 miles. It's usually freeway the whole way.
I'm going to take a slightly different approach. 1st couple of meetings, I think you should do the driving. Why?
1.) Then you have a built in excuse for leaving whenever you think its appropriate. Long drive back, gotta go, I had a really nice time, . . . bye!
2.) If you want him to take the initiative, and plan something for you guys to do, that's a whole lot easier when he's in a place he's familiar with. How's he going to plan dinner reservations, or anything like that in your town, if he doesn't really know whats there??
Once you guys know each other better, and are more comfortable, then its a matter of who has the time, who has the better schedule (i.e you get off work at 5, but he gets off at 3. Then he should be meeting you, because he has the extra time to drive down while you're gettting ready, and your date doesn't have to start at 8 o'clock at night.
Meeting him in his town takes more of the pressure off of you. You're place is out of the picture, so you don't have to worry about him "inviting" himself back to your house, if you aren't ready. You don't have to think of ways to keep the evening going. All you have to do is show up, enjoy yourself, get to know him a little better, and then exit with the hour drive back to decide if he's enough of your type to want to see him again.
When I lived in West Covina, my guy lived in Lake Arrowhead (2 hrs). He didn't have a problem driving to see me and I did make the drive up the mountain (an hour alone) more than once. He initiated contact so he felt that he should come to me first. I met a guy where he lived once and I would never do it again.
My sister works in West Covina! I've shot a few videos over there as well.
I'm going to take a slightly different approach. 1st couple of meetings, I think you should do the driving. Why?
1.) Then you have a built in excuse for leaving whenever you think its appropriate. Long drive back, gotta go, I had a really nice time, . . . bye!
2.) If you want him to take the initiative, and plan something for you guys to do, that's a whole lot easier when he's in a place he's familiar with. How's he going to plan dinner reservations, or anything like that in your town, if he doesn't really know whats there??
I can see the logic there, but it's not like these guys make plans and suggest doing something in their own area. They're just like "so when are you going to come down here & see me?" or "we should hang out next time you're in my area". I think if the guy did take more initiative and maybe specifically plan something, then I would be less hesitant about making the drive to him. It's like they want me to set it all up also....tell them when & where we can meet....
I gave a retort to an invitation like that once along the lines of "I'll be in your area when you give me a reason a to be", but it didn't go over well
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