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Old 01-06-2009, 08:41 AM
 
212 posts, read 753,633 times
Reputation: 120

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One of my closest friends is currently driving me MAD! I mean I love her; she is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Sorry for the long post its a bit of a rant.

She is 24 but has never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship - she is very attractive, fit, big booms etc but she is very full on. All of my male friends scamper of when she enters the room because it’s like the Spanish inquisition, lol. This is not the problem I love her big bubbly personality and the way she could talk to the wall, I’m just trying to explain the reasons why guys are scared away.

She has started copying me – the way I dress, the makeup I wear and the way I act. I have known her for more than 15 years and I know this is not her – she doesn’t like funk or rock music, she’s a Barbie girl, she doesn’t rock the little black dress look with red lipstick she’s a Barbie girl everything has to be colourful, and she isn’t relaxed by nature someone who rather listens than talks – she’s loud and outgoing. All those things are me and she is eating away at my personality, I can’t stand it! I don’t like the new her but as a good friend I have to be supportive but I miss my old friend. One of me is enough! I feel like I’m in a competition with her even though I’m not competing. How can I get her to stop? Or do I just have to let this phase pass, If it is a phase?

Deep down I know she is doing this to grab a man, she always goes on about me having no problems with men. But trust me I do. I have a lot of male friends but that’s just because I have always got on with guys. How can I make her see that changing her personality isn’t the answer? And that she should back down and stop buying the same clothes as me!!! It’s too weird.

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do?
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
17,029 posts, read 30,814,563 times
Reputation: 16265
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You have found something she wants, maybe you could give her some pointers on how to come off better to people.
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:50 AM
 
212 posts, read 753,633 times
Reputation: 120
I have tried to work on this with her - I have told her to wait for people to stop speaking before she starts speaking and if she asks a question wait for the answer lol. On nights out if I squeeze her hand its to tell her to stop talking lol. But I don't want to change her I love the way she is already.
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Va Beach
3,507 posts, read 13,416,371 times
Reputation: 1034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oildog View Post
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You have found something she wants, maybe you could give her some pointers on how to come off better to people.
Good advice! It reminds me of an episode of Golden Girls when Dorothy went to the Rusty Anchor with Blanche (it was her hangout) and Dorothy got all the attention. In the end, they made an agreement that they would go there on opposite nights so that Blanche wouldn't feel left out with all her men friends.
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:55 AM
 
212 posts, read 753,633 times
Reputation: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erma View Post
Good advice! It reminds me of an episode of Golden Girls when Dorothy went to the Rusty Anchor with Blanche (it was her hangout) and Dorothy got all the attention. In the end, they made an agreement that they would go there on opposite nights so that Blanche wouldn't feel left out with all her men friends.
Lol maybe we should start to do that, take it in turns to go to our local!
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 3,296,970 times
Reputation: 1246
She is imitating you and your style because she admires you. She may think that you have qualities that a man will find more appealing than her own, considering her track record.

Try not to be aggravated with her. She is still very young. Many people re-invent themselves from time to time when they start to realize that something they currently do is not working for them. She is just trying on something new to see how it fits her.

BTW, she may copy you but, take heart. YOU are still the original.
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:34 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,074,195 times
Reputation: 2048
Quote:
Originally Posted by Too-Much-Too-Young View Post
One of my closest friends is currently driving me MAD! I mean I love her; she is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Sorry for the long post its a bit of a rant.

She is 24 but has never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship - she is very attractive, fit, big booms etc but she is very full on. All of my male friends scamper of when she enters the room because it’s like the Spanish inquisition, lol. This is not the problem I love her big bubbly personality and the way she could talk to the wall, I’m just trying to explain the reasons why guys are scared away.

She has started copying me – the way I dress, the makeup I wear and the way I act. I have known her for more than 15 years and I know this is not her – she doesn’t like funk or rock music, she’s a Barbie girl, she doesn’t rock the little black dress look with red lipstick she’s a Barbie girl everything has to be colourful, and she isn’t relaxed by nature someone who rather listens than talks – she’s loud and outgoing. All those things are me and she is eating away at my personality, I can’t stand it! I don’t like the new her but as a good friend I have to be supportive but I miss my old friend. One of me is enough! I feel like I’m in a competition with her even though I’m not competing. How can I get her to stop? Or do I just have to let this phase pass, If it is a phase?

Deep down I know she is doing this to grab a man, she always goes on about me having no problems with men. But trust me I do. I have a lot of male friends but that’s just because I have always got on with guys. How can I make her see that changing her personality isn’t the answer? And that she should back down and stop buying the same clothes as me!!! It’s too weird.

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do?
Rent Single White Female. Your life depends on it! LOLOLOLOLO
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:35 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,074,195 times
Reputation: 2048
Then rent "The Talented Mr. Ripley" Same story except with yoo-hoos
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,972 posts, read 7,673,763 times
Reputation: 1753
I can totally relate. I had this friend who would copy everything action I did. If I took a picture of something, she'd do the same, if I took a bite of my cookie or snack we bought earlier, she'd take a bite of hers.
You get the idea. it got so bad that if I didn't feel like wearing makeup or dressing up, she would follow suit. What is that? be your own person! I got so annoyed by her actions. I hate being copied.





Quote:
Originally Posted by Too-Much-Too-Young View Post
One of my closest friends is currently driving me MAD! I mean I love her; she is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Sorry for the long post its a bit of a rant.

She is 24 but has never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship - she is very attractive, fit, big booms etc but she is very full on. All of my male friends scamper of when she enters the room because it’s like the Spanish inquisition, lol. This is not the problem I love her big bubbly personality and the way she could talk to the wall, I’m just trying to explain the reasons why guys are scared away.

She has started copying me – the way I dress, the makeup I wear and the way I act. I have known her for more than 15 years and I know this is not her – she doesn’t like funk or rock music, she’s a Barbie girl, she doesn’t rock the little black dress look with red lipstick she’s a Barbie girl everything has to be colourful, and she isn’t relaxed by nature someone who rather listens than talks – she’s loud and outgoing. All those things are me and she is eating away at my personality, I can’t stand it! I don’t like the new her but as a good friend I have to be supportive but I miss my old friend. One of me is enough! I feel like I’m in a competition with her even though I’m not competing. How can I get her to stop? Or do I just have to let this phase pass, If it is a phase?

Deep down I know she is doing this to grab a man, she always goes on about me having no problems with men. But trust me I do. I have a lot of male friends but that’s just because I have always got on with guys. How can I make her see that changing her personality isn’t the answer? And that she should back down and stop buying the same clothes as me!!! It’s too weird.

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do?
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,279,816 times
Reputation: 5517
Any pics of this "friend" of yours?
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