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If you live with somebody or work next to someone very closely then you most likely will see their other dimensions, other than that, you probably would only see one side to the person.
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Originally Posted by RichardW
Who are you to even judge that someone is "passive aggressive then"? You might only see one dimension of someone's personality and then based on 99% ignorance choose to portray them as an all negative "energy sucking" individual. Life at least could be about trying to understand people you encounter in your life and if you can only take the "smooth" and not deal with the "rough" of understanding people then you won't learn much and your attitude shows enough of this dear.
I know better that nobody can wholly fit one definition that you can easily place them in and neither is anyone all negative. Most of these "passive aggressive" people (as judged by you) might well be on an uphill struggle to improve their ways and when they make progress the shear courage and strength of will is far beyond what you know! I believe we will all get there because everyone underneath is a compassionate being who wants love and understanding like we all ultimately do.
That said feel free to avoid such people given a good reason but stick with what you are comfortable with in life all the time gives you the double standard.
artsy..thank you. The thing that threw me there was the passive. Because correct me if i'm wrong but I always thought passive meant more layed back as to where aggressive well I know what that is. So it just didn't make sense to me.
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Originally Posted by artsyguy
It's funny, I was reading an online book about passive aggression just last night. The behaviors are expressed in so many ways. Some of the behaviors are outright in your face aggression and hostility. The book focused on hostility as the main emotion. I'm not sure why there is so much hostility though.
When you see it and hear it you will probably know it because it feels bad.
Besides the hostility, think of it also as trickery.
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Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1
artsy..thank you. The thing that threw me there was the passive. Because correct me if i'm wrong but I always thought passive meant more layed back as to where aggressive well I know what that is. So it just didn't make sense to me.
Can you define passive aggressive to me? Cause to me that makes no sense..now I feel like a total idiot but ....
The way I understand it is that the aggressiveness component is to work to someone's (the recipient's) detriment. However, the passive part is an important part of the equation. This means it's underhanded and subversive. To me, that means omission...or not acting on something. The "in your face" nature of any aggressiveness would preclude it from being passive-aggressive, in my opinion. I'm too "in your face" to be considered passive-aggressive. I'm told I'm forward...and even obnoxious. But that's cool...I already knew that.
My ex was abusive and passive agressiveness was a big trait of his. It is a way to attempt to control the other person by conveniently forgetting times and dates, not talking, etc. It is almost as bad as real aggression.
Who are you to even judge that someone is "passive aggressive then"?
My grandmother is the poster child of passive aggressive personalities, she fits the profile to a T. She married a pedophile, had 5 children with this man... and guess what happens when you have a passive-aggressive woman in a situation like this? How do you think she coped? I'm sorry if I managed to get your knickers in a twist, but she has ruined any chance for me to look beyond the PA behavior, because if they are placed in a bad situation, it becomes more than just an annoying behavior.
Oh I've had my share of encounters with passive aggressive people. To me, passive aggressiveness is cowardly, two-faced, ugly, (and there's too darn many PA people). I had, unfortunately, to get in the face of several passive aggressive people because frankly, I can't stand them. I can't stand their phoneyness (sp.). So, as a result, I've made a few of them cry just by standing right in front of them, looking them in the eyes, and saying, "if you have something to say to me, then say it to my face" (I find the direct approach is best with a passive aggressive person). Nowadays, I just prefer to cut them out of my life as soon as I recognize the PA characteristics.
The way I understand it is that the aggressiveness component is to work to someone's (the recipient's) detriment. However, the passive part is an important part of the equation. This means it's underhanded and subversive. To me, that means omission...or not acting on something. The "in your face" nature of any aggressiveness would preclude it from being passive-aggressive, in my opinion. I'm too "in your face" to be considered passive-aggressive. I'm told I'm forward...and even obnoxious. But that's cool...I already knew that.
They're sneaky and crafty at doing things but if they are confronted it's a, "What did I say? What did I do?"
Right?
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So, as a result, I've made a few of them cry just by standing right in front of them, looking them in the eyes, and saying, "if you have something to say to me, then say it to my face" (I find the direct approach is best with a passive aggressive person
