Friends With Benefits (dating, woman, attracted, sex)

[Threerun]

Well my best friend sure did come with benefits. He was a contractor so I could borrow a lot of tools, he'd come down and help me do things like install wood floors, frame up a room in the basement, get on the roof and patch some shingles.. Of course he could use my tractor and implements and stuff too, so it was a great relationship.

But somehow I'm sensing that this isn't the crux of the thread here... so, ummm.. No- Brian and I never.. um, did the deed.. Well, there was one time when he hugged me, but that's about it..

And that was kinda nice. In a weird sorta way.

Mmkay. Bye.

[ndiggity]

Originally Posted by 2mares

It worked for me in college. I didnt have time for a draining relationship with working 2 jobs and keeping up my GPA so I had several, some at the same time. After graduation we all went our seperate ways. Then I got serious with one guy, got married. Man did that suck. Wish I kept up the FWB thing.

good job i know how you feel

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by dave nz

But it does work, you both get what you want and then move on.

Well, didn't you just say for how long it worked - 2 weeks...? To me that's a little prolonged one-night stand. We're talking about long-term basis.

[lionking]

Had one until recently,looking for another.....

[dave nz]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Well, didn't you just say for how long it worked - 2 weeks...? To me that's a little prolonged one-night stand. We're talking about long-term basis.

2 weeks is a long term basis for FWB's in my book

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by lionking

Had one until recently,looking for another.....

That'd be a good time to enlighten us as to the reasons it didn't continue!

[2mares]

2 weeks is a long term basis for FWB's in my book

Thats long term? Do your one night stands actually last one night? Or more like one minute? Just kidding.


My FWBs lasted from a few months to a few years. I think duration is the key to making it work. If the relationship continues too long and is more or less exclusive, it is bound to become more than FWB. You have to know when to fold.

[dave nz]

Originally Posted by 2mares

Thats long term? Do your one night stands actually last one night? Or more like one minute? Just kidding.


My FWBs lasted from a few months to a few years. I think duration is the key to making it work. If the relationship continues too long and is more or less exclusive, it is bound to become more than FWB. You have to know when to fold.

Wow a few years? what do you think were the key/s you had in place so that neither of you became too attached?

[PassTheChocolate]

I don't think it's supposed to "work" or "last". It just is, without even saying it.

I haven't had one in a long time, but I have had a couple. I'd go so far as to say that it could happen again with either one of them. We're great friends and there's nothing awkward about it. Nothing ever changed, things didn't get weird and there were no expectations. At the same time there was nothing casual about it, like a one night stand. These are men I care about, I respect them and they respect me. We may not be in love, but there is a comfort level that allows us to share with one another in this way. Not sure if that makes sense, but that's how it works for me.

I could do with one of them beneficent mens now. It would be perfect for me at this point in my life. But, alas, there is no one in my life right now that would be suitable for the position. No pun intented.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

These are men I care about, I respect them and they respect me. We may not be in love, but there is a comfort level that allows us to share with one another in this way. Not sure if that makes sense, but that's how it works for me.

Which is the missing ingredient that disqualifies them from being a relationship material then? Because comfort and respect is quite a bit (and I assume the attraction is enough) and you don't find it every day these days... Or did you just not care for a relationship at the time?