Reporting a stalker - what would you do? (females, therapy, young) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 10 - City-Data Forum

Threerun · 03-01-2009, 06:24 PM

It proves RO's are handed out w/out conviction, and I know of a few that happened like that.

Sorry to bust your bubble sweetheart, but women are nutzz too.

afoigrokerkok · 03-01-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CESpeed

Thank you for making my point. A RESTRAINING ORDER REQUIRES A COURT HEARING AND PROOF! it is not he said/she said. Yes TROs are handed out easily but not full-on ROs.

ROs are very serious. And anyone who would violate one is dangerous. Don't believe me? Ask the dozens of women who have been killed by men who vioploated ROs. Oh wait, can't their DEAD.

RO's require proof by a preponderance of the evidence....not beyond a reasonable doubt. RO's are handed out like candy in some places. They are frequently given based solely on the word of the "victim" and nothign more.

CESpeed · 03-01-2009, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok

RO's require proof by a preponderance of the evidence....not beyond a reasonable doubt. RO's are handed out like candy in some places. They are frequently given based solely on the word of the "victim" and nothign more.

People who have this type fairytale land mentality are exactly why abusers, stalkers and rapists get away with their actions. There is a difference between and a TEMPORARY Restraining Order (handed out like candy) and a RESTRAINING Order (issued after court hearing).

afoigrokerkok · 03-01-2009, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CESpeed

People who have this type fairytale land mentality are exactly why abusers, stalkers and rapists get away with their actions. There is a difference between and a TEMPORARY Restraining Order (handed out like candy) and a RESTRAINING Order (issued after court hearing).

There are lots of differences on this between states actually. Maybe where you live RO's are a bigger deal.

Threerun · 03-01-2009, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CESpeed

People who have this type fairytale land mentality are exactly why abusers, stalkers and rapists get away with their actions. There is a difference between and a TEMPORARY Restraining Order (handed out like candy) and a RESTRAINING Order (issued after court hearing).

My sister had a full RO placed out against my bro-in-law, and he did nothing wrong, except try to discipline their son who was out of control.

She had two friends go into the magistrate and confess that he was raising his voice and 'bam'- full RO issued. He had to move out, until such time as she felt it was 'o-k'.

No fairytale. It happens, without a preponderance of evidence.

Sorry- but come back with something else, mmkay? Judge lest you be judged? Ring a bell?

afoigrokerkok · 03-01-2009, 07:15 PM

In my state I know the judge automatically issues one upon arrest for a DV offense at the same time they set bail. No trial, no hearing with the "victim" present, just the cop making an arrest. (And we have mandatory arrest policies that require cops to make arrests when there's any probable cause that a DV offense has been committed....obviously including the "victim" saying it's been committed)

I've also heard of them being issued during "hearings" where the accused person didn't even get a chance to appear and ONLY the "victim" was present.

afoigrokerkok · 03-01-2009, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CESpeed

People who have this type fairytale land mentality are exactly why abusers, stalkers and rapists get away with their actions. There is a difference between and a TEMPORARY Restraining Order (handed out like candy) and a RESTRAINING Order (issued after court hearing).

Also the fact that someone doesn't have a penis doesn't make them trustworthy. And the fact that someone does have one doesn't make them some terrible violent abuser.

miu · 03-01-2009, 07:54 PM

It's not a big deal to get a full RO in MA. And it can be only one person's word against another's. It's the judge saying, "okay... both of you don't play well with each other, so you both now have to keep a distance from each other, next case... " The judge doesn't even care to hear both sides in detail and it's not his job to decide who is wrong and who is right in the conflict. The judge just wants the people involved to avoid each other, chill out and not to have the police involved later on.

PassTheChocolate · 03-01-2009, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miu

It's not a big deal to get a full RO in MA. And it can be only one person's word against another's. It's the judge saying, "okay... both of you don't play well with each other, so you both now have to keep a distance from each other, next case... " The judge doesn't even care to hear both sides in detail and it's not his job to decide who is wrong and who is right in the conflict. The judge just wants the people involved to avoid each other, chill out and not to have the police involved later on.

If that is actually the case, the state of Massachussetts's judges need to quit drinking bong water. But that sounds like more projection of your own opinion that they just "didn't break up well". Without something to back that up, I refuse to believe that is how the judges handle all their cases. And it STILL does not address the fact that someone who VIOLATES a restraining order likely deserved the order to begin with.

PassTheChocolate · 03-01-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok

Also the fact that someone doesn't have a penis doesn't make them trustworthy. And the fact that someone does have one doesn't make them some terrible violent abuser.

I don't see anything in what you quoted that implies that men are the only one cabable of abuse, or anything in this thread that implies that either.