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Old 03-08-2009, 05:54 PM
 
10,996 posts, read 10,924,754 times
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Why is it so surprising to people with really bad relationships (marriage) when a mate cheats? I'm sorry , but I gotta say all the bull-hawk is getting really tiring. Did these people really not see it coming???

 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,387 posts, read 29,063,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
Why is it so surprising to people with really bad relationships (marriage) when a mate cheats? I'm sorry , but I gotta say all the bull-hawk is getting really tiring. Did these people really not see it coming???
Why would you see it coming? Affairs are not the logical result of a bad marriage. Divorce is. You shouldn't be surprised by a bad marriage ending but I'd find it quite surprising if my husband stayed in a bad marriage with me and had an affair. Why would he stay if it's that bad with me? The act of staying indicates it's not that bad.

What's surprising is that they choose to have an affair rather than walk away and legally, and morally, end their marriage first. Yes, I'd be surprised if my husband did that. Staying and sleeping around doesn't make sense. Either leave and sleep around or stay and work on your marriage. Why stay married and sleep around? Why not end the bad relationship first?

I would expect my husband to do exactly what he did. Leave first. Unfortunately, we still have the aftermath of his affair to deal with anyway since we ended up back together so I'll add, make sure it's over before you have that affair. You may find you're living with that decision for a long time to come. Sadly, my husband wants things the way they were but they never can be again. Somehow, it just doesn't seem worth it.
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:06 PM
 
10,996 posts, read 10,924,754 times
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Ivory I am really sorried about what happened to you. But people tend to have reasons why divorce might not be the best idea. Or at least they might think so.
No, I dont condone cheating, and I would love it if people did the right thing and get divorced before cheating. But when a marriage is really bad...its good to keep in mind that the possibility exists that this will happen. Sometimes even out of VENGEANCE.
I suspect thats how a lot of affairs start. The person is in a way,
getting even with the partner for being so....bad.
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
1,545 posts, read 2,882,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
And what was the price God required for David's sin? I believe it was the life of David's son. Sadly, children often pay for the sins of their parents.

So much pain can be caused by not honoring your vows.
The child born of sin died, conflict never left David household BUT he had a son that brought peace to the nations of Judah and Israel and was one the richest man to date (because even his servants were gold and silver.). This same son ruled his kingdom with GREAT wisdom that other kings and queens HAD to come see him,wrote several books in the bible and other document that are not mentioned and his kingdom represented the coming of the Lord's

He was King Soloman
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 16,603,943 times
Reputation: 12289
Good grief, this thing is still going???

Hopefully all the married people on here are gonna have some great sex with their spouses tonight.

Don't neglect your spouses
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,387 posts, read 29,063,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
Ivory I am really sorried about what happened to you. But people tend to have reasons why divorce might not be the best idea. Or at least they might think so.
No, I dont condone cheating, and I would love it if people did the right thing and get divorced before cheating. But when a marriage is really bad...its good to keep in mind that the possibility exists that this will happen. Sometimes even out of VENGEANCE.
I suspect thats how a lot of affairs start. The person is in a way,
getting even with the partner for being so....bad.
I don't agree. A spouse should never be expected to assume their spouse will cheat on them. If the relationship is that bad, you leave or if you decide to stay, you don't have the affair. You don't have to have one you know. It's a choice. You don't have to sleep with someone else. You don't have to stay. You talk like it's inevetable. It's not. You can choose to do the right thing. There's nothing stopping you.

No, people should not assume their spouse will cheat. Not in good marriages and not in bad marriages. It is reasonable to believe that if your spouse chooses to stay, they're committed to the union. It makes no sense to stay if they are not.
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,387 posts, read 29,063,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eyewrist View Post
The child born of sin died, conflict never left David household BUT he had a son that brought peace to the nations of Judah and Israel and was one the richest man to date (because even his servants were gold and silver.). This same son ruled his kingdom with GREAT wisdom that other kings and queens HAD to come see him,wrote several books in the bible and other document that are not mentioned and his kingdom represented the coming of the Lord's

He was King Soloman
That's right. Conflict NEVER left David's house. Such is the price for sin.
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
1,545 posts, read 2,882,498 times
Reputation: 1198
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito View Post
Good grief, this thing is still going???

Hopefully all the married people on here are gonna have some great sex with their spouses tonight.

Don't neglect your spouses
It become more of a group counseling session thread for the cheatees.
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:25 PM
 
Location: So Cal
37,927 posts, read 36,683,812 times
Reputation: 38542
I didn't read the whole thread, but I don't understand "misconceptions surrounding cheating"

I thought you pretty much don't do it. What is there to misunderstand. Why some cheated, who gives a rats ass why they cheated. They cheated!!!!!
 
Old 03-08-2009, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
1,545 posts, read 2,882,498 times
Reputation: 1198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
That's right. Conflict NEVER left David's house. Such is the price for sin.
...and King Soloman put an end to the conflict in the family. Evidently the rest of my quote didn't show up or you ignored it
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