Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Always find it amazing to see the number of relationships, where either sex has alot going for them and sees life more as a glass half full not empty. But their partner has alot of negativity (see life more as a glass half empty) about them, eg. snap easily, moaning, complaining, not much humour.
For a long term relationship I certainly couldn't do it. I've always been a positive person (glass half full) and seek only females like minded.
From my first paragraph why do you think people do this? is it typically beacuse of a lack of self respect and lack of self esteem. Are there other reasons I'm missing.
I guess the intial stages you sometimes don't see that side of a person. Once the relationship develops and you develop feelings for the person, some people hang in there. I can understand that to a point, personally for me been in that situation and once that side of the person developed it was out the door for me.
Some people just see half a glass, they don't consider it either half full or half empty.
Could be a lot of reasons someone is unhappy or stressed, there are a range of reasons for a range of human emotions.
I like that analogy of the grandma in Parenthood, something about the roller coaster, sometimes up, sometimes down but she was always happy to be riding it.
If you want someone that's always happy and positive that's great but life isn't always happy and positive and in a relationship you're not always going to be hitting peaks and troughs at the same time.
I reckon you're far better off looking for the right person to compliment you and if you discover that you really love someone, even if it's really hard sometimes you still want to be with them through the bad times, as well as the good.
If you want someone that's always happy and positive that's great but life isn't always happy and positive and in a relationship you're not always going to be hitting peaks and troughs at the same time.
Oh don't worry completely agree. Life is full of ups and downs and for 2 people in a relationship that can and often does happen at different times.
BUT its how you deal/cope with the bad times. A) Excessive dead end type moaning, whinging, yelling........ or B) talking about it in a more constructive manner with maybe abit of crying.....I know which one I prefer
Doesn't always have to be B) can sometimes be A) too, but just not too damn often.
Oh don't worry completely agree. Life is full of ups and downs and for 2 people in a relationship that can and often does happen at different times.
BUT its how you deal/cope with the bad times. A) Excessive dead end type moaning, whinging, yelling........ or B) talking about it in a more constructive manner with maybe abit of crying.....I know which one I prefer
Doesn't always have to be B) can sometimes be A) too, but just not too damn often.
Well I'd agree with that.
Having come from a relationship where it was mostly all A and quite a few other pretty bad habits too. Suffice to say that's over now because there is a limit to how much one partner can buoy up the other IF their other needs aren't being met. I wouldn't say it was the negativity that caused the end of the relationship and I do know that I had a positive impact in helping that person to "re-program" their negative patterns BUT even I couldn't help them with everything.
I guess I've learned HOW to change those negative thought patterns through a lot of hard work. Questioning a negative thought when it comes up, then challenging it, then dismissing it and finally reprogramming it with a more positive thought. Also I think that with some people if they are tending more toward A for a time it can be indicative of something else going on. Stress, depression, illness both physical and mental. In my case it was probably a little of all 3, in my ex partners definitely mental illness.
It's worth looking at it from that perspective as well as by looking at it from a behavioural modification angle.
OR if you're just wanting to have a bit of fun and you're not that serious or it's just not happening, adios is always a good option.
Having come from a relationship where it was mostly all A and quite a few other pretty bad habits too. Suffice to say that's over now because there is a limit to how much one partner can buoy up the other IF their other needs aren't being met. I wouldn't say it was the negativity that caused the end of the relationship and I do know that I had a positive impact in helping that person to "re-program" their negative patterns BUT even I couldn't help them with everything.
I guess I've learned HOW to change those negative thought patterns through a lot of hard work. Questioning a negative thought when it comes up, then challenging it, then dismissing it and finally reprogramming it with a more positive thought. Also I think that with some people if they are tending more toward A for a time it can be indicative of something else going on. Stress, depression, illness both physical and mental. In my case it was probably a little of all 3, in my ex partners definitely mental illness.
It's worth looking at it from that perspective as well as by looking at it from a behavioural modification angle.
OR if you're just wanting to have a bit of fun and you're not that serious or it's just not happening, adios is always a good option.
Well said, tried to rep you but it wouldn't let me again lol
Well, this may just be their personality or their way of expressing themselves. The trick is not to take it personally or to make it your chore in life to constantly be cheerful or cheering them up.
It does get old - I think the key is to express that it gets tiring to hear the negativity. Most people don't want to make your life uncomfortable.
It can be a pain when you are the optimistic one and the other is in negative mode. My DH thinks of pessimism as being realistic. To him, it is looking at all the angles and seeing where the pitfalls are.
He and I take turns with the optimism/pessimism. We don't plan it that way, of course. It does help to see other points of view though. We sort of balance each other out. Doesn't mean we don't want to choke one another once in a while.
My DH thinks that if it wasn't for his "realistic," pessimistic mind, I would be skipping willy nilly through the daisies with nary a care in the world!!! LOL!!!
I made it a point later in life to only date optimists.
The cynical bitter types get really old really fast.
Oooh, same in reverse here. Happy-go-lucky types bore me to death.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
