U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:05 AM
 
779 posts, read 1,758,061 times
Reputation: 324
Exclamation Request sex early in the relationship

Socioculturally; the myth is that if a person wants sex early or prior to marriage:-
  1. He/ she is not decent. For example, a person (decent) who truly loves you would wait until your terms are met to engage in sex.--[ I beg to differ]
  2. He/ she is in the relationship just for sex; lie.
  3. He/ she is tempting/ testing you. Doing so; to see if you would fall prey to sex advances, fall victim to fornication and other reasons; I reserve my comment(s).

Some persons out "here" see an individual who denies sex as one who would deprive "us" of God's beautiful symbol of love after marriage. The book of Psalms possess the best of the best erotic literature; no person should deprive anyone of this.

Ps Statistics states that Adulterers are most often married to an individual who deprives them of sex. Exception limited to male/female promiscuity and or pedophiles

What is your opinion?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:19 AM
 
4,838 posts, read 4,912,122 times
Reputation: 2893
Where is KILLER2021?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:36 AM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
12,650 posts, read 8,416,636 times
Reputation: 8245
Quote:
Originally Posted by npumcrisz View Post
Socioculturally; the myth is that if a person wants sex early or prior to marriage:-
  1. He/ she is not decent. For example, a person (decent) who truly loves you would wait until your terms are met to engage in sex.--[ I beg to differ]
  2. He/ she is in the relationship just for sex; lie.
  3. He/ she is tempting/ testing you. Doing so; to see if you would fall prey to sex advances, fall victim to fornication and other reasons; I reserve my comment(s).

Some persons out "here" see an individual who denies sex as one who would deprive "us" of God's beautiful symbol of love after marriage. The book of Psalms possess the best of the best erotic literature; no person should deprive anyone of this.

Ps Statistics states that Adulterers are most often married to an individual who deprives them of sex. Exception limited to male/female promiscuity and or pedophiles

What is your opinion?
Frankly, I don't think religion and sex have much to do with each other. If from a moral standpoint someone wants to argue religious reasons for abstaining, fine... but in general sex/procreation is a normal function of the human body like eating, sleeping, etc.

There is a time and place for sex. Sexual blackmail isn't a good thing. Withholding sex because "it's the right thing to do because you're not married" as opposed to "I would rather not have sex until I am comfortable with sharing my body with you please respect my preference" makes more sense. Sport f*king is no good either. Sex for sport cheapens the value of sex.

Decency comes into play when sport f*king, sexual blackmail and other types of manipulation are used to assert power over your partner. Someone who is decent isn't going to use you for sex or string you along for sex.

Anyone who's got the ideas about sex that you quoted above probably isn't living in the 21st century in the United States. I suppose there are conservative people out there who use the bible to prop up what they perceive to be "the way" for people to conduct their sexual lives. Someone like that strikes me as the sort of person who would withhold sex from their mate if they were married, "no sex on Sunday" for instance.

When you say, "request sex too early in the relationship" are you talking about within the first hours of your first date? Yeah, I think that's early, and qualifies as sport f*king.

If two people are mature adults, and they want to have sex - it's their decision jointly.

If one person doesn't want to have sex, then the other should respect their wishes. If the sex requester wishes to continue the relationship with sex being absent it's their decision, and they shouldn't pressure the other to engage in behavior they don't want to partake in. Chances are that person will seek greener pastures where sex is easier to get, because quite often people who are motivated strongly by sex, when they are matched with someone with a lower sex drive, the person with the lower sex drive will suffer because they'll give in to the person with the stronger sex drive and compromise their integrity in order to "keep" and satisfy the other person and sometimes feel used and/or manipulated.

Humans can discriminate, that's what separates us from the other animals who give into their sexual urges whenever the wind blows. If someone chooses to place a high priority on sex they will, but they should find someone with the same values in order to be happy in a relationship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:38 AM
 
Location: southern california
48,569 posts, read 44,653,204 times
Reputation: 39474
usually somebody in a hurry to close a deal, has not done full disclosure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Incognito
6,987 posts, read 12,472,784 times
Reputation: 5265
If sex is a sin I might just burn in hell right about now!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
11,077 posts, read 9,016,582 times
Reputation: 14110
Sex is the most intimate act you can have with another human being. For myself, it can be the glue that keeps the relationship going, even if it's a tumultous relationship. And, as it's been quoted, sex is the greatest joy available to human beings.

I would not buy a car without test-driving it first. Nor would I buy a house just from looking at it from the outside. We're here on this planet just a very, very short time, why wait months down the road, having missed out on other opportunities, to find out the car has no second gear, or the house is riddled with termites?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 07:07 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
Reputation: 10054
When beginning a relationship, I prefer to wait on the sex. Not for months, but certainly the three date rule is complete nonsense. I want to make sure that I actually like the guy as a person and a friend, develop some romantic feelings towards him, before getting naked with him. I'm not going to rush to get intimate with someone I don't trust yet. And the anticipation makes the first times much much better.

Otherwise, once the sex starts, the crush feelings take over the relationship, and it's difficult to keep a clear head about having commonsense about interacting with the other person. I'd really want to make sure that my deal breaker rules aren't being compromised before getting my heart (and body) involved with him. I don't like getting into a relationship that is eventually going to fail because his spendthrift habits or some other fault is going to eventually annoy me to the point of my having to break up with him. I want to make sure that he doesn't drink too much and that I like his family. I want him to be comfortable with me not wanting to have children and not believing in a god. All those details are very important to me. I don't ever want a quickie affair, I am only interested in entering into a quality long term relationship that makes the both of us very happy to be in. Neither of us should be compromising our ideals while we are together.

I do believe in having sex prior to marriage, prior to getting engaged. I just don't want to rush in a foolhardy way into a serious relationship. And for a woman especially, once everything gets emotional and sex is involved, our better judgments get clouded. So I'm all about going slow in the beginning of all of my relationships.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 07:07 AM
 
Location: The Plains
5,893 posts, read 4,828,522 times
Reputation: 4120
sex may not the most important part of a relationship, but it can be the most important part of your day! you would be suprised to find out what some young kids call "not having sex" Its such a generational thing the way we focus on sex
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 07:09 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,909 times
Reputation: 10
Smile under proper age

full pleasure will reach only when both together involved at suitable age.


Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2009, 07:11 AM
 
362 posts, read 477,416 times
Reputation: 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by npumcrisz View Post
Socioculturally; the myth is that if a person wants sex early or prior to marriage:-
  1. He/ she is not decent. For example, a person (decent) who truly loves you would wait until your terms are met to engage in sex.--[ I beg to differ]
  2. He/ she is in the relationship just for sex; lie.
  3. He/ she is tempting/ testing you. Doing so; to see if you would fall prey to sex advances, fall victim to fornication and other reasons; I reserve my comment(s).
Some persons out "here" see an individual who denies sex as one who would deprive "us" of God's beautiful symbol of love after marriage. The book of Psalms possess the best of the best erotic literature; no person should deprive anyone of this.

Ps Statistics states that Adulterers are most often married to an individual who deprives them of sex. Exception limited to male/female promiscuity and or pedophiles

What is your opinion?

that's why you don't ask, you just take it. Usually women will sleep with you if you're a good kisser. well, atleast that's been my experience, but I"m a pretty boy so it's not that big of a deal. I usually don't push women to sleep with me, but it just happens.

I don't think that someone who asks for sex early is a deviant. In the relationship for sex, yes, but not a deviant. If they act "thirsty" then it's pretty obvious to a woman, they catch more body language than men do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top