Big City vs. Small town for dating/meeting people (wife, long-term, women)

[luv_it_here]

I don't know if this is a question or just a general complaint. I started a divorce almost a year ago (techically, its been two years since I lived with my ex, but thats another story) So, in the middle of the divorce he got transferred across country, and for the sake of the kids, I moved too. I love it here, but now I'm wondering . . . what the heck convinced me that moving across country to a much smaller town would be a good idea knowing I would soon be single again. Well, soon is debatable - its been over a year and the divorce STILL isn't final.

Anyways, now I'm wondering. I came from Phx (pop ~4 million in the metro area) to a "big city" in SD - pop around ~65K. There are more people to choose from in Phx, but maybe I'm kidding myself, because I know people there weren't really known for being friendly.

So, what does everyone think? Is it easier to meet people in a HUGE metro area, or should I be grateful that I moved to a smaller, friendlier town?

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by luv_it_here

So, what does everyone think?

I think you're nuts to move to SD regardless of the population... Sorry, I know that's not what you're asking.

[orangeapple]

Sorry to tell you this.....but I grew up in a small town (pop. less than 40k) and now live in a small city (approx 100k) and it is REALLY, REALLY hard to meet new people & date.

There's far less variety of people, and so if you don't fit in with your work / school /church then you're screwed, because those are the only pools you have to fish in. When I drive to cities like LA or SD, then I meet so many more like-minded people, and there's less worry about how I come off, because there's so many more options. If I don't hit it off with a guy, it's not like that's the dead end of my social network.

For a small town, you have to be instantly likable to people because if you don't click, that was your one shot and one opportunity; there's not as many new people to move onto. Plus, that person probably knows a lot of other people you know, and they will spread their opinions of you; small town people are more clique-ish and actually harder to be-friend because of it. You will also inevitably run into them at some point, which is awkward. So if you're not cookie cutter and don't break into cliques easily, then it will be difficult in a small town.

Also, there's simply less opportunities to meet people. There's not as much going on in small towns and little to no night life. Like I said, outside of work / school / church there's not a lot of ways to date. I guess you have to network well, but there's less avenues for expanding a network....

[WyoNewk]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I think you're nuts to move to SD regardless of the population... Sorry, I know that's not what you're asking.

Okay, where's the swat icon?



Lov_it,
I think a town that's too small can be a big problem, but I'm not so sure Rapid City is too small. You'll probably meet about as many people in a small city as you would in a larger one, so having an extra 3,935,000 people around you that you'll never meet isn't likely to make much difference except create all kinds of pollution and heavy traffic.

If you like Rapid City, I think you should stay there. Enlarge your circle of friends, take up some social hobbies, get involved in community affairs, and have fun. You should meet plenty of eligible guys, and most will be living in the area you like.

Good luck!

[Tropical Trouble]

I moved from a small city with a population around 40,000 to a city with a metro area of around 2 million and I much prefer the big city. It's much easier to find activities to get involved in without having to drive 75 miles to do so. I've met a lot of nice people here. No relationships so far, but I think the chances of finding someone here are much greater than in a small town.

[smoky_topaz]

Big towns/small cities are the best. Small towns are too insular, and big cities have too much competition, or so I am told.

But good luck in SD, I hear the men outnumber women there quite a bit, so should be no problem...

[Keeper]

I agree Big towns/smaller cities are best, at least you have more of a selection. In a small town (less than 20K) especially when women usually outnumber men your chances of meeting Mr. Right is about slim to none and you are a newcomer to town.

In the Big city, I had no problem at all finding a date

Of course, if men outnumber women in SD then you are lucky.

[Hillman]

Dang I can't picture living in a City of over 50K.2K is Big to me,too much in the way of cars in a hurry to get nowhere.I met my wife in a town of 400 that was Big enough.

The town we live next to now has 12 people maybe.But its always hard to get to Church on Sunday with the traffic You know all the Horse and Buggies

hillman

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by WyoNewk

Okay, where's the swat icon?

Here!



http://www.gogo-gadgets.co.uk/ekmps/...ly_swatter.jpg

[TabulaRasa]

I dated tons more during my time in small towns than my time in urban areas. The catch is that I didn't date just from MY small town...the net was expanded to include ALL SURROUNDING small towns. Guys were chomping at the bit to go out with the rarity...a young, educated, degreed professional female who didn't come with a passal of kids already, living in a small, rural town. I had scarcity value, it was a rare thing. In an urban area, that's not so rare. I'm currently in an urban area and in a long-term, serious, cohabiting relationship, but if I were single and on the market, I have no doubt that things would be tough. Most of my single acquaintances point this out often.