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I agree that the friend sounds like a nut and not being friends with her anymore is probably the best idea. If you drop the "friend," though, I wouldn't continue to talk to the guy ... that's only going to make things worse.
Then, I'm wondering why your male friend went back together with this jealous woman, now that you told us that he had broken up with her once.
We have all wondered. He should be cannonized. I am by no means excusing her behavior. She is normally a wonderful gal with a huge heart. He fell in love with her for that very reason. And it is likely why he gave her a second chance.
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Originally Posted by nanita
Whatever she does with her time and in her relationship is her business and shouldn't concern you.
What she does with her time is her business, but that doesn't change the fact that she is a hypocrite. And her relationship becomes my business when she is sucking me into their issues.
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If she dislikes you talking to her man too much than she has that right. That is her and her man's problem, not yours.
She has the right to dislike anything and anyone she wants. That doesn't mean the world has to accomodate her.
Again, I never talked to him "too much". It was no more than anyone else who talked to him, male or female. She has a problem with me, and it's not because I am giving her reason. And it IS my problem, she has made it so.
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Originally Posted by nanita
If this is her friend than she should respect her friends feelings, as stupid as her friend is behaving. Its called loyalty.
I have never been disloyal. And I've already catered to her nonsense by making sure we were never alone, never too close together, and stepping away from the group for a while. I didn't have to do that, there was never a reason to. We did nothing wrong.
Loyalty does not ever entail allowing someone to lose control to the degree that it affects my friendships and my quality of life. Been there, done that. And it goes both ways. She's not thinking about how uncomfortable she makes me, or her man, or everyone else that has to witness her convulsions. She should also be respectful of the fact that he is also my friend. Should I be rude and not talk to him at all, ignore him?
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If she's not her friend than she should totally avoid the guy because of the drama, he can't be that good of a conversationalist. Find a new friend
No, I shouldn't have to avoid him because of the drama, he is not causing it. God forbid she should actually go get some counseling and resolve those issues than none of us created but are paying for. And yes, he is a consummate conversationalist and a dear friend to me. So this is difficult. It is totally absurd that I should feel the need to walk away from the entire bunch because of her insecurities. Still, I'm willing to do it. Like I said, they know where to find me.
I agree that the friend sounds like a nut and not being friends with her anymore is probably the best idea. If you drop the "friend," though, I wouldn't continue to talk to the guy ... that's only going to make things worse.
That's my dilemma, I guess I should have mentioned this earlier. Keep in mind that they are doing better. But he doesn't know what she did the other day. No one does. I have decided its best not to say anything to anyone because I dont want my best friend catching any flack for it. So it ends with me. Thus, my decision to just walk away from the group and allow the few I respect to just come to me. Problem is, her guy is one of those I respect.
He has done nothing wrong, and it would be very hurtful to him if I just cut him loose. At the same time, I don't want to put myself, or him, in a position to have to lie to her about staying in touch with me. I guess that would be his decision, but I would obviously be complicit. So if it came out, or she found out, it would REALLY look bad.
That's my dilemma, I guess I should have mentioned this earlier. Keep in mind that they are doing better. But he doesn't know what she did the other day. No one does. I have decided its best not to say anything to anyone because I dont want my best friend catching any flack for it. So it ends with me. Thus, my decision to just walk away from the group and allow the few I respect to just come to me. Problem is, her guy is one of those I respect.
He has done nothing wrong, and it would be very hurtful to him if I just cut him loose. At the same time, I don't want to put myself, or him, in a position to have to lie to her about staying in touch with me. I guess that would be his decision, but I would obviously be complicit. So if it came out, or she found out, it would REALLY look bad.
Can't you just tell him something like, "I've enjoyed being friends with you, Gary, but it's causing some drama and it would just be best for everyone if we didn't talk anymore"? I can't imagine that he doesn't know his girlfriend is so green-eyed about his friendship with you. He may even be relieved because he's been trying to figure out how to break up with you, friend-wise.
Can't you just tell him something like, "I've enjoyed being friends with you, Gary, but it's causing some drama and it would just be best for everyone if we didn't talk anymore"? I can't imagine that he doesn't know his girlfriend is so green-eyed about his friendship with you. He may even be relieved because he's been trying to figure out how to break up with you, friend-wise.
This is usually how an affair starts in the movies.....
This is usually how an affair starts in the movies.....
I agree. She is adamant about keeping this "friendship" so intact with this guy (someone else's boyfriend).....sounds like she likes him more than she's leading us (or herself) to believe.
I would avoid her like the plague! My X was jealous....never again! Jealousy is not healthy for any relationship. It is a sign of immaturity, lack of self confidence/low self esteem and is just not normal! Avoid her!
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
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Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
I guess I'm just venting, but I'm open to suggestions.
If I wanted to keep hanging out with the group, I'd get her alone and calmly, very matter of fact-ly tell her you feel some tension between the two of you and aren't sure where it's coming from, then ask what she thinks it's about.
I agree. She is adamant about keeping this "friendship" so intact with this guy (someone else's boyfriend).....sounds like she likes him more than she's leading us (or herself) to believe.
Yeah, that must be it.
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