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A father can (and should) "love you that way". IMO
Yes you are 100% right and respect to fathers who do, especially the single dads, but seems to me when the chips are down it's mama who is the last one standing. The documentary mentions her dad and sister being there for her, but mama does all the leg work. I'm not trying to take away anything from dads. My dad was pretty special when he was alive, but it's my mum who was always there no matter what. Not sure if you were able to watch it, as there maybe a restriction since it from a UK channel.
44 and 42. No kids. Not planning on having any. Have talked to a few people (not too many) that would love the freedom.
It isn't worth it. The love and attachment you have, back and forth, with your children must be unbelievable. I can only compare it to having a dog when I was in my teens and twenties, and I thought that was great. Can, but can't imagine the attachment to a child.
Feel free to add any comments, wheather you have children or don't and are not planning to.
Believe me, after you have to bail your kid out jail a couple of times, or *god forbid" bury one, the attachment isn't so wonderful, I would bet.
I am blissfully childfree - by choice - literally. The prospect never appealed to me at all. Being responsible for another human being for 18 long, tortureous years? No thanks. I like peace and quiet in my house. I like to sleep late when I can. I like to go on vacations at the drop of a hat. I like to have items in my house which are breakable. I like to eat when I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep, run around the house naked.
A father can (and should) "love you that way". IMO
Hardly.
Genetically men are NOT predisposed to have an attachement to the results of a momentary sexual encounter. It is completely different to have carried a baby for 9 long months. Have this baby come OUT OF YOUR BODY, and breast feed it.
Men will never have the innate attachement to a child that a woman does. If appearances indicate otherwise, it is a learned behavior, presumably based on cultural pressures. It has nothing to do with nature.
It's been a bit of a battle for us to get our family to accept our CF life. Some people just can't get it through their heads that "no - having kids just doesn't interest us"; "yes, your kids are cute. still ain't havin' any". I had one fatuous niece, newly married into my husband's family and with a 6-week-old, corner me multiple times at a birthday party for my mother-in-law:
"Isn't she just the cyoootest! Doesn't she make you want one of your own?"
Me: "Yes, she's a cute baby. I'm sure you must be very proud. But, no, we aren't having any kids. Excuse me." <get up and escape to another part of the house only to have her accost me again>
"Well, I just don't understand; you just don't know how much love a baby can bring to your life!"
Me: <giving her the hairy eyeball. as far as I'm concerned, my mate is the love of my life. this squishy thing she keeps waving in my face rates very low on the Love 'O Meter to me> "Nope (attempt a friendly laugh), I'm almost 40; Dh had a vasectomy as a wedding present. The baby factory has been permanently closed!"
Outraged look from niece as she parks the kid on one hip and ***** her hand to the other. "Well, that's just ridiculous! How could you know that you didn't want kids?! People do change their minds you know!"
By this time, I'm getting pissed. We did not drive 750 miles, incur the expenses of a hotel, and acknowledge the prospect of spending four days with my MIL (who happens to be The World's Yappiest Person), only to have this twerp with baby rabies keep shoving her kid in my face and disrespect my childfree orientation. I advised Mrs Baby Rabies to put her kid down. When she huffed and asked why, I told her that, regardless of the fact that she looked like she has about 70 extra pounds of baby weight to lose, I was going to knock her across the room if she didn't shut her yap. As she stood with her mouth agape, I got up and brushed past her, giving her the full force of a Death Glare.
She left me alone the rest of the day, but I did hear that she was telling everyone about Aunt Silverwing:<dun dun DUN!!> the child hater! I also heard that my favorite aunt-in-law (whom I dearly wished had been my MIL instead of MIL Yappy) heard the complaint, took a long drag on her cigarette, blew it out, and drawled "well, we tried to tell you. I guess that'll learn ya to not mess with your Aunt Silverwing. When she says she doesn't want kids, she means she doesn't want kids."
"Baby Rabies"...I am so stealing that!!! Absolutely hysterical. I'm happy I decided to have kids, but felt your rage when we were pestered by relatives before we had kids. I wanted to enjoy my time alone with my husband before we jumped into kid-dom. My one BIL was relentless with the, "when you gonna have kids...you need to have your own..." and always after he got done yelling at my nephews for something. I always answered, "why so I can do that all day long like you?" I totally respect when people don't want kids. It is nice though, that you don't put others down for having kids. You may think they're crazy, but you acknowledged that your niece's baby was cute and didn't say, "get that poop factory out of my face." I don't like when I meet people who are kid-free by choice and then try to make me feel like a ******* because I decided I wanted them.
To the OP...I'm sorry you feel like you missed out on something. Sometimes it would be so useful to have a way to KNOW if you are making the right decision when you make. I hope you have nieces and nephews that you get to spoil at least.
Genetically men are NOT predisposed to have an attachement to the results of a momentary sexual encounter. It is completely different to have carried a baby for 9 long months. Have this baby come OUT OF YOUR BODY, and breast feed it.
How do you say you are blissfully kid free, and then can speak to what it's like to carry a baby and what a man is capable of as a father? Until you make a man a father...you can't know the love a father is capable of having for his child-"genetically predisposed" or not. Your choice is your choice~that's cool...but you shouldn't try to knock a guy down because he prides himself on being a good dad.
Believe me, after you have to bail your kid out jail a couple of times, or *god forbid" bury one, the attachment isn't so wonderful, I would bet.
I am blissfully childfree - by choice - literally. The prospect never appealed to me at all. Being responsible for another human being for 18 long, tortureous years? No thanks. I like peace and quiet in my house. I like to sleep late when I can. I like to go on vacations at the drop of a hat. I like to have items in my house which are breakable. I like to eat when I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep, run around the house naked.
20yrsinBranson
Another blissfully happy childfree by choice person here. I always had people telling me how I would change my mind and have children... but I never have and am so glad I did not. I see people with kids and I think, better them than me . Best choice I ever made and I am glad I didn't let societal pressure get to me...
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The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau
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. Best choice I ever made and I am glad I didn't let societal pressure get to me...
