U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-12-2009, 09:34 AM
 
3,487 posts, read 4,983,859 times
Reputation: 3847
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
We have offered a "family meeting", and they refused.
We have offered to attend family counseling, and they refused.
We have sought advice from friends who are counselors and psychiatrists who are familiar with BOTH sides of the situation and they have ALL stated the behavior they exhibit is inappropriate and deep seeded and not likely to change.
We have changed our approach several times but to no avail.

There is not much left to do with the exception of cutting them off completely and that is very hard for my husband to consider as an option.

Many people posting think cutting them off forever is the best route to take, and perhaps it is, but it is not as easy as it sounds. People are human, faulted, fractured, imperfect and trying to find their way in the world and to assume anyone knows how my husband feels and attacks his attempts at repairing the relationship have obviously no clue about life.

My husband sees the best in people. He always hopes that people are trying to contribute the most they can into every situation...he lives a Utopian life when it comes to human relationships.
Poor Mr Stewart . Really such a shame when people act so badly, and when it's family it's so much harder.
I hope he it works out and you don't end up having to be the bad guy again.

My Mother always sees the best in people too. Sometimes she gets so disappointed, but she would rather that than be cynical which I can understand and appreciate!

Good luck - sending positive thoughts your way!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-12-2009, 09:39 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,783,450 times
Reputation: 7871
It's obvious your husband means well. Regardless of what the poo-poo heads here have to say, the issue really is that his approach is not working. It's good that he's going to talk to them, but you've stated that and all of the above hasn't worked. It speaks volumes when you have to repeatedly tell grandparents to stop mistreating their grandchildren.

If cutting them off is not an option, it is certainly your decision. Maybe you can try something else, but something that will get their attention. Maybe asking them to go to counseling should turn into a condition of their continued involvement? Just throwing it out there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 09:51 AM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,445,072 times
Reputation: 7227
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
It's obvious your husband means well. Regardless of what the poo-poo heads here have to say, the issue really is that his approach is not working. It's good that he's going to talk to them, but you've stated that and all of the above hasn't worked. It speaks volumes when you have to repeatedly tell grandparents to stop mistreating their grandchildren.

If cutting them off is not an option, it is certainly your decision. Maybe you can try something else, but something that will get their attention. Maybe asking them to go to counseling should turn into a condition of their continued involvement? Just throwing it out there.
I'll send them to you!

When Nebraska had the Safe Haven law that had no age limitations we wee laughing about taking my senile grandmother up there and my inlaws They had to change the law before I could coordinate a road trip

Seriously, counseling as a condition may be a great idea! This will definitely prove their intentions...if they say "no" we will be certain they have no desire to forge relationships with the children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,194 posts, read 24,555,679 times
Reputation: 12285
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
I'll send them to you!

When Nebraska had the Safe Haven law that had no age limitations we wee laughing about taking my senile grandmother up there and my inlaws They had to change the law before I could coordinate a road trip

Seriously, counseling as a condition may be a great idea! This will definitely prove their intentions...if they say "no" we will be certain they have no desire to forge relationships with the children.
They sound like people who don't think they have any problems - like they are just perfect and fine the way they are. Send 'em to me ... I'll put 'em through the wringer!!!

I'm starting my own business called "Twinkle's Boot Camp".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Northeast TN
3,885 posts, read 5,166,537 times
Reputation: 3500
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
There is not much left to do with the exception of cutting them off completely and that is very hard for my husband to consider as an option.

Many people posting think cutting them off forever is the best route to take, and perhaps it is, but it is not as easy as it sounds. People are human, faulted, fractured, imperfect and trying to find their way in the world and to assume anyone knows how my husband feels and attacks his attempts at repairing the relationship have obviously no clue about life.

My husband sees the best in people. He always hopes that people are trying to contribute the most they can into every situation...he lives a Utopian life when it comes to human relationships.
I agree with you completely. Although his parent's may be nasty creatures, asking him to cut them off completely would probably be too hard on him as children just have an instinctive bond with their parent's regardless of behavior.

As for Friday, I'm sure you already have plans as I hear the botanical gardens are lovely this time of year.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:38 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,445,072 times
Reputation: 7227
No need for my husband to get home and deal with the in laws. I just walked into the kitchen to listen to my voicemails and lo and behold there is one from my dear mother in law. It goes something like this...

"Mrstewart, I know my so is out of town and I am demanding to spend time with the grandchildren tomorrow. John (FIL) and I have talked and if this is how it is going to be, we are writing our son and his children out of our wills"...




Ugh, problem solved.

Anyone know how to upload an audio onto CD? I'll play it for you if I can do it!

If I did not know better I would think she was under the influence of an hallucinogenic or crack...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:44 PM
 
3,487 posts, read 4,983,859 times
Reputation: 3847
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
No need for my husband to get home and deal with the in laws. I just walked into the kitchen to listen to my voicemails and lo and behold there is one from my dear mother in law. It goes something like this...

"Mrstewart, I know my so is out of town and I am demanding to spend time with the grandchildren tomorrow. John (FIL) and I have talked and if this is how it is going to be, we are writing our son and his children out of our wills"...




Ugh, problem solved.

Anyone know how to upload an audio onto CD? I'll play it for you if I can do it!

If I did not know better I would think she was under the influence of an hallucinogenic or crack...
OMG - what are you going to do?? Have Mr Stewart call them from where he is?? Or just pretend you never got it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:47 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,445,072 times
Reputation: 7227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
OMG - what are you going to do?? Have Mr Stewart call them from where he is?? Or just pretend you never got it?
I am going to let him hear it and I am not going to budge. She can put her head in an oven as far as I am concerned...what a stupid thing for her to say and threaten me with! She does not want to see the kids at all but when she does she is horrible and then on a whim she starts DEMANDING to see them...

Do you think she could have dementia? Seriously. I am going to figure out how to keep that message in case her doctor needs it or something. That is not normal, not even for her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,194 posts, read 24,555,679 times
Reputation: 12285
Holy crap!!!

Well, I guess you'd best be gettin on it, Mrs. Stewart before they cut everyone out of the will!


Nothin' says love like threatening to cut people out of the will!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Northeast TN
3,885 posts, read 5,166,537 times
Reputation: 3500
Wow. My jaw is on the ground. There is something not right about that kind of behavior. Maybe it is dementia.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:54 PM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top