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View Poll Results: Can you have a healthy marriage without sex
Male -- No 54 30.51%
Male-- Yes 14 7.91%
Female -- No 76 42.94%
Female -- Yes 33 18.64%
Voters: 177. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-16-2009, 08:05 AM
 
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I don't think there is a problem with taking breaks from time to time--i.e. to deal with health issues, to heal after a loss or trauma, to get through a work crunch, to focus one's energy on spiritual practices or artistic projects, etc. Sex should never be forced or mandated, but a marriage with no sex whatsoever is in trouble, imo.
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,220,991 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenn02674 View Post
I think that in a normal, healthy couple with no physical or medical limitations sex is a very important and necessariy part of a marriage or committment. So I voted no you can't have a healthy marriage without sex. I recognize that there are some medical reasons where sex is not possible like as you get older or if you are paralyzed and just can't do it but those are exceptions, not the rule.

I think that if you are healthy and you just aren't attracted to each other that way, even if it is agreeable with both parties, then to me that isn't a "healthy" marriage. It is more like committed friends or for convenience. If a person doesn't want sex at all, as in ever (not as in you just don't want it as much as another person might want it), then you aren't healthy - might be a blood pressure issue, or diabetes, or a medication you are on or for any other unknown medical issue. But a healthy human being should want some sex at least sometimes - male or female!

I don't think it is a mandatory requirement. I don't think you should have sex just because you are married. I do think you should consult your doctor for not having a sex drive if you don't know why you don't have a sex drive.

I also think that there are plenty of people that don't have sex drives that don't try to figure out why and if their partner has no sex drive then they just live with it. But again, that is because there is an underlying medical reason that they have just learned to deal with, IMO.

Sorry to be so confusing. It is difficult to explain. Hope there is at least one person out there that understands what I am trying to say!
So the only way to have a sex-less healthy marriage is if the couple has no choice whether or not they have sex? A couple can't choose to simply have companionship and have their relationship considered healthy?
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Fort Mill, SC
1,105 posts, read 4,092,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
I
Again the implication that a lower sex drive is wrong, broken, something to be fixed and if you don't try to figure it out then its wrong.
Why? There is always a continuum in everything. That a lot of people love sex is reasonably bounded by people who aren't as interested, the ol' bell curve - and they aren't broke! That's just the way they were born. Why is
That is why I said ANY sort of a sex drive not a LOWER sex drive which is what the original poster asked. Yes there will be differences between people with how often they want it but to never, ever want sex? No that is not heathy or normal. I think it is an unhealthy as a person that doesn't like to eat, as in ever! People may not care enough to figure out the reasons why but that is a different question.
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,220,991 times
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Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
Well at the risk of outing myself - I've had a lot of sex that wasn't intimacy. I'm not sure sex is intimacy frankly.
That's because society's new sexual rules have separated the act from the feeling. Today's attitude is that sex is purely reactional. The first time you have sex with someone you love, you'll understand the difference and be appalled by the attitude that sex is just recreational.
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Fort Mill, SC
1,105 posts, read 4,092,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
So the only way to have a sex-less healthy marriage is if the couple has no choice whether or not they have sex? A couple can't choose to simply have companionship and have their relationship considered healthy?
Of course a couple can just choose to have just companionship if they want. Some people might want an open marriage but that's not really a "marriage" in the context of what the OP is asking about. Like I said before, you might have the piece of paper and you might be content living like that but if you don't want sex with anyone, ever then there is something physically or mentally wrong or maybe you just aren't attracted to your partner that way so that wouldn't be healthy. I get the feeling the OP is not looking to go have sex with someone else.

People can do whatever they want though.
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,220,991 times
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Why does there have to be something wrong with someone or a couple who chooses with no medical limitations? The psychological world has admitted there ia no such thing as "normal". Just because you wouldn't be comfortable in a marriage without sex unless a gun was held to your head doesn't mean that others have to subscribe to that same comfort level. But since it has been decided that there is something "wrong" with people who are perfectly happy with a nonsexual marriage. How much sex is a couple required to have to be deemed "healthy"? -- Wait don't answer here new thread coming!
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
1,113 posts, read 2,208,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Indi9 View Post
I don't think there is a problem with taking breaks from time to time--i.e. to deal with health issues, to heal after a loss or trauma, to get through a work crunch, to focus one's energy on spiritual practices or artistic projects, etc. Sex should never be forced or mandated, but a marriage with no sex whatsoever is in trouble, imo.
I don't agree. My parents had a great relationship without sex. Lot's of people do.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:51 AM
 
456 posts, read 1,217,368 times
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I'm sure there are always exceptions, and that it is fine to agree to disagree.
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Old 02-21-2009, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
1,113 posts, read 2,208,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CometVoyager View Post
Marriage is all about heterosexuals having sex. If you get married and have sex, procreate and raise kids you have consummated a marriage.

Once you are too old or sick to have sex, you usually will die soon.
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 13,744,890 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
That's because society's new sexual rules have separated the act from the feeling. Today's attitude is that sex is purely reactional. The first time you have sex with someone you love, you'll understand the difference and be appalled by the attitude that sex is just recreational.
I agree. Sad. Sad. Sad.
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