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Crappy thing is I let my g/f go out a few times with her friends...was told she would be home by 10-11 so I'd stop by and meet her...only to find her coming home at like 12-4am....
I would call/text once every hour AFTER the 10 to make sure she was ok....and get like a highly vague response 2 hrs later...
^^^ Calling your girlfriend once every hour when she is running late seems stupid to me. If she's having a great time, then let her be. If something else has happened... well you're not a doctor or EMT.
My boyfriend and I never bother each other with phonecalls if one of is out with friends. Even if the estimated time of returning home isn't met. When he's out with friends, it's my time to have a good time at home with my dogs. If he's late, I'm not going to get my panties in a bunch. I guess I feel that nothing bad is happening to him if he's late. And he's been in an accident, then well.. what will be will be. Me rushing to the ER sooner than later isn't going to help him out. So why pester him with calls? I TRUST that he is fine. And he TRUSTS me to be fine, and he knows that I am a good driver and a sensible person. Plus all of his friends have our home phone number and would call me if I was needed.
She's insecure, and she probably doesn't trust you. I'd first reassure her that you're not going anywhere and that you love her (yes it's ridiculous but just do it), but if that doesn't work, this girl is a bit paranoid and she DEFINITELY doesn't trust you.
A simple "I am fine" text, isn't asking too much. Or, "Im gonna be later than expected".........but don't tell me to be at your house around 10 because you'll be getting home. Not only does it ruin my entire night, but it leaves me worried. Especially when I am 26 and she is 20 and thinks she is on top of the world and invincible.
And if we want to get technical I text/call every hour (or so) until I fell asleep, well before 3am. But waking up at 130-2am and not knowing what's going on because your S.O. isn't in bed...or being awake when she sneaks into bed is another topic. lol
Keep in mind we don't live together, so being at my house would have been much better.
I take it as her way to be possessive while she is out having fun....with a bunch of guy friends from high school....*whew* that was a tough one for me to swallow and trust I must admit...I mean I know how 20 year old guys can be...
If you can't comprehend that, than oh well.
Re-read your post again..lol
1...she is NOT a good driver...in a VERY bad accident around the corner from my house to pick me up once
2...always getting harrassed by police late at night...and we all know how they can be...
3...I had never met these friends so they wouldn't have my number
4........doesn't happen anymore...but she is bad at communicating, or was...because it's her first relationship, so she can be very inconsiderate of time.
I like to communicate though...let's say she is out, and I know she is, and respect it. If I call or text to ask a simple question, say, "hey where is this?" etc....an answer would be nice. But it's like a person gets ignored on purpose.
Last edited by Hungry For Cheese; 02-03-2009 at 05:39 PM..
How come some women have this tendency to call their husbands/ BF's when the husbands/ BF's are out on a guys' night out/ poker night EVERY HOUR? And I mean EVERY HOUR? Why the incessant need to check up on them? Geez!
Insecurities, low self esteeme, boredom.....it is very sad
How come some women have this tendency to call their husbands/ BF's when the husbands/ BF's are out on a guys' night out/ poker night EVERY HOUR? And I mean EVERY HOUR? Why the incessant need to check up on them? Geez!
I would never call my hubby when he is out and he better never call me when I'm out.
If there is an emergency at home, then he can call. If I am coming home really late, then he should call to find out where I am. Other than that, I don't want to be bothered when I am out with my gf's and I don't bother him when he goes out. BUT...we trust each other.
playing devil's side here. Maybe at some point in the relationship/ marriage the husband/ bf has been less than faithful??? That could do it! But being in the totally self confident in my allure category ( okay the only category I like) I dont call if my man ( when I have one) is not around.. If he needs something he will call if not he is having a good time and that's all good. I would hate it if it was done to me!!
Karma
Here's another thought. I have a buddy whose wife is like this -- calls to check up on him all of the time and is always worries he's going to cheat. I asked him once if he ever cheated on her. Nope. Ever cheated on someone else and told her about it? Nope. Hmmm... she was just a little too possessive so I kept pushing. Has she ever cheated? Bingo! A light went on in his eyes when I asked that question. He said, yep. So here's my thought -- she thinks she knows all about how "women" are because she's a ho who doesn't mind stealing another women's seconds. One of the unfortunate side effects of being a bad person is it makes you suspicious of your fellow humans.
to the OP- A mature woman who is confident in her status doesn't call every hour. And vice versa. One of the wives I was friends with while my hubby was deployed this past year was the wife of my husband's truck commander. We went out every other Friday night to the bar where her hubby worked before he deployed. Not like she could do anything inappropriate there to begin with, right? Regardless, he called her every hour til around midnight, despite it being the wee hours of the morning in Iraq and him usually have only those few hours to sleep/shower/eat between missions. I am all for open communication, especially when seperated by 12k miles, but at some point you either have to, *shock* trust the person you married, or rectify the whole being married part */shock*
Women and men who do this are obsessive, they don't believe that marriage is about trust, they want to control. If they don't trust their spouse but still remain in a marriage, they have "issues" obviously.
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