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either online like a lot of people do or writing a book? I ask for different reasons. The recent threads about rough childhoods and the one about sexual abuse in the family. As soons as someone mentions their abuse here, it's like someone has a worse story here on this forum and on and on it goes. Then there have been two recent occurrences in the UK. A woman who kicked her 17 year old son out of the house because he smoked pot and the revelations of someone I worked with 27 years ago who is now a Barrister and Judge. The judge wrote a book of the abuse she "suffered" at the hands of her own mother, it was quite harrowing and disturbing although I found certain parts hard to believe. I'm sure she exaggerated a bit. Her mother sued her in court claiming it was all lies. However, she lost.
We worked together for an out reach community group and because things would be slow atimes, we spent a good amount of time talking and I went to her home once but I never got to know her really well enough. Google the book "Ugly" for more background. A very successful woman, yet she felt the need to tell the world about her family even mentioned every sibling she has and laying out ugly issues that I'm sure embarrased them.
The woman who threw the kid out is now heavily promoting the book and is on just about every show you can think of and I think why? Your kid smoked pot it's a family problem why do you think people need to know and why out your son so publically? Then there are all the celebs, who feel the need to bare it all....I think that's when regular folks thought it was ok, so they started going on to oprah, monetel and as well as writing books of misery. Some have been found to be total fiction - Frey and the white chick from Encino who wrote a book about how she was part of an all Black gang in South LA or something like that.
Do people find it cathartic or do they enjoy being the centre of attention or do they really want to reach out?
either online like a lot of people do or writing a book? I ask for different reasons. The recent threads about rough childhoods and the one about sexual abuse in the family. As soons as someone mentions their abuse here, it's like someone has a worse story here on this forum and on and on it goes. Then there have been two recent occurrences in the UK. A woman who kicked her 17 year old son out of the house because he smoked pot and the revelations of someone I worked with 27 years ago who is now a Barrister and Judge. The judge wrote a book of the abuse she "suffered" at the hands of her own mother, it was quite harrowing and disturbing although I found certain parts hard to believe. I'm sure she exaggerated a bit. Her mother sued her in court claiming it was all lies. However, she lost.
We worked together for an out reach community group and because things would be slow atimes, we spent a good amount of time talking and I went to her home once but I never got to know her really well enough. Google the book "Ugly" for more background. A very successful woman, yet she felt the need to tell the world about her family even mentioned every sibling she has and laying out ugly issues that I'm sure embarrased them.
The woman who threw the kid out is now heavily promoting the book and is on just about every show you can think of and I think why? Your kid smoked pot it's a family problem why do you think people need to know and why out your son so publically? Then there are all the celebs, who feel the need to bare it all....I think that's when regular folks thought it was ok, so they started going on to oprah, monetel and as well as writing books of misery. Some have been found to be total fiction - Frey and the white chick from Encino who wrote a book about how she was part of an all Black gang in South LA or something like that.
Do people find it cathartic or do they enjoy being the centre of attention or do they really want to reach out?
I think it is very cathartic to talk out your troubles and traumas - to a friend, minister, counselor, or spouse. When you go on Jerry Springer to do it I think you are just looking for the attention
Some people do exploit it but some are just looking for a way to come to terms with their past. Sometimes, it can feel liberating to just let people know what happened, it can bring closure. Especially for those who were victims, I don't see how it's embarassing as though it's something to be ashamed of? That sort of attitude is exactly the reason why so many victims don't come forward and report the crime to the police.
And some might be doing it in hopes that it can help others going through the same thing. I think it really depends on the individual and it's hard to say for sure what the case is if you don't know the person really well.
I think it is, though I don't believe in telling anyone everything. It is also cathartic to hear and see reactions that re-enforce your position, what you already knew. Not just through people who agree with you, but also through those who don't. THAT is refreshing.
I think it is very cathartic to talk out your troubles and traumas - to a friend, minister, counselor, or spouse. When you go on Jerry Springer to do it I think you are just looking for the attention
True! I've warned my wife that I'll never visit the Jerry Springer show with her!
I think some people write about it so that others know they're not alone, some just to get it off their chests, some to cash in on a book deal, others for other reasons.
Maybe I'm just a jaded miserable snarky ole so and so, but I'm amazed at the amount of them whenever I go into a book store or on line. They just don't quit.
There was something that landed me in doodoo some years ago even made the papers, I thought of writing a book and sent out some querry letters, got two back from agents who were very interested and I sent the first chapter to one of them (because he had a Park Avenue address). I gave it more thought and decided against it....couldn't let my father read it or know what actually took place as the rest of the family knew, but somehow was able to keep it from him. Then I lost my dad a few years later and now I don't think it's such a great idea. It would mean bringing up certain things I'd rather my mum didn't know or my nieces and nephews. Really couldn't care what the rest of the world think of me....just my family.
I find it relieving to get some things off my chest that I would not tell to a friend or family member. Sure, it's nice to hear from others that may be in the same boat and understand.
Or even from others that set you straight. I surpressed feeling for a long time. Came here, did a lot of reading and posted some problems. It helped, as far as getting me to confront things and start fixing them.
I am going through a few things currently and this bored has helped so much. I don't think I would write a book or want to be associated IRL with my story, but at least I am not all bottled up.
I think some people write about it so that others know they're not alone
That's true. I do it occasionally and post things I wouldn't normally post just because the people have provoked me and touched me in some way and I either wanna "save" them or at least offer them the comfort of not being alone.
I used to read books to "know that I am not alone." But I graduated to support groups (specifically: adult children of alcoholics).
The real catharsis is in owning your own role in your current situation. It DOES help to vent about what was done to you, and to hear others' stories when prior to that you thought you were the only one. But to grow, you have to ask yourself, "What am I NOT doing to move on?"
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). I gave it more thought and decided against it....couldn't let my father read it or know what actually took place as the rest of the family knew, but somehow was able to keep it from him. Then I lost my dad a few years later and now I don't think it's such a great idea. It would mean bringing up certain things I'd rather my mum didn't know or my nieces and nephews. Really couldn't care what the rest of the world think of me....just my family.
