Why need enemies when you have a brother like this (movies, how to)

[60-minutes-II]

Ok, I get upset with my brother because he likes to lecture me and talk me down. Here is just what he wrote to me. And I do like to watch movies. I love watching movies and I also like listening to soundtracks. But basically my brother whenever I try to be nice to him I get belittled. I don't know what to do with him. I want a relationship with him but not if he is always acting this way. I am not a kid and I am not stupid or "young in the brain".
A part of it sounds like he "cares" but the truth is he doesn't. He just wants to make himself sound superior. And I really hate that. Do I respond to the email or just leave it alone?

If you really liked watching movies (which I don't think you do) you would watch a lot of different types of movies. You would watch old ones and new ones and different ones. You would pay attention to the camera angles and transitions and the cuts and camera movement and the color schemes. Do you really like this?
To me it seems like you like soundtracks, this is what you rent when we go to the library. You would spend your time reading about movies and finding movies you want to watch. I used to be like this...
Plus how you described your movie ideas tells me you don't know what you are talking about.
But maybe you think you like it and you want to try and develop this, well okay go ahead.
But you could learn if you wanted.



I think you need to grow up. You are a little to old to be dreaming about movies. Movies are about creative writing, I don't think you have ever shown interest for creative writing.
People who want to make movies are usually caught up in the glamour, not the actual art form. If you want to make movies as a writer you need to be good at all types of writing. Writing movies is just a different way, you can still write books or short stories or stuff like this. Do you write short stories?

I don't mean to "crush" your dreams. But to me you sound lost in a wishy washy sort of state. Instead of thinking and changing your mind every so often you need to DO. Go do something. Start making things happen...

Anyway, you never listen.

And no I don't think you are a fool, but too young in your mind.

Am I in the wrong here?

[Mr.Cat]

If I were you I would just limit my contact with him until he realizes what he's doing. He might be your brother but enough is enough.

[castufari]

I have a brother who is the same way. My GF and I were at the beach one day and he shows up. Asks me why I'm going to hang out on the beach when I could be fishing. I said that the GF wanted to hit the beach and that I really didn't want to fish. He went off on a tirade about "don't let women control you" and then another one about fishing. I walked away.

Some people you just have to ignore. I've not seen him since and it doesn't bother me. Life isn't like some 50s soap opera.

[ZugZub]

Originally Posted by 60-minutes-II

Ok, I get upset with my brother because he likes to lecture me and talk me down. Here is just what he wrote to me. And I do like to watch movies. I love watching movies and I also like listening to soundtracks. But basically my brother whenever I try to be nice to him I get belittled. I don't know what to do with him. I want a relationship with him but not if he is always acting this way. I am not a kid and I am not stupid or "young in the brain".
A part of it sounds like he "cares" but the truth is he doesn't. He just wants to make himself sound superior. And I really hate that. Do I respond to the email or just leave it alone?

Am I in the wrong here?

Ignore it. Either he's a jerk without realizing it and that will not change, or he's deliberately trying to get a rise out of you. So don't let him "win" and just ignore it.

[HookTheBrotherUp]

It is hard to say one way or another, there is not enough information on you. Age is noted, how old are you? Also, what is your background/education. He could be trying to help, or just putting you down.

[60-minutes-II]

Originally Posted by HookTheBrotherUp

It is hard to say one way or another, there is not enough information on you. Age is noted, how old are you? Also, what is your background/education. He could be trying to help, or just putting you down.

I am 22, I have not yet finished my degree. Its history with a minor in Political Science. I plan to go to graduate school and study economics. Should I tell you a little about his background?

[60-minutes-II]

I should also note that for the first two years of college I was studying pre-med. Until I realized I didn't want to do it.

[Granny Sue]

I had a SIL that liked to do this....now mind you we're older so it's even worse.

I finally asked her, in a very nice conversational way, why she felt the need to say these things and act that way. It made her realize what she was doing and how it sounded.

She then looked down her nose at me and said "I'm sorry I made you feel stupid."

My reply.."Oh don't worry, you didn't make me feel stupid, I just didn't understand why you tried to make me feel stupid."

She's never done it since.

Bottom line, don't give someone else the power to make you feel inferior, it only makes them stronger and you weaker.

[60-minutes-II]

Originally Posted by Kali's Grandma

I had a SIL that liked to do this....now mind you we're older so it's even worse.

I finally asked her, in a very nice conversational way, why she felt the need to say these things and act that way. It made her realize what she was doing and how it sounded.

She then looked down her nose at me and said "I'm sorry I made you feel stupid."

My reply.."Oh don't worry, you didn't make me feel stupid, I just didn't understand why you tried to make me feel stupid."

She's never done it since.

Bottom line, don't give someone else the power to make you feel inferior, it only makes them stronger and you weaker.

I've done that with my brother but he got upset with me. And told me off. Called me a moron and that I didn't know how to articulate and that I should first learn before I try to "talk" with him. And so ever since-oh about two years-we really haven't had a conversation because he looks away or he belittles me.

[emailvasally]

I am a little confused. How old are you and your brother? Is this a career you are going for? Have you started a bunch of things and then stopped without finishing? Could your Older brother be trying to convince you of something, but in the wrong way? Do you just like watching movies and he is blowing it out of proportion?

Just off of this one email it is difficult to make a judgement. I have written and told my own brother similar stuff to this. sometimes I do seem a little high and mighty probably but I do it out of love and dont realize until afterwords. If this is a constant thing and you are hurt by it, tell him. Let him know you may make mistakes but you dont need him criticing you constantly. if he continues, you may need to distant yourself for awhile.