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Old 02-11-2009, 01:06 AM
 
Location: Mableton, GA USA (NW Atlanta suburb, 4 miles OTP)
10,051 posts, read 16,049,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KWPN View Post
Seriously... I keep hearing this crap of "Nice guys finish last", where are they?
Where are you looking? Most of the "nice guys" I know weren't into the bar or club scene and really weren't all that socially active in general, so you'd have to run into them in places like grocery stores, book stores, and the like.

Of course, much depends on your definition of "nice".
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Old 02-11-2009, 01:07 AM
 
24 posts, read 81,519 times
Reputation: 19
Hey all, I'd like to chime in here. I haven't read the entirety of the thread as Im at work (shh), but I'd like to remark on what NVplumber said a couple pages back-
"We may be an endangered species but were a tough lot. Have to be. Just look a little closer, we are the ones that nobody notices much, sitting alone at a table staring into our drink, or playing with our dog out in the park, or maybe sitting alone on the river bank with a fishing pole just staring out over the water. We "nice" guys don't care much about being noticed or being the center of attention. So ya just have to look a little harder to find us. But rest assured, we ARE there."

I feel this is very well said, and due to the fact that we feel no need for that golden recognition and limelight adoration, and indeed going through life has made many of "us" quite jaded to one degree or another, perhaps women ought to consider starting a conversation with US for once. Although I was raised and adheer to a group of principles- honesty, courtesy, chivalry, the process of life has jaded me considerably, specially on the chivalry note( that s***'s just confusing these days). But as a wise man once said- "the clearer the vision, the more you wish you were blind".
But as far as being "what women want", the stereotype of a dominant, alph-type male shouldering his way through a crowd has always struck me as thoroughly redundant, even demeening, as to what I've come to feel "growth" should mean. Im more than capable of defending myself and my loved ones without hesitation, but by no means seek out confrontations. ...Lol, could really ramble on and on about all this, but it comes down to (for me) the big-picture understanding that what we all understand to be "adulthood", I've come to consider a state of stunted growth.
All that said, the best places to find a "nice" guy, by which I understand to mean a reflective, intelligent, and pro-active man, are not by majority going to be sports bars, football games, or clubs. Try spoken word/poetry reading, libraries, comedy clubs, cafe's, ect. There's more, but we grasp the deliniation, yes?
I do realize I've gone a bit off-topic, and appologize for the stray. Cheers all.

Last edited by scarlet_letterman; 02-11-2009 at 01:14 AM.. Reason: grammarnazi
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Old 02-11-2009, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
6,026 posts, read 8,783,778 times
Reputation: 5866
Quote:
Originally Posted by jinglebell View Post
Someone who is capable of caring and giving
Not many though
It seems everyone is summing up a nice guy as the human form of a labrador retriever.

I'm more of a German Shepherd. Faithful, loyal, good with kids, family protector, workaholic.. But I will fight like hell when the need arises.

Maybe that's why my wife likes me, she's 100% German!

(And I've noticed at 40 my hips hurt a bit, maybe I need to be on the lookout look out for dysplasia)
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Old 02-11-2009, 07:56 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,771,975 times
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Sorry, There are nice guys who go to clubs and bars. They may be good friends with that guy who is drunk and acting a fool, who has no qualms about walking up to any woman and kick game. Since that good friend is the one who most likely will be noticed, a woman may miss his more subdued friend, who may be this way only because he's cool, and that's not his style.

Nice guys do the same things that bad guys do. I don't know why everyone's suggesting church or libraries to meet a nice guy. Nice guy doesn't equate to boring. Ladies, if you want a nice guy, keep your mind open to potential guys you meet in all situations. Don't quickly fall for the outgoing charmer when his more reserved friend might be what's perfect for you.
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:03 AM
 
12,016 posts, read 18,442,917 times
Reputation: 3557
Default someone here

a few weeks ago (a woman) said that nice guys and bad guys have something in common: they are angry and have issues with women, except the nice guy represses it and the bad guy does not. I agree with this
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, Fl
835 posts, read 1,172,534 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl View Post
a few weeks ago (a woman) said that nice guys and bad guys have something in common: they are angry and have issues with women, except the nice guy represses it and the bad guy does not. I agree with this
All guys are angry and have issues with women? C'mon ........
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 1,400,748 times
Reputation: 397
So, really, have we defined what a "Nice Guy" is in this thread? I keep coming back to the nice guy=lack of confidence.
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,728 posts, read 5,021,859 times
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Believe me, I look in those places. I don't hang out in bars. Usually the guys in sportsbars are a step-up from the regular bar scene.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rcsteiner View Post
Where are you looking? Most of the "nice guys" I know weren't into the bar or club scene and really weren't all that socially active in general, so you'd have to run into them in places like grocery stores, book stores, and the like.

Of course, much depends on your definition of "nice".
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:32 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
23,140 posts, read 22,344,173 times
Reputation: 34320
Default Just wondering

Having been out of the dating scene for so long, I wonder how many of the lonely, jaded single guys are only pursuing the hot alpha females. For those of you guys who seem to think that women are shallow, grasping harpies who like to be treated like dirt, do you give the plain girls a second look? Did any of you participate in that recent thread about women’s so-called ideal weight, making little comments about hippos and heifers and how chunky girls are not good enough for you? Are you angry because some gorgeous woman won’t give you the time of day but think you don’t need to stoop to dating someone with average looks?

Like I said, I haven’t dated in a long time, and I avoid pickup scenes like the plague, so I don’t know. What I do see is a lot of people who say there’s no one out there, and none of them seem to be able to see one another.

Last edited by JustJulia; 02-11-2009 at 08:32 AM.. Reason: Stupid formatting!
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,771,975 times
Reputation: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl View Post
a few weeks ago (a woman) said that nice guys and bad guys have something in common: they are angry and have issues with women, except the nice guy represses it and the bad guy does not. I agree with this

So there is a medium of emotionally balanced men out there who aren't necessarily bad boys or nice guys. That should solve it.
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