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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Do you have any traits that have threatened possible relationships, friendship or romantic? If so, did you successfully change it and if so, how?
Mine is shyness. It seems to repel people. I can get a handle on it in business/work situations b'c it's short-term contact with people. But in my personal life, I can't seem to get a handle on it. It feels like a wall of sorts and people sense it. I've pretty much given up on a personal life as a result.
My faking confidence tactics have turned into real confidence in work situations but I can't get it to work in personal situations b'c it's not the real me. But then, it wasn't the real me in work til I practiced. I just don't know how to do it outside of business.
On the other hand, if people gave me a chance to get past the shyness they'd see me open up and be who I am inside. The best compliment I ever had was when someone told me, "Getting to know you was hard but it was well worth it".
I will shoot from the hip (Which shouldn't be a big surprise on this board). However, I have gotten a lot more circumspect about it over time.
In business, I am very much a procrastinator. I will like to think about something a great deal, walk away from it, come back to it, etc. etc., rather than push through and get it done. I don't miss deadlines, but there have been some times when a client or two have been made really nervous.
It has helped and hindered at times, both personally and professionally. One of my old bosses nicknamed me 'Cubby', as in the Cub Scout because I always 'told it like it is'. If he was trying to delicately explain something (window dress a problem) to the president, often times the pres would call me in and "So what's the straight dope".. It lead to some confrontations with my boss at times...
Also like if the wife says "How do I look in this?" I am more apt to tell her the blunt truth if she looks bad or good. And that can certainly lead to bad things..
I've had to learn to temper my responses, which at times causes me much frustration.
I have the same issue with shyness. I too have been told it seems I have a "wall up". I'm like a turtle...I'm not coming out of my shell until I know it is safe.
People misinterpret shyness as unfriendly, boring, cold, rude, etc.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threerun
Honest to a fault.
It has helped and hindered at times, both personally and professionally. One of my old bosses nicknamed me 'Cubby', as in the Cub Scout because I always 'told it like it is'. If he was trying to delicately explain something (window dress a problem) to the president, often times the pres would call me in and "So what's the straight dope".. It lead to some confrontations with my boss at times...
Also like if the wife says "How do I look in this?" I am more apt to tell her the blunt truth if she looks bad or good. And that can certainly lead to bad things..
I've had to learn to temper my responses, which at times causes me much frustration.
You've been on too many job interviews: What's your weakness? "I'm a perfectionist". LOL
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple
I have the same issue with shyness. I took have been told it seems I have a "wall up". I'm like a turtle...I'm not coming out of my shell until I know it is safe. People misinterpret shyness as unfriendly, boring, cold, rude, etc.
Exactly. And I've seen people who claim to be an 'excellent judge of character' do this too.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
I will shoot from the hip (Which shouldn't be a big surprise on this board). However, I have gotten a lot more circumspect about it over time.
In business, I am very much a procrastinator. I will like to think about something a great deal, walk away from it, come back to it, etc. etc., rather than push through and get it done. I don't miss deadlines, but there have been some times when a client or two have been made really nervous.
But if you've always been that way, you must have a reputation for being Ol' Reliable for always coming through. There's nothing wrong with the way you do it, imo. You probably rarely make mistakes as a result.
Ha-ha, this thread's funny so far. Reminds me of a job interview. Everybody comes up with minor negatives that are actually positives in disguise!
On a more serious note, as an only child I don't share very well and like to get my way (sheesh, who doesn't really...). That's compensated quite a bit with generosity in many other ways, though (hey, just following the trend ). Oh, yeah, I'm also stubborn, but that's an offshoot of the previous confession.
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). That's compensated quite a bit with generosity in many other ways, though (hey, just following the trend 
). Oh, yeah, I'm also stubborn, but that's an offshoot of the previous confession.
