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Old 01-19-2009, 01:22 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,226 posts, read 25,245,830 times
Reputation: 12386

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She should lose the weight, get healthy and look hot again and dump the immature husband.
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Old 01-19-2009, 02:28 AM
 
9 posts, read 12,778 times
Reputation: 12
I am thinking he might be giving you tough love to help you loose weight. if you were/have been 120 for the duration of your marriage and gain weight to almost 200lbs, then it must be a concern to him. If during the weight gain, he tried telling u to watch your weight over and over, and u ignored his comments over and over then I think he might be giving u tough love to help u loose the weight.
There are better ways this lil bastard could have help u with the weight loss other the rude excuse.

............ and please do not go with the INSTANT GRATIFICATION of leaving his behind. You will be gratified, your kids will loose.
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Old 01-19-2009, 03:10 AM
 
Location: Sri Lanka
47 posts, read 51,092 times
Reputation: 32
Thumbs up Reply---- Life is complicated

[/quote]Hey dear,..................... What is the meaning of your life if you always have to bow your head to your husband?No problem , if he loves you and taken care of you. But , I do'nt think he is...............There are times that you cannot control your weight even if you want to,.After having kids , with so many responsibilities may be you could not find enough time to do exercises.That ,s what we feel as mothers, . We never think about us. You know, that is the point . THINK TWICE. Think about you. Prerare a special meals for you , but which contains less caloires. Do regular exercises.Try to reduce your weight , but not to satisfy your husband. Just for your self. Wear nice clothes. shoes. accessories. Go out with your friends. Show your husband that you also enjoying life. Hope for the best..................................
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Old 01-19-2009, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Jersey Shore
824 posts, read 1,525,266 times
Reputation: 281
After living in a co-existant marriage and then getting divorced I now realize I never should have stayed in that type of relationship. You can blame it on your weight or the kids or something else but reality is you've most likely grown apart and even if you lose the weight it will be something else. Yes he may love you and will until the day you die but does he love you the way a husband should. After I got divorced and started dating I was like "holy sh**" this is what I was missing. Someone actually noticed I got my haircut. He didn't ask how my day was just to make conversation he really wanted to know and best of all he paid attention when I answered. Don't ever settle for second best. Your number one and you deserve only the best. Find a man that doesn't care about your weight someone who accepts you for who you are. Someone you can share your feelings with and look forward to waking up next to each and everyday.
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Old 01-19-2009, 09:43 AM
 
Location: New England
914 posts, read 997,410 times
Reputation: 909
I was in this position a couple years ago. I tend to get very comfortable in relationships and its a never fail to gain some weight. I say, don't lose weight for him, but if you want to look and feel sexy, have that reason as a spring board. Walk with a little more confidence! Big IS beautiful, you know! Don't settle for anything! If his eyes are straying, do something about it! Cook dinner for him in the nude! Wear some Lingerie!!!!!

Its all in how you wear it.

Either way, if he's having online affairs, why stick around anyway? Thats not good for the soul, and everyone knows that.
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Old 01-19-2009, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 9,587,872 times
Reputation: 3624
Maybe he's uncomfortable because he didn't expect you to gain so much weight with the baby. You've had the baby there's no reason you can't lose the weight that came with the child. You probably don't look the same as when you got married. Maybe if you looked the same way you did when you got married, maybe he would feel better about having sex with you.
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Old 01-19-2009, 10:11 AM
 
730 posts, read 1,848,874 times
Reputation: 314
You can't marry someone and expect them to always look the way they did on the day you married them.

Come on! People age, weight goes up and down, wrinkles come. All you can expect from the person you love is they take the best care of themselves they can.
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Old 01-19-2009, 02:19 PM
 
Location: New England
914 posts, read 997,410 times
Reputation: 909
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnePatrice View Post
You can't marry someone and expect them to always look the way they did on the day you married them.

Come on! People age, weight goes up and down, wrinkles come. All you can expect from the person you love is they take the best care of themselves they can.

Thats why there's no way in hell i'm getting married!!!!
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Old 01-19-2009, 02:24 PM
 
730 posts, read 1,848,874 times
Reputation: 314
Well good luck. I'm sure being single when you are old and fat and wrinkled would be a blast!!
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Old 01-19-2009, 02:50 PM
 
Location: On the Sunny Side of the Street
355 posts, read 544,757 times
Reputation: 203
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeiscomplicated View Post
Funny, that's exactly what I told him (I wouldn't have sex with him after losing weight) and he said I was mean-spirited. Losing 50 lbs takes like six months and it just seems like a sentence to me that I don't deserve. For God's sakes, I gained the weight having his children after all. How can he claim he loves me so much if he won't show me any affection? I know guys separate love and sex, but I just don't see how a husband who claims to love his wife so much wouldn't want to be intimate with her.

Thanks for the replies.
You gained the weight because you ate more calories than you were expending.

Lose the weight, find a man who you deserve, and then dump the bastard husband.
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