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View Poll Results: Can you have a healthy marriage without sex
Male -- No 54 30.51%
Male-- Yes 14 7.91%
Female -- No 76 42.94%
Female -- Yes 33 18.64%
Voters: 177. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-15-2009, 10:27 AM
 
7,801 posts, read 10,968,262 times
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If your not into sex - something is wrong with you according to a recent Newsweek article, shows like the new "The Doctor" etc. If your not that into sex - everyone thinks you need to be fixed. Seems like everyday I see the message - you need to want sex, be having sex, your marriage needs sex.
So apparently.......no. If you have a marriage without sex you are broken.
Personally I have to take that on faith, but its certainly even more than generally accepted.
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Old 02-15-2009, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
10,652 posts, read 14,303,737 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Public_Newsense View Post
That's the only way it can work.
No it's not.

I didn't marry my wife with conditions, such as sex is a mandatory 'requirement'. Marriage is, by vow- a union of persons, not body parts. At least that's the case in most Christian based marriages.

I really wonder if anyone has really taken the time to study what it is you are signing up for when you get married. If sex, to you, is a crucial element of your healthy union with a spouse, then you might as well create your own vows.
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 13,595,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Threerun View Post
No it's not.

I didn't marry my wife with conditions, such as sex is a mandatory 'requirement'. Marriage is, by vow- a union of persons, not body parts. At least that's the case in most Christian based marriages.
Yes, but Christianity also views sex as something special that should be saved for marriage and that is to be shared with your spouse. Which at the bare minimum shows that sex is intended to be a part of marriage.
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Mountain View, CA
1,152 posts, read 2,756,808 times
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I said no, of course. I think sex is a hugely important part of marriage. That being said, sometimes there are health reasons or other issues where sex is not possible. I do not, in that case, think a marriage is doomed to fail. That being said, the idea that intimacy is important does not change. If in the health situation where sex is impossible, there are other means of intimacy that should be looked to... or thought up!
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Fort Mill, SC
1,105 posts, read 4,066,037 times
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I think that in a normal, healthy couple with no physical or medical limitations sex is a very important and necessariy part of a marriage or committment. So I voted no you can't have a healthy marriage without sex. I recognize that there are some medical reasons where sex is not possible like as you get older or if you are paralyzed and just can't do it but those are exceptions, not the rule.

I think that if you are healthy and you just aren't attracted to each other that way, even if it is agreeable with both parties, then to me that isn't a "healthy" marriage. It is more like committed friends or for convenience. If a person doesn't want sex at all, as in ever (not as in you just don't want it as much as another person might want it), then you aren't healthy - might be a blood pressure issue, or diabetes, or a medication you are on or for any other unknown medical issue. But a healthy human being should want some sex at least sometimes - male or female!

I don't think it is a mandatory requirement. I don't think you should have sex just because you are married. I do think you should consult your doctor for not having a sex drive if you don't know why you don't have a sex drive.

I also think that there are plenty of people that don't have sex drives that don't try to figure out why and if their partner has no sex drive then they just live with it. But again, that is because there is an underlying medical reason that they have just learned to deal with, IMO.

Sorry to be so confusing. It is difficult to explain. Hope there is at least one person out there that understands what I am trying to say!
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Old 02-15-2009, 12:54 PM
 
7,801 posts, read 10,968,262 times
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Well at the risk of outing myself - I've had a lot of sex that wasn't intimacy. I'm not sure sex is intimacy frankly.
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Old 02-15-2009, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
10,652 posts, read 14,303,737 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
Yes, but Christianity also views sex as something special that should be saved for marriage and that is to be shared with your spouse. Which at the bare minimum shows that sex is intended to be a part of marriage.
Sure- it is a reason for annulment, however to say a you cannot have a marriage w/out sex is simply untrue.

I could not abandon my wife if she could not 'have sex' for whatever reason, and I know she would not abandon me if the opposite were true.

If you go into a marriage with a condition that 'sex' is a mandatory requirement, then you are entering into something other than marriage, in the traditional sense.
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Old 02-15-2009, 02:19 PM
 
7 posts, read 13,716 times
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I'm 55...that's not really old. Surgery for cancer took my ability to have sex away. While it's tough to live without it and I'm still grieving for the loss....my marriage is sound. JackMN
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Old 02-15-2009, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 1,783,817 times
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FWIW, I asked my wife and she said a definitive "no way!!" .....at least under normal circumstances,
but agreed that, if there was something wrong medically, or health-wise, then that would be understandable.
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Old 02-15-2009, 05:27 PM
 
370 posts, read 876,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
I am sure that most all men will agree. A few women may disagree, but I have no idea why. I wish my wife would realize this.

Poll added.
There is no way I could have a healthy marriage without sex. It is the best part I think. There is nothing more enjoyable or that feels better on the planet. Thank God my husband enjoys sex as much as I do because I do not know what I would do. Sometimes I get worried that as we get older (we are 41) that he may not want to do it as much but I sure hope not. If someone gets disabled or something there are still other things you can do as a couple to stay intimate. There are many forms of sexual activity.
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