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Old 02-01-2009, 12:39 PM
 
809 posts, read 1,837,249 times
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Default Guys that are flaky???

Are most men flaky???? Or are they just scared of committment????

My guy swings from being SOOOO in love one month, then the next he's questioning himself and telling me that he's "falling out" (he doesn't say "falling out of love" he just says "falling out")........ but then if he tries to end it, he like has an inner fight with himself and eventually a few days later comes back and tells me he was a fool from the beginning.....

(Keep in mind we are in a long distance relationship and have been for almost a year. I'm suppose to be moving to the city he's living in within a month or two for my job and we will be close again, and NOW all of a sudden AGAIN he's having these "doubts".......)

I'm wondering if ALL guys are this friggin flaky???? Or if he's just scared of committment or something?
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Old 02-01-2009, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,342 posts, read 14,078,337 times
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I think he needs to realize what he wants, before you make the move.
If he is playing head games now, then it may be the same way when you move. Tell him to sh*t, or get off the pot!
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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I think often people in their 20's(i assume he's in that age range) are still finding themselves and their place in life. It's easier I think in your 30's to know what you want for you and what you want in a partner than when you are 25.

Also I find most people are lazy and stay in relationships that don't really work. Usually if someone waffles that much they really don't have the commitment but are too lazy to get out.

And another thing I see is women are always looking for "commitment" and reassurance, whereas men really don't give much thought to those things. It just doesn't cross our mind I think as much as women. Therefore if we waffle, we don't really care.
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:05 PM
 
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hahaha :P Well my JOB is what is taking me out there........ he's the secondary thing.... but what the crap????........ for the past year we've both been talking about how we can't wait for me to finally get transfered and then right when it finally starts getting going he gets cold feet or something

(BEFORE he moved out there, like a year ago, we were AWESOME as a couple when he lived here..... then HE moved cuz of HIS job and it's been strained ever since. But BEFORE he moved we hardly EVER fought and he NEVER got cold feet like this!)
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,848 posts, read 2,978,614 times
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When people tell you something, LISTEN. He is telling you he is falling out and is not certain about staying in the relationship...that is something you need to really LISTEN to and consider.

Perhaps a break from the relationship is in order. Focus on your career and let him focus on whatever else it is that makes you happy.

Maybe you will both end up on the same page and maybe not.
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Darlington, SC
2,413 posts, read 3,404,833 times
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As a guy who is involved in a similar relationship right this minute...

It sounds like he possibly is seeing someone there, or is thinking about it. That may be why he is conflicted
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:12 PM
 
Location: los angeles, ca
318 posts, read 520,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IonRedline08 View Post
As a guy who is involved in a similar relationship right this minute...

It sounds like he possibly is seeing someone there, or is thinking about it. That may be why he is conflicted
That's what I was thinking. A year is a long time for a guy not to have done the dirty with someone else. I am a pessimist when it comes to long distance relationships. JUst expect the worst but hope for the best.
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:24 PM
 
809 posts, read 1,837,249 times
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We are VERY truthful in our relationship and I directly asked him if there IS someone else. He said no, and I can tell when he's lying and when he isn't. I don't believe there is anyone else. I have a lot of trust in him when it comes to that.
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Old 02-01-2009, 04:30 PM
 
9,694 posts, read 11,837,802 times
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I think long distance relationships are good for a time to truly test a relationship. IMO it would seem this guy is having second thoughts. Probably I'd keep your eyes and ears open and if the relationship is important to you then let it play out.
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Old 02-01-2009, 04:30 PM
 
Location: southern california
48,930 posts, read 45,153,672 times
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i had a girlfriend that bitterly complained about my lack of committment.
so i had her committed.
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