Has anybody been through so many bad relationships that............ (dating, boyfriend, girlfriends)

[Interpol76]

You simply loose intrest in dating and relationships, period? I mean...I'm only in my late 20's and am scared that I have totally lost my intrest in dating and relationships. I even avoid hanging out or talking to women if I know they have a bit of a crush on me. Worse yet... I even start to feel guilty myself if I develop a crush on a girl and we start hanging out. It a horrible feeling... and it is almost a relief when I find out that they are not interested and toss me into the "friends" catagory. So...is this just passing phase? Or have I become too independent for my own good? I've been like this like a year and a half!!!

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

No. But I am beginning to think honesty doesn't pay.

I'm tired of hearing and reading women say they can't stand liars, that they want honest men. I've always been honest. And that has sometimes gotten me into trouble because women have judged me and written me off.

Some will say that such people, regardless of gender, are either stupid, irrational, or have issues, or whatever. Perhaps so, but I'm just tired of being the truthful guy women say they want... and then getting screwed over.

I'm too old and way too tired (and too serious) to be a "player." But at times I don't blame players for being players.

[mpyne]

Like another poster said too many women play games these days. Women dont care what your character is they only care about what you do for a living and if youre confident.

Also in my age range they are mostly over weight and if theyre not then they get overrun by desperate men. It almost sad to watch these losers with their pick up lines.

Its like theres a laundry list that you must meet right off the bat. After that if you do something they perceive as wrong youre history,

Not for me anymore, to much of a pain in the butt

[Dwatted Wabbit]

I've had a couple of bad relationships. Out of quite a few serious girlfriends over the years.
One in particular, with the original borderline beeotch from hell, sticks in my mind on the negative side.
And some disappointing ones, some ended with pain or sadness. And some wonderful ones with wonderful women. Just didn't work out.

You catch your breath, pick up your toys, and get back into the game.
I was not willing to spend my life alone.

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by Interpol76

You simply loose intrest in dating and relationships, period? I mean...I'm only in my late 20's and am scared that I have totally lost my intrest in dating and relationships. I even avoid hanging out or talking to women if I know they have a bit of a crush on me. Worse yet... I even start to feel guilty myself if I develop a crush on a girl and we start hanging out. It a horrible feeling... and it is almost a relief when I find out that they are not interested and toss me into the "friends" catagory. So...is this just passing phase? Or have I become too independent for my own good? I've been like this like a year and a half!!!

It'll pass. Focus on yourself and heal. When the time is right, you'll know it. Whatever you do, don't bother trying if you're not ready. And don't let your experiences make you so bitter that you start posting about how you're going to start treating people like dirt because that's what they really want.

[Bjones1976]

It a passing phase. As long as you are human your going to crave companionship. Now, it's a bad thing to not want jump into the "boyfriend" role too quickly. To acquire a good relationship takes time, and they need to be handled delicately. Don't feel bad about not wanting to rush a relationship your not ready to be in, you'll learn discipline and it will help you to be okay with being by yourself.

Originally Posted by Interpol76

You simply loose intrest in dating and relationships, period? I mean...I'm only in my late 20's and am scared that I have totally lost my intrest in dating and relationships. I even avoid hanging out or talking to women if I know they have a bit of a crush on me. Worse yet... I even start to feel guilty myself if I develop a crush on a girl and we start hanging out. It a horrible feeling... and it is almost a relief when I find out that they are not interested and toss me into the "friends" catagory. So...is this just passing phase? Or have I become too independent for my own good? I've been like this like a year and a half!!!

[sportsfangal]

I've lost some faith in the whole thing. But, I don't let it stop me from meeting people or talking to them. I usually sit and mind my own business, and a guy may or may not approach me.
But, lately, I haven't been able to meet anyone interested in pursuing anything further.

[artsyguy]

i have not had bad relationships but I have dated plenty of people to assume that society isn't relationship orientated, therefore, have decided to not date or be involved with relationships.

[CESpeed]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it doesn't get better as you get older. I'm 40 so for me, I've had enough dating and relationship experience to be VERY cynical but like sportsfangal, I've lost faith in actually meeting a guy I can have a real relationship. But I haven't lost enough yet to stop giving it the old "college try".

You, on the other hand, are too young to give up and lose heart. Just be realistic about what you want. Instead of always going after the hottest girl, why not try the nicest? Nice does not always equal dog.

[Mathguy]

My advice is that if things in the past haven't worked out then perhaps try a different approach and get out of your comfort zone? Join an organization, club etc. and get to know people. NETWORK. Heck, I'm not even dating right now either and I went to try Yoga last night for the first time and I'm going to find ONE new thing to try this weekend...life is too short, implement some change.

It only takes one person....and realistically they ARE out there, you just haven't met them yet.

Interpol, what about making some lifestyle changes, doing some new things etc. it could REALLY help to get you out of this rut?