Who never wants to have children?

[*VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*]

At 30 I have no real desire to have children. It gets hard though with constant pressure from everyone around me (family, etc). They just can't seem to fathom the thought of someone not desiring children.

My reasons are the same as a lot of people's - I like my freedom, both financially and time wise, I like being able to go where I want when I want and get home when I want. I like being able to take holidays and go away for weekends whenever I feel the need. Call me selfish but my life is about me, plus, I am still a huge kid myself hehe.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by lisalan

You know what? Maybe I shouldn't have respnded to this thread as I am in the middle of postpartum depression. I have a 7 year old 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old.
To the one who said :"Oh jeez. You're as overdramatic as my teenager" Let me just say that JUSTJULIA I feel sorry for your teenager.

Postpartum depression will do that to you, yes. And lack of sleep with a newborn is terrible. I went through that three times. It does get better!

[MissLucky]

Originally Posted by lisalan

I am speaking from experience here. I have 3 kids and they do bring alot of joy into my life. They make me smile. I just never really understood how much work they would be .However, don't have kids unless you realize and fully accept the fact that:


1. You will never sleep soundly ever again.
2. You will always be broke.
3. You will be answering their questions 24/7
4. You will never have time for yourself
5. You are ready to sacrifice yurself and always put their needs before your own.

All these sound good to me.

[mchelle]

Wow, this is one of the most entertaining threads I've ever have the pleasure of reading. I agree with another poster who mentioned that the Parenting and Christianity forums seem to be the only ones where people are consistently flamed for sharing differing viewpoints. Quite sad. But seeing people get their panties in a bunch over something so silly is hysterical to me.

I'm not a parent. I'm not sure if I ever will be or not. But this is still one of the forums that I check regularly because I like to read about other people and their kids. Hell, I've checked out books at the library about raising kids just because I like the material. It's interesting to me. At one time I wanted more than anything to be a teacher, so I enjoy learning about child development. But just because it's interesting doesn't mean I'm going to jump on board and start popping out babies whenever I get married. I may adopt children in the future, but again, that's a huge maybe. Just because I like reading about it doesn't mean I want my freedom and spontaneity completely taken away from me, which unfortunately tends to happen when people have children. Of course my opinion could change in the future, but that's how I feel right now.

And it seems a bit silly that just because I don't want kids right now, I should not be allowed into this forum. For everyone whining about people coming here and terrorizing you and your viewpoints, which must be pretty weak in the first place if you allow yourself to become so offended by someone merely stating their opinion, these threads are here for people who share the same mindset and want to hear from others in the same position. This thread is proof that choosing not to have children still holds a social stigma that to me seems pretty outdated. Does it really matter if someone thinks differently than you do? No one forced you to open this thread.

Because of this insane way of looking down at people who don't have children, it can lead people to want to come together and support each other, instead of having their ideas and beliefs constantly torn down. There aren't societal pressures to own dogs or live in certain cities. When it comes to having kids, there are definite expectations that society set for us. And what other forum would you recommend this thread be in? I'm not sure it would fit in Auto or Houston.

[nichirenx]

Originally Posted by Raven1976

I keep thinking that I really don't think I want children at all. Especially now that most people seem to be struggling, education costs are out of control, housing is ridiculous, and many other things are going on in this world. Why would I want to bring a child into this mess unless I was completely stable in all aspects of my life? So many people just have them to have them.

I know quite a few couples that never want to have kids and they are happy as well. I enjoy being around children and have been teaching for a few years, but it's nice to get out and have the rest of the night to myself and my husband and be spontaneous when we want to do something or go somewhere.

So who else has been contemplating not having children??

Made that decision years ago.
Proudly sterilized and child free here.
Wishing I could find a local lady who has no children and who is also sterilized.

[silverwing]

Originally Posted by nichirenx

Made that decision years ago.
Proudly sterilized and child free here.
Wishing I could find a local lady who has no children and who is also sterilized.

If you are sterilized, is it so important to find a woman who is, as well? It's still** not easy for a woman to get snipped.

Have you tried No Kidding! Or some of the CF groups like The Childfree Life Of all the online groups, that one is rated as the most moderate

**note:thank Bob it's not the 70s or 80s.
My mate, at 35, got a vasectomy with some ease back in 1986. In fact, his doctor *smirked* and told him "now you won't have to worry about some woman getting knocked up and coming after you for child support". Me - even though I was close to 30, met with a solid wall of denial. I was told that I was "too young; you'll probably change your mind; most women do." At 50, I'd like to go back and tell those doctors "SEE! told you I'd never change me mind! And I'm totally happydillyicious about my decision, too!"

[nichirenx]

Originally Posted by silverwing

If you are sterilized, is it so important to find a woman who is, as well? It's still** not easy for a woman to get snipped.

Have you tried No Kidding! Or some of the CF groups like The Childfree Life Of all the online groups, that one is rated as the most moderate

**note:thank Bob it's not the 70s or 80s.
My mate, at 35, got a vasectomy with some ease back in 1986. In fact, his doctor *smirked* and told him "now you won't have to worry about some woman getting knocked up and coming after you for child support". Me - even though I was close to 30, met with a solid wall of denial. I was told that I was "too young; you'll probably change your mind; most women do." At 50, I'd like to go back and tell those doctors "SEE! told you I'd never change me mind! And I'm totally happydillyicious about my decision, too!"

The woman being sterilized is wishful thinking and overkill but I like it.
I got sterilized at 21 and had to get a friend's uncle who was a doc to do it because all the rest gave me that stupid line about changing my mind as well.

Never really looked into social sites specifically for that. Mainly I meet ladies offline and hope for the best. I have met three women that do not have or want kids but all are dedicated to their religion and prefer their S/O to be as well.

People assume that I hate kids but I spoil my child relatives rotten.
But children are like marriage to me.
I understand the sacrifice and effort enough to know that it is not the choice i want to make.