Respect (spin-off thread)

[stan4]

I used to be extremely trusting of pretty much everyone - just assumed the best all the time. That has clearly proven (more often than not) to be an erroneous assumption on my part - so the general public as a whole has lost my respect, but I tend to go case by case when dealing with individuals.

[Bluesmama]

It is both. It should be a given until someone contaminates his/her rights to it. I think Pikantari gave a good answer.

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by Chinolala

I was raised in a household where name calling or saying "shut up" was forbidden. It was considered mean and in poor taste. we should never speak that way to each other. It helps to be reared in a home with respect. If you demand respect, you may be able to instill that in others.

i'm so glad you made this point chino about name-calling and disrespectful verbal interactions. You are so right. So many people just don't get that it is in poor taste, and it is offensive behavior. Thanks for helping to raise the standards here in CD forum!

[Dave_n_Tenn]

Originally Posted by yayoi

How do you define it?


Is it to be given freely or is it earned?

For me, (my opinion for the whole post)... I find it difficult at the very least to define respect without defining love in the same breath. I must add a caveat... this is primarily true inside relationships ( marriage) between "good willed people"... to deny love or respect within the bounds of marriage can reach levels of "emotional abuse".

Speaking to gender specific enablement, that is esteeming, (male and female) each of us have a primary lens we see the world through, defined as love for women and respect for men. Of course we need both, but we do have a default filtering mechanism. To deny love or respect, disables relational growth and creates a cycle of retaliation, or a crazy cycle that is self feeding... he denies love she holds back respect, she denies respect holds back love. From a Biblical perspective, the Bible exhorts wives to respect their husbands and husbands love your wives. This is not conditional for marriage, in fact the very opposite is true.

Love and respect is actually a responsibility. We have an obligation to cultivate the ground around our spouses. The parable of the sower points to the fact that no one needs to tell the seed ( man and woman) what to do or what to be. Would a farmer tell the corn seed to grow into a apple tree? In fact if he treated corn like an apple he may actually kill the seed. In the same way each of us have been given a responsibility to cultivate by loving or respecting our chosen mates.

food for thought