Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
From my experience, the biggest players are the ones that say, "I'm not interested in games." B.S. They're the biggest game players of them all!
First rule, be confident in YOURSELF. KNOW that you are worth something, and aren't literally some piece of meat. Walk with your shoulders back, chin and eyes up. Even if you aren't truly 100% confident, your body language will say that you are.
Never chase a man, ever. If you seem needy (even if you are just excited), it comes off as being very suffocating. Be elusive, but not so elusive they lose interest in the chase- keep their interests piqued so the 'chase' seems worth it.
Also, don't build up things in your head and anticipate... that will typically only leave you disappointed, and even more hurt.
Get into the mind set you don't NEED a man. You WANT one because you want to share with someone special, but don't WANT one so badly that you're desperate.
Always leave them with wanting to more... and that doesn't necessarily mean sexually.
Never, ever, ever have sex on the first date. That's a one night stand, and they'll treat you/it as such. If that's what you want, then do it, but don't expect anymore than what you got.
That whole adage of, "It'll happen when you least expect it," I believe is true. Put yourself out there, but be cool and confident about it.
Last, never settle out of fear of being X-age and alone. I've seen so many people settle out of negatives, and it typically ends badly or you're left with absolutely regret.
I don't think it's true that a player will go away if you don't have sex w/ him right away. I got played by a player once and he had to wait for months to have sex w/ me and then when he did, we did it 3X before he moved on. That's about as long as a player will stick around after. The best way to play a player is to never have sex w/ them but keep holding out the possibility--just make sure you're strong enough to hold out.
I've been reading some books on this, "How to jam up a player's game," "Play or be played" and "Checkmate."
I've been there. This guy swept me off my feet, then left me in the dust, heartbroken, with an STD, while he ran off with his next "victim." (Thank god the STD was treatable, but I'm still getting over the broken heart.)
My best advice is that you can recognize a player because usually they seem too good to be true at first. They are charming, well dressed, good looking, funny, seem well off financially, treat you nice, seem really interested in you AND interested in something serious, and they are available. You find yourself asking "He's so great, why isn't he taken." The answer is, he doesn't WANT to be taken, but he knows that if he wants to get you to have long-term non committed casual sex with him, he has to lead you to believe he IS interested in something serious with YOU. But he always has excuse about why you can't be in a serious r/ship together, like he is too busy working on getting ahead in his career, or he is scared of being hurt, etc. But he leads you to believe that it is just a matter of time before you will be together officially. And in the meantime he gets to have sex with you and give nothing in return. They also tend to have a lot of female friends. (And yes they are sleeping with all of them.) They also are very "busy" but it is mysterious exactly what they are busy doing. They come up with very creative excuses about why they can't spend every Friday and Saturday night with you, but its usually because they are busy with one of their other women.
He seems too good to be true at first, and so you think this is "The One" etc. and have sex with him. That is when he usually starts to pull back, but by that time you are in love with him. You try harder, you chase him, you want to do whatever he wants to get him back to how it was in the beginning. And he doesn't reject you, he just suddently becomes too "busy" to see you much but keeps promising on making it up to you soon etc. What he's really doing that is keeping you on the back burner for casual sex while he's pursuing other women.
A player running his "A" game though might even take you to meet his mom, take you on trips, or even take you engagement ring shopping (though of course you only look, never buy). These are the most dangerous players and probably harder to recognize.
To jam up a player's game, basically, don't fall for him until you have a commitment. Guard your heart. Watch out if his words and actions don't match up. If they don't match up, if he's all talk, no action, he's a player. Call him on it. Make him back up his words with actions. A guy who is real and truly likes you is going to want to make you happy if he wants to keep you around. If he just has a ton of excuses, tell him to leave you alone and lose your number. Make him SHOW you how much you mean to him, not just TELL you.
If you like the guy, give yourself a time limit of how long you will wait for him to commit to you. Don't tell him your time limit though, keep it to yourself. But you can say to yourself "I'll date him for 4 more months, and if he's still not ready to commit to me then, I'll move on." Some players have women they have been stringing along and sleeping with for YEARS and some of these women actually think when the player is finally ready to get married, maybe they will be chosen. Don't be one of these women... he's never gonna marry one of those.
Also, a good way to jam up a player is just don't have sex with him until you have a commitment from him. At the very least, a commitment to sexual exclusivity. Make him get tested before you have sex the first time (my player gave me an STD). And don't just sleep with him because you think you are falling in love. YOU may be falling in love, but he's not. Make him commit to a serious r/ship BEFORE sex and then you can be pretty sure he's not a player.
As for being a female player, I have done this. It was fun for awhile. I had a lot of casual "boyfriends" that I did different things with all the time. Some of them I lied to and told them they were the only ones. Others I was more honest with. But at the end of the day, it just wasn't very satisfying. It's better to have one person you REALLY like or love, as opposed to a lot of people that you don't like that much. It's a shallow meaningless existence. AND when I did find a guy I really liked, he turned out to be a player that totally lied to me and gave me an STD. It really hurt and I wouldn't want to hurt someone else like that.
Make him get tested before you have sex the first time (my player gave me an STD).
Yep, in fact, now days it's just mandatory to have your potential consort get tested before you have sex. Just go and give blood and there is a free test right there.
It's just a crazy world we live in! I was just looking at the maps just for AIDS today and it's just mind blowing how many people are walking around with this disease that I believe was unleashed on mankind; but that's another story.
1). "Blah, blah, blah, my babies' mamas....."
(he might be a player)
2)."I dont have a girlfriend cause all my exes either cheated on me or were just trying to take my money."
(he might be a player)
3)."I wish you would would have my baby". (upon first meeting you).
(he might be a player)
4)."These girls just wont leave me alone even though I try to avoid them. They are crazy....."
(he might be a player)
5)."I wanted to become a monk in my youth, but I'm glad I didn't cause then I wouldn't have met you."
(he is such a player)
6)."My girlfriend is cheating on me (or recently cheated on him). She drives me nuts." (yet wont leave her).
(He IS a player)
7). "All women are just so different from you. I can tell you are special".(how the hell????)
(he's a player)
8)."I am not like those jerks I hang out with." (yes he is)
(yup, he's a player)
9). "Those girls that call me every 5 minutes are all just friends". (Nope)
(he's a player)
10). And to finish off the list so it dont get too long, cus I could go on, but it would take too much time.
"I'm falling in love with you", said in a very short amount of time after knowing you.
(he's a player)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
