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Old 03-15-2009, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 1,251,697 times
Reputation: 388
At this point in my life (I'm 36, going on 23), my comfort level would be plus or minus 5 years. It's not a definite rule of mine, but just a general guideline.
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:05 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
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I think that if I were single now, I would probably prefer to date a man that was about 10 years my junior. The men my age and a little older seem very much older than I am physically. They have a lot more wrinkles on their face than I do. But it really would depend on their overall energy level and having a positive happy outlook on life. And of course, I would prefer that he have no kids.
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:17 PM
 
17,577 posts, read 16,374,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I think that if I were single now, I would probably prefer to date a man that was about 10 years my junior. The men my age and a little older seem very much older than I am physically.
I agree with this; I have found the same thing to be true, generally, and it is frustrating. because my preference really is around my own age.

I have no desire to wind up with someone so much older than me that he is looking for someone to make HIM feel younger, and take care of him because he has not done so himself. No thanks.
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:18 PM
Status: "Once a Jersian ALWAYS a Jersian." (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: In the real world.
19,025 posts, read 3,794,260 times
Reputation: 9201
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I think that if I were single now, I would probably prefer to date a man that was about 10 years my junior. The men my age and a little older seem very much older than I am physically. They have a lot more wrinkles on their face than I do. But it really would depend on their overall energy level and having a positive happy outlook on life. And of course, I would prefer that he have no kids.
Would you consider a man whose kids are grown and on their own?
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:28 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njmike View Post
Would you consider a man whose kids are grown and on their own?
It all depends on how much his children still need him. Another factor would be that if we were to marry, I wouldn't want his children to be resentful should I be written into his will. I understand how they would feel seeing their inheritance shrink, but at the same time, should I become his wife, I'd like to have my full rights as his spouse. So it's just easier to find a guy without that sort of baggage. And in the New England area, I meet many older educated men that don't have kids. It seems that the more educated a person is, the less likely they have kids or lots of kids. Especially among educated white males.

Anyway, it's mostly that I don't want to be in competition with his kids for his attention and affections.
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:33 PM
Status: "Once a Jersian ALWAYS a Jersian." (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: In the real world.
19,025 posts, read 3,794,260 times
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The reason I asked was that my kids are grown and on their own and my ex-fiancee had no problem with that but her girlfriend was adiment that the guy should have no kids.

If I were to remarry, of course my SO would come first but I would be there to help my kids if need be.
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:44 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
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I guess that I've heard a couple of awful second wife stories from friends, and I just want to avoid that sort of drama. Otherwise, I don't think that it was your ex-fiance's girlfriend's place to cause trouble for your relationship. If your ex-fiance was happy with you the way you are, then her friend should have been happy for her.

Best of luck to you in your future relationship(s).
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Old 05-17-2009, 08:04 AM
 
Location: New Milford, NJ
1,448 posts, read 1,926,081 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
We watched an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker. One of the milionaires was a 41 year old single Mother with a young baby. She came across as very nice, self made and she also happened to be absolutely stunningly good looking.
She hadn't been on a date in 3 years and was having trouble with ageist men wanting to date women 10+ years younger than themselves.

The other millionaire was 45 and looking to date someone in their late twenties, early thirties. One of the girls he picked for a mini date literally looked like she could be his daughter.

The Matchmaker ended up fixing them up with each other, but the female millionaire was not allowed to tell him her age. I just thought how sad this was. The woman was accomplished, movie star good looking and couldn't get a date. What is wrong with this picture? It can't be looks because she was far better looking then most of the 20 somethings. So I guess it's about kids? It's ok for a guy to get to 45 and suddenly decide he wants kids, but a woman at 41 is considered over the hill?

Has anyone experienced this IRL? I thought it was absolutely nuts and just wondered if anyone else saw it/ had an opinion on the subject?
Ummm....has anyone experienced this you say? Unfortunately, yes..
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Old 05-17-2009, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 2,155,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I meet many older educated men that don't have kids. It seems that the more educated a person is, the less likely they have kids or lots of kids. Especially among educated white males.
Does no one else find this sad, or a warning sign? Gives a pretty good outlook on the country as a whole though.
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Old 05-17-2009, 09:39 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
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Originally Posted by Waynec613 View Post
Does no one else find this sad, or a warning sign? Gives a pretty good outlook on the country as a whole though.
Why? Why would you think that everyone should want to produce children? The world is overpopulated, not everyone is good parent material, and kids are very expensive to raise well. And some of us enjoy having a quiet peaceful adult household to live in. I don't want to hear tantrums or the breakage of my valuable items. I don't want to have to child proof my house. I know more bad parents than good ones. As to my family's future generations, I have two nieces. Being an aunt is just fine with me.

Having children should be a planned and prepared for event, and not left to chance. And their births looked forward to, not dreaded or viewed as an unexpected unwanted gift.
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