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Old 02-25-2009, 05:30 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,409 posts, read 11,984,057 times
Reputation: 2264

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well i wasnt directing the comment at you. but since you think it was. you are free to respond in any way you would like.

my point was that a comment is just a comment. dont try to read anymore into it. you only confuse yourself.

if someone says you look good, dont question your other attributes that were not mentioned.

again, lets flip this. just because i say someone is smart, that dont mean that i think they are ugly. it just means i think they are smart. and if i say someone is kind, that done mean they are poor. it just means they are kind.

dont overanalyze things.

some guys REALLY are as cookoo as some girls.
some not all. when we generalize we lose the strength of our argument. we cant say all. we say some. and we leave room to disagree.


Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
In all of these cases, I know the people that made the comments fairly well. There seems to be little, if any, romance. I'm making a comment based on what I see here. That's what we all do on C&G.

How am I insecure by pointing this out? I don't find their wives/significant others interesting or attractive and wouldn't have considered them.

Maybe your insecurities are piqued because so many people are in "shells" of relationships/marriages? I observe stuff and call it. That's what I see in my friends - no apologies.

Last edited by the one; 02-25-2009 at 06:39 PM..
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:50 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 13,159,208 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
In all of these cases, I know the people that made the comments fairly well. There seems to be little, if any, romance. I'm making a comment based on what I see here. That's what we all do on C&G.

How am I insecure by pointing this out? I don't find their wives/significant others interesting or attractive and wouldn't have considered them.

Maybe your insecurities are piqued because so many people are in "shells" of relationships/marriages? I observe stuff and call it. That's what I see in my friends - no apologies.
Robert you're giving additional information now, nothing wrong with that, but based on what you said in your OP many of us are saying we would be looking for more information before we "call" it. And as a straight up comment about a SO with no additional information about the couple in question I wouldn't be assuming anything about their relationship and how they feel about each other.
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Old 02-25-2009, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 14,332,975 times
Reputation: 3768
There are people who are private about thier love lives and just because they don't perform PDA's and refer to each other's positive personality traits doesn't mean there's no romance. The yjust keep their romance private.
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:09 PM
 
1,961 posts, read 4,099,463 times
Reputation: 2770
Personally, I feel the opposite would be more troubling. IMO, if someone has to talk all the time about how HOT their SO is to others, then they probably are really insecure.

You robert, seem in quite a few posts to be very focussed on physical appearance/attraction as the #1 value in relationships.

If I found out that my husband had been telling friends and coworkers that I am remarkable, I would be happy and proud. I would also prefer him to tell his friends that I am a kick-a$$ biker or skier, and he loves doing those activities with me, than for him to tell his friends I am hot. I know he feels I am hot because of the way he looks at me. It's silly to have to validate that by saying it constantly in conversations.
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Old 02-26-2009, 03:05 PM
 
14,743 posts, read 31,257,079 times
Reputation: 8868
Quote:
Originally Posted by easternerDC View Post
Personally, I feel the opposite would be more troubling. IMO, if someone has to talk all the time about how HOT their SO is to others, then they probably are really insecure.

You robert, seem in quite a few posts to be very focussed on physical appearance/attraction as the #1 value in relationships.
About the 1st bold: yes, I would find this even more troubling, but since most of the people I know are 40+, educated, suburbanites, the HOT comment just doesn't come up.

About the 2nd bold: Not at all, brains are first with me. However, I like "equality" in the level of appearance. I'm above average but far from noteworthy, from the feedback I get, and don't like it when someone who has quite the caboose hits on me...and keeps on hitting on me.

Last edited by robertpolyglot; 02-26-2009 at 03:57 PM..
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Old 02-26-2009, 04:54 PM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,523,717 times
Reputation: 46371
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heiwos View Post
A friend of mine has never complimented his wife more than just "I respect her a lot". Which irks me, because his wife is among the most fantastic women I've met. They teetered on the edge of divorce for years, but then had a child and now look like most married couples. Rather than "augur in", I think they'll be married indefinitely. Kinda sad, but that's common reality.
Until he snaps, buys a sports car, and carries on with his administrative assistant. And nobody will have seen it coming. Or she can't handle a sterile, loveless marriage anymore and starts playing kielbasa rodeo with the yardman, or stands up at Thanksgiving and says, "I can't live a lie anymore," and marches out to live in Reno with some guy she met over the internet.

Basically the whole point of the post is about damning your spouse with faint praise.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,091 posts, read 14,175,842 times
Reputation: 3932
Hell,I've had current's and ex's shoot at me,try to run over me,stole my truck,cut up a motorcycle seats,saddles and cowboy boots,break the windows out of my house,throw full beer bottles at my head,break my guitars and kick holes in my amp speakers and a myriad of other not so nice things.

Some of you guys don't know when you have it good sometimes....If I were someone else and the worse one ever said to or about me was "He's a good man" then I'd quit whining about it pretty dang fast.Some folks need to grow up and I need a bullet/stab proof vest.
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Old 03-01-2009, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 83,822,739 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I started this thread, because these comments, complete with their inflection and delivery, were very clinical. They conveyed no affection.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I think on some level people might say these sorts of things because they subconsciously think that they could do better and want people to know that they settled.
I agree. I find these statements very sad and they do imply settling. I'd never wanna hear them describing me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
From what I understand, you can get along with most, but probably have the least tolerance towards someone who is too much of a perceiver/feeler (FPs).
That's probably right. I'm INFJ and usually don't relate much to either one of you and I don't think we can "click" in real life. No offense, but both of you are way too pragmatic and cold for me.
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 3,809,308 times
Reputation: 829
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post

That's probably right. I'm INFJ and usually don't relate much to either one of you and I don't think we can "click" in real life. No offense, but both of you are way too pragmatic and cold for me.
I guess can see the FJ in you. You do have this side that will coo at the sight of a baby, but quick to draw a conclusion about something lol. It's cool. I don't expect everyone to get along all the time. As long as you don't try to take my JW, you're alright with me LOL
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Old 03-01-2009, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 83,822,739 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
I guess can see the FJ in you. You do have this side that will coo at the sight of a baby, but quick to draw a conclusion about something lol. It's cool. I don't expect everyone to get along all the time. As long as you don't try to take my JW, you're alright with me LOL
That I may very well do since I'm also a fan!
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