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You are correct. I however, am not saying that its inevitable. I am saying that its possible. Very possible if the partner has some deep anger towards the other. Possible because its an option. and if the partner feels slighted very badly, cheating is perfect of an option to them, because now they get to execute vengeance on the person who did them wrong. Feelings play a big part in betrayal. It doesnt just happen over night.
If someone falls in love with another person who is not their partner, but their husband is a saint, more than likely she will seek a divorce before hurting him in such a horrible way. If she doesnt, then shes just evil and deserves to go to hell.
But if there are anger issues at play...people will get so emotional that they just have to inflict pain. Cheating then happens. Its their way of staying out of jail if they get payback. But they wont seek a divorce because that would mean that they didnt get justice . (In their hearts anyway).
I agree cheaters are out to inflict pain. Cheating just does it so well. It's very sad that people who, supposedly, once loved their spouse would behave that way. Where did any of us get the idea we have the right to hurt another human being for not living up to our expectations? That's a serious character flaw in by book. I don't care what my husband does. It doesn't give me the right to cheat on him and if I ever did, the shame and guilt would be all mine because I would be the one who chose to do the wrong thing.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 03-09-2009 at 02:17 AM..
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
LOL...the hypocrisy is astounding. I'm gonna make a bag of popcorn, sit back and take notes. There's money in this somewhere.
Let look at from this point of view...
If this was a child being neglected and abused by it mother by not speaking to him, not touching him, pushing him away when he want to be close to her, barely clothing him and not caring for him. Everybody on this thread would be calling CPS (Child Protective Services) to REMOVE from this awful mother. But since this is a grown man the rules have changed. But in reality, the situation is still the same in fact even worst because this is his WIFE neglecting him. Both the man and the child have feelings; both are still human beings.
I am not saying cheating was right but his admitted to his fault and is doing somethng about it. Give the man a hand for just that.
If this was a child being neglected and abused by it mother by not speaking to him, not touching him, pushing him away when he want to be close to her, barely clothing him and not caring for him. Everybody on this thread would be calling CPS (Child Protective Services) to REMOVE from this awful mother. But since this is a grown man the rules have changed. But in reality, the situation is still the same in fact even worst because this is his WIFE neglecting him. Both the man and the child have feelings; both are still human beings.
Which is it, the same or worse? I'd argue that neglecting a child is worse, though neglecting your spouse is still unacceptable.
Quote:
I am not saying cheating was right but his admitted to his fault and is doing somethng about it. Give the man a hand for just that.
I agree with you 100% there. It's not the OP that I am calling a hypocrite.
To all those people talking about GOD, and saying how bad people are for cheating, just remember that when people repent and ask for forgiveness, the godly thing to do is to forgive.
If this was a child being neglected and abused by it mother by not speaking to him, not touching him, pushing him away when he want to be close to her, barely clothing him and not caring for him. Everybody on this thread would be calling CPS (Child Protective Services) to REMOVE from this awful mother. But since this is a grown man the rules have changed. But in reality, the situation is still the same in fact even worst because this is his WIFE neglecting him. Both the man and the child have feelings; both are still human beings.
I am not saying cheating was right but his admitted to his fault and is doing somethng about it. Give the man a hand for just that.
One problem with your argument. There is a HUGE difference between an adult and a child. A child is defenseless. The child can't leave and find a another mother to take care of him. Adults can take care of themselves but if said adult needs another mommy because he's not being taken care of properly, in his mind, he can file for divorce and go get one.
We protect children because they are defenseless, young, impressionable and their personalities form based, in part, on their situations. Adults are grown ups who are capable of taking care of themselves and deciding whether or not to stay in a relationship. Not getting all the attention you want from your spouse does not excuse cheating. Nothing does. It takes someone of very low character to cheat. Blaming your spouse is just an excuse and rotten because it attempts to heap blame on the victim.
Different people have different expectations of marriage. If yours don't match your mates then it's time to move on, not time to justify being a louse and cheating.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 03-09-2009 at 04:32 AM..
To all those people talking about GOD, and saying how bad people are for cheating, just remember that when people repent and ask for forgiveness, the godly thing to do is to forgive.
But that doesn't mean you have to stay with the cheater. I am required to forgive my husband but he broke our vows so I'm not obligated to stay with him. It is yet to be seen whether or not we'll survive this. I agreed to try but I can make no guarantees. It's a pretty big thing to get past and, unfortunately, like a bad meal, keeps coming back up.
Just wanted to point out there is a difference between forgiving and rolling over and becomming a door mat. Once someone has proven themselves a cheater, we are under no obligation to ever trust them again. You are correct though, that I'm required to forgive.
You can forgive a murderer but that doesn't mean you let him out of jail. They are what they are and will do what they do because they are what they are. Unfortunately, bad situations don't form our character. They just reveal it. If a bad marriage reveals someone to be a cheater then that's what they are.
But that doesn't mean you have to stay with the cheater. I am required to forgive my husband but he broke our vows so I'm not obligated to stay with him. It is yet to be seen whether or not we'll survive this. I agreed to try but I can make no guarantees. It's a pretty big thing to get past and, unfortunately, like a bad meal, keeps coming back up.
Just wanted to point out there is a difference between forgiving and rolling over and becomming a door mat. Once someone has proven themselves a cheater, we are under no obligation to ever trust them again.
I agree. Forgiving doesnt mean staying.
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Cheaters are just misunderstood.