U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 11-09-2010, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
8,435 posts, read 14,359,662 times
Reputation: 10676

Advertisements

Good grief........... Look ashamed. There's more to life, sex, and relationships than weight.

Anyone, male, female, gay, straight, or neuter gender, who honestly believes 5'5" and 120lbs is too fat to function or be sexually attractive has a real problem. They are the problem. Run, walk, or even crawl away.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-09-2010, 04:39 PM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,433,610 times
Reputation: 4743
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
Good grief........... Look ashamed. There's more to life, sex, and relationships than weight.

Anyone, male, female, gay, straight, or neuter gender, who honestly believes 5'5" and 120lbs is too fat to function or be sexually attractive has a real problem. They are the problem. Run, walk, or even crawl away.


"I'm 5'5'' and 199."
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2010, 05:39 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
12,551 posts, read 12,844,584 times
Reputation: 8404
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
"I'm 5'5'' and 199."
And she was 5'5" and 120 lbs. when this lack of sex started.

What part of this are you finding difficult to understand?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2010, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
4,100 posts, read 3,205,638 times
Reputation: 5497
Default My husband won't have sex with me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeiscomplicated View Post
Funny, that's exactly what I told him (I wouldn't have sex with him after losing weight) and he said I was mean-spirited. Losing 50 lbs takes like six months and it just seems like a sentence to me that I don't deserve. For God's sakes, I gained the weight having his children after all. How can he claim he loves me so much if he won't show me any affection? I know guys separate love and sex, but I just don't see how a husband who claims to love his wife so much wouldn't want to be intimate with her.

Thanks for the replies.
Gee, you sound like you are feeling real sorry for yourself. You had his children? They will be your childred when one of you file for child support. A sentence that you don't deserve? Who does deserve it? It is you who has the eating disorder. Stop being in denial, you are fat and it is no ones fault but your own. Stop and realize that a man's sexual desires is triggered by the visual things he sees, while a woman's is triggered by other means, not visual. If a man can't get past a woman's appearance nothing is going to happen. The porn addiction and online affair may only be in the mind of a jealous person. There are always two sides to every story, I haven't heard his side. If you do loose weight you are going to teach him a lesson, right? Do you really want your marriage to survive? If you do, you had better get busy and start finding ways to save it, because it certainly is in trouble. It's never all one sided, some of these problems are your fault too.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2010, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
4,100 posts, read 3,205,638 times
Reputation: 5497
Default My husband won't have sex with me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
He sounds like an a$$, to put it bluntly.
Your right. How can a loving, supportive husband tell you that he loves you, then show zero affection?
Second that, how can a loving, caring husband who claims that he loves his wife so much, tell her so bluntly, why he is not affectionate towards her anymore? Rude!
So, you would rather him lie than tell the truth? Until they both decide to work on this situation together, nothing is going to change. Problems like this are not going to go away. Do you think a husband would stay in this relationship if he didn't love his wife? For some people love and intimacy are not connected. He hasn't kicked her out, I suspect the reason is love. This problem is not one sided, it's caused by both of them.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2010, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
4,100 posts, read 3,205,638 times
Reputation: 5497
Default My husband won't have sex with me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
At 5'5" 190 you have to admit that is big. I'm 5'7" and wiegh 160 and I'm freaking out. Of course you have the legitimate excuse of just having had a child.

Here is a fact: men don't like change, especially in women. If you were a big woman when he married you, there wouldn't be a problem but I suspect you were much smaller when he met and married you. That's thw woman he was attracted to.

I don't know why women think that having kids means you get to blow up, never lose the baby weight, and still have a man attracted to you? What's wrong with going back to your pre-baby wieght? Outside of the fact that it's healthier for you, it's healthier for your marriage.

Most women know by the time they decide to marry a man exactly why he is with her. He didn't become insensitive overnight. Either lose the weight or be prepared to lose him.
I agree 100%. Very well stated. Too bad more women don't see things like you do. Some people are always looking for an excuse to be obese.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 09:27 AM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,433,610 times
Reputation: 4743
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
And she was 5'5" and 120 lbs. when this lack of sex started.

What part of this are you finding difficult to understand?
That's not in the OP. Where is anyone implying a 120lbs at 5'5" is a problem under any context? Don't expect me to see this buried on page 6 either. I simply provided what was in the OP and you chose to be an obnoxious twit. If she had trouble as you say at "120lbs", which does not add up to her target weight of 149lbs which makes you number rather dubious, not only will she make her present situation hopeless,, but if she dumps her pale unenthusiastic hubby to become a 200lb baby mama, she is hopeless.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 10:32 AM
 
3 posts, read 5,261 times
Reputation: 12
Default The problem is much deeper and big

Nite Ryder,

By your posts I'm guessing you're a man. Let me tell you something in parallel of the original case: the case with me is very similar. The difference is that I'm not obese, never been, on the contrary, most people ask me whether I'm or have a I been a model. I'm well educated, mannered, caring and our hobbies and interests with my hubby are very similar. Yet, for years he doesn't want to touch me. I've tried everything: friendly conversations, offerred therapy (he agreed, but we never went), spoke, cried, watched his favorite porno with him, learned and applied things, etc. You name it, I've done it. He says he loves me and maybe he does, but what he loves is the comfort and security I offer him. I take care of him, the kids, the house, the bills, bank and other problems, help him with his job, arramge trips for recreation... Shortly, I'm his everything and on the top, when he goes somewhere, he has a pretty companion to show with. So, do I deserve that? You tell me. Any ideas?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 10:43 AM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,433,610 times
Reputation: 4743
Quote:
Originally Posted by despertad View Post
Nite Ryder,

By your posts I'm guessing you're a man. Let me tell you something in parallel of the original case: the case with me is very similar. The difference is that I'm not obese, never been, on the contrary, most people ask me whether I'm or have a I been a model. I'm well educated, mannered, caring and our hobbies and interests with my hubby are very similar. Yet, for years he doesn't want to touch me. I've tried everything: friendly conversations, offerred therapy (he agreed, but we never went), spoke, cried, watched his favorite porno with him, learned and applied things, etc. You name it, I've done it. He says he loves me and maybe he does, but what he loves is the comfort and security I offer him. I take care of him, the kids, the house, the bills, bank and other problems, help him with his job, arramge trips for recreation... Shortly, I'm his everything and on the top, when he goes somewhere, he has a pretty companion to show with. So, do I deserve that? You tell me. Any ideas?
Hi despertad,

Then your case is superficially similar. Gay men, women, chipmunks right on down to a pile of rocks will not react to human female beauty. Two elements are required. In your case, it may be him. To marry someone and not provide sex under reasonable conditions is not only to monopolize their sex but also not to sell. Perhaps its time to break the blockade.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 12:35 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,558,202 times
Reputation: 994
Quote:
Originally Posted by emirate25 View Post
ideal weight for 5'5'' should be 110

I'm so sick of hearing this. Sure it's the ideal weight if you 16 years old. After the birth of my first child in my late twenties. I decided to lose weight. My height is 5'4. when i got down to 115 all my family and friend started asking me if I was on crack. I didn't lose the weight over night either, it took about a year of excercise and not having a lot of money for food after my divorce.
At 5'4 and 150lbs I have many of guys hitting on me. My husband adores me and all I have to do is smile to get him aroused. Maybe it's the breasts and the curves and I have great legs from working hard. I'd rather look like Jane Russell than Twiggy.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top