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Old 02-02-2009, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,161 posts, read 8,332,599 times
Reputation: 5973

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I think you should stay. It wil probably be better tomorrow...or in 10-15 years. Maybe 20 years. Or maybe 40 years. Yeah, you'll look back at the the last 40 years and say, "Yeah...it's good now. Glad I waited 40 years."

P.S. That is what I call, "Sarcasm." I'd be gone yesterday. It doesn't sound so great. You're definitely not happy. He sounds like a bum. Do you see him changing? I got a secret for you. He won't. There you go.
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Old 02-02-2009, 08:06 PM
 
1,117 posts, read 1,307,508 times
Reputation: 961
I find these threads very entertaining, and I enjoy reading (and posting) here. But I have to ask the OP...WHY would you want the advice of a bunch of strangers whom you've never met? And how could any of us give you valid advice when we've only heard one side of the story?
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Old 02-02-2009, 08:28 PM
 
900 posts, read 894,524 times
Reputation: 472
Hi, I wanted the advice of a bunch of strangers because me sister and mom whom I usually talk to have been saying the same thing for years (GO) but they think I am better than I actually am, meaning smarter and prettier, as though no one would have been good enough.

True, there are 2 sides 2 every story, Id imagine he would say I am too close to my family in a negative way, too. (Some business dealing with my father, I small favor I did for him that my husband didn't agree with.) I admit I am also very strict, but I know becasue I haven't been that way in all my relationships (only 2 before, this is my first marriage), his not coming home after work and rather drinking and gambling at his old job (used 2 work in a casino) made me stricter (I think a married man should come home more often than not , not hang out & act single. I know some of you will not agree , but I am being honest.) Drinking and gambling are not positive things. I am a worrier and a nag (go over the same thing more than necessary.) Id imagaine he's not sexually happy with me either. (says we don't do it enough.)

Wanted 2 add there are no children.

I thank every one for thier feedback, sometimes strangers can be more objective. (except the mean guy who said I was so whiney he couldn't stand me already. That was rude. People considering divorce are usually not at thier best.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by FormerCaliforniaGirl View Post
I find these threads very entertaining, and I enjoy reading (and posting) here. But I have to ask the OP...WHY would you want the advice of a bunch of strangers whom you've never met? And how could any of us give you valid advice when we've only heard one side of the story?
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Old 02-02-2009, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 9,681,741 times
Reputation: 3630
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Sounds like you are VERY immature.

I would like to hear his side of things first.

Your side is just a whiney, nagging pitch even through your writing.

The (wah wah wah wah BTW) stuff was too much. You really need to grow up a bit and look at the good you DO have. Seriously. I could spend 10 minutes on the stuff I don't like about you too and I don't even know you. See?

Just support him. He IS your husband. Nothing worse than being kicked while you are down from losing your job.
This is absolute non-sense. If a man is disrespecting you, is threatening your financial stability and the idea of being intimate with him turns you off, I'd say this marriage has been dead a long time and it's time to let it go. Yes, it's scary starting over, but what's out there cannot possibly be worse than what you are experiencing. I would run. Run fast, run hard and don't look back. Good Luck.
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Old 02-02-2009, 09:40 PM
 
Location: los angeles, ca
318 posts, read 536,708 times
Reputation: 186
When you find yourself asking this question is when you know you need to get a divorce.
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Old 02-02-2009, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 4,111,706 times
Reputation: 1079
I would not waste another day! Not another hour! Not another minute! Not another second, of my life on someone that I had to question. ESPECIALLY...if we did not have kids together! I have been divorced once before and I would do it again if I thought that the rest of my life was going to be full of doom and gloom! This is about personal worth and if I thought for one second that I was selling myself short, I would walk away.
Now, please understand that this is what I would do and I am not directing you one way or another, BUT...if you feel the need to log onto CD to get advice, that should tell you something right there.
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Old 02-02-2009, 11:34 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,275 posts, read 47,627,816 times
Reputation: 41668
bit rough, male chauvenist pig background, not afraid to go in debt, UIB checks, sounds kinda of sexy no?
from reading the posts, most women seem to like em like that. unless you stand to get a fat settlement, why switch?
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Old 02-02-2009, 11:47 PM
 
47,585 posts, read 35,942,331 times
Reputation: 21593
If you don't have kids, it doesn't seem like you have any real reason to stay in that marriage, it sounds pretty loveless and you're already flirting with other men.
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:14 PM
 
7,532 posts, read 6,257,225 times
Reputation: 6678
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
This is absolute non-sense. If a man is disrespecting you, is threatening your financial stability and the idea of being intimate with him turns you off, I'd say this marriage has been dead a long time and it's time to let it go. Yes, it's scary starting over, but what's out there cannot possibly be worse than what you are experiencing. I would run. Run fast, run hard and don't look back. Good Luck.
I will tell you what "absolute non-sense" is. Giving advice to run.

When you buy a boat, you sail in the boat for a few years and as soon as a storm comes up upon you a few other things go wrong. The sails tear, the ropes shred a bit and the thing starts to creek. According to your advice...you should run...run...run!! Well....where???? You are in a storm of trouble. You think it is better to jump in the water? You think it is better to bash the only person (spouse) that is with you on this journey?

Wait it out and do your best to be supportive. Once things pass and the storm has settled and you are thinking straight again...you can decide if you would like a new, better boat. OOORRRR...you can look back and say..."Wow, that ole girl got me through that crazy time."

You choice.......
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:31 PM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 3,420,586 times
Reputation: 3746
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
When you buy a boat, you sail in the boat for a few years and as soon as a storm comes up upon you a few other things go wrong. The sails tear, the ropes shred a bit and the thing starts to creek. According to your advice...you should run...run...run!! Well....where???? You are in a storm of trouble. You think it is better to jump in the water? You think it is better to bash the only person (spouse) that is with you on this journey?

Wait it out and do your best to be supportive. Once things pass and the storm has settled and you are thinking straight again...you can decide if you would like a new, better boat. OOORRRR...you can look back and say..."Wow, that ole girl got me through that crazy time."
I love it when people use metaphors as "proof" -- it never gets old. Well, I guess all those people who abandoned the sinking Titanic were idiots, then. And Andrea Dorea. And US Airways Flight 1549.
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