so i broke up with my girlfriend and now im miserable... (women, single)

[recuerdeme]

Big Yellow Taxi

[rlrl]

1978 hit by Player "Baby Come Back"

[Whyte Byrd]

You miss her? Do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you want her back? Or are you just lonely? If it were me, I'd ask you leave me alone unless and until you know for sure. Don't screw with someone's life and heart.

[thatsong64]

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

She`s a habit, like the others have mentioned.
Its possible that you didn`t realize how much you cared for her, until she was gone, but I agree with the rest here, give it some time.
Your heart will let you know how it really feels, in time.

Bingo. Definetly give it some time and some get with some other chicks and see if you feel the same way. You probaly won't.

[Jay100]

Originally Posted by dmb24illini

i'll give some background to the situation...

i had been dating my now ex-girlfriend for over 11 months. we never had a fight. she is a great girl but i just, while dating her, never saw her as someone i would ultimately marry. we did everything together--movies, concerts, sporting events, restaurants, etc.

we had a talk about 3 months ago and what came out of it is that I told her eventually I wanted to date other people. I basically gave her every reason to dump me right then but she didn't. For awhile, I couldn't bring myself to break up with her until this week, when on a whim, I decided to do it. Didn't think anything through...just decided to say we should see other people.

When I met her, I had just moved to a big city halfway across the country and knew very few people. my world out here was centered with and around her.

I had spent awhile looking around at my friends...ones who were in new relationships and head over heels. or moving in with their girlfriend. or getting engaged. although I had an amazing girl, I didn't have those same raw feelings. Maybe I was scared, maybe I didn't want to hurt her, maybe...I dont know. We were about to book a vacation together and I hit the "panic" button.

While I never thought we'd go the distance, breaking up with her is bringing out some different feelings about her. I am thinking about her all the time (that's nothing new). I want to see how shes doing but know that will make it worse for her. I feel like I blew it big time. I miss her.

Anyone want to help me make sense of my feelings and help me get my head on straight? I know it takes time but I also have never been on the "giving" end of a long term relationship like this.

Thanks in advance.

Just my opinion but if you still have regrets about dumping someone a year or two later--when your head is clear and you're thinking straight and you STILL regret it-- then it was probably a mistake.

[JCGlide9]

I just went through the same thing yesterday. I loved her so much. I know she is precious and amazing and the most beautiful thing to me. There was never a time when I found her unattractive.

I never felt like she was undoubtedly the one. I did not want to simply end things with her; she has been my companion for 3 years and we've been through so many great things together. It's not fair to her or myself to continue a relationship that will inevitably end. We're both young and will have opportunity to find love again...but it's so hard.

I only remember the good things...

[Addicted88]

I sort of did the same thing. My ex was the perfect girl with honestly an award winning American family. The father even offered me money to quit my job and go to school full time. The only problem was that behind all that perfection she was addicted to oxycodone and dragged me down too. After 2 years I finally couldn't take being on the drug and I had associated her to the drug and it made me see her as just a fix. I broke up with her and I've been clean for a month. Now that I'm clean I miss her so much I'm a wreck. On top of all that her family thinks I'm a piece of **** for dumping her but they don't know the whole picture. She says she's clean now but I don't believe her. Somedays i want to just say **** and be with her even if it means I might become addicted again.

[Ulysses61]

Telling a steady GF that you "eventually want to date other people" is essentially the kiss of death. Someone truly in love with their GF or BF would never suggest this, say it or want it. You made your bed, as we all do, so you have to lie in it.

Learn from this egregious mistake and move on. Don't tell any future GF you want to date others unless you TRULY want to dump them.

[JerZ]

Guys, this post is almost two and a half years old and the poster never returned...just so ya know!

[Greengentlewoman]

Me and my(at the moment) ex boyfriend have been on and off for about 2 years now. We have broken up about 3 times now, and it was I who did the breaking all 3 of them... I would get so insecure in the relationship and afraid that I would lose my life to him by staying with him if he was going to just leave me one day since I am so young... But the insecurities would add up from him never telling me he loves me to the not calling... I would bottle my emotions inside and release them all in one fiery blast by dumping him, and then we would get back together not too long later (Initiated by me). So, me and him broke up again last night, this is our 3rd time I believe, and for once we were both in tears, not just me... I am usually the one that ends up crying... I had felt like I had given up on the relationship, and it was just unbearable... But here I am thinking that if I had talked about those insecurities and the love thing more, instead of just assuming taht we will not last, maybe things would have been better... But I can't help but feel like we should stay single and apart, but I want him back so bad and he is all I can think about... I had never stopped thinking about him as my lover even while I was breaking up with him... I just thought a break up would be the right thing to do... Advice?