..LOL!! thats hilarious..would have been a perfect gift for acouple of old friends of mine..
....Seriously though..Its definitely very unhealthy for anyone,including us men to repress our emotions..One of my old bosses fits this description well...He was the kind of person who was always angry about something and always had a knack for expressing things in a very negative manner..Shortly before i moved on to a different job,he ended up suffering a modest Heart attack..
I firmly believe that how we are raised can influence how most men deal with their emotions..and as was said before,..boys are often taught that showing any sort of emotion equates to a deep weakness, which in turn leads most of us down a road where we aren't able to handle the fustrations life throws us..
At this point, many of us end up "handling" those situations by completely being absent.. or through expressing our anger through physical means..both end up causing more problems down the line both for ourselves and eventually within the relationships we'll have with women..
I myself had to find such a balance on my own..as my father,who ironically was the absent/abusive type wasn't around for most of my life..
and my mother isn't exactly the best teacher either..so, this situation would leave me with lots of questions id have to answer on my own..
When i was younger, i'll admit that i was quite angry..and caused alot of trouble for my mother..and im not ashamed of going through the motions trying to find the balance i would seek through my teenage years..
It was around my 20th B-day that everything would come to a head..and id face everything id been avoiding..and i had two ways of handling it..
First,..i could continue down the angry/feel sorry for myself path, continuing to experiment with drugs, going from one gf to another..and not really putting any effort into anything except getting laid...and expessing myself with a short fuse...
Or i could open myself up to feeling something else...something id only recently ( at the time ) had witnessed...seeing another man open up,in front of about a dozen other people around a camp fire, sharing with everyone how unhappy he was..how he'd been cheating on his wife..
How strange it was to witness another male completely open himself up before all those people..and see everyone listen,and offer advise..not judge,or dismiss as weak..
..when id finally reached the place where i could see everything about myself,..i could see two things..the reflection of my father, and how i was edging twoards becoming a mirror image of him, and ..Resolution..simply getting everything out..and moving beyond simply running in circles..
I'll always remember what breaking down felt like...how on one hand, i was so embarassed, yet,..it felt so good to finally break free of everything which i couldn't express,until that moment..and,strangely,..i felt stronger then ever..
I look back and think about it sometimes..and are thankful that i chose to "speak up" and take the chance of being "weak"..in order to build upon my strength as a man..its certainly allowed me to see everything much more clearly..and i know that it will help me be a better husband and father when that time comes..
That experience also taught me how to handle everything which comes my way...no, ofcorse i don't get all sobby eyed when ..say, i loose a job,..or i break up with some girl id been dating...Its allowed me not to fear a natural part of who i am...and to be comfortable with grieving over the death of a loved one, or shedding a few tears when his children are born.. or when proposing to the girl he loves..THATS when a man should be able to express his emotions..and any woman who would have a problem with that...has her own issues. ive noticed that the women ive dated,who have this hang up,..haven't yet faced their own demons...and im not into unhealthy relationships..and im not about to hide anything,..just to win this type over..
As far as handling, say a disaster, with my head on streight...that moment i had with myself,and the incredible strength id find at that moment, would erase any doubts i had about handling anything which i might fear..and in no time, id get to experience the thrill of chasing storms across eastern Kansas...and putting myself in the path of at least two tornadoes...this was something which had fascinated me as a kid..and was something id always been afraid of...I feel truely blessed that i cried my eyes out one day,..to finally break free of everything which threaten to keep me locked away from the real meaning of what it means to become a man...and a hero
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