Curfews in a marriage (girlfriend, women, single, cheat)
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So these people are out at night without the other so much that this is a problem? Or at least one of them is? I'm sorry, but that just seems sad and wrong to me. It's one thing every now and then to call home and say, "Hon, the poker game is running really late, so don't wait up," but if one or both of them is frequently staying out really late without the other, I think there's something wrong there.
I don't think a healthy couple needs to have a set time to "be back in the house"--just tell the other one when to expect you. Some compromise might be needed, for instance, "Please try to be home by midnight. I have that appointment at 9 a.m., and you don't want to be too tired with the kids in the morning." Or whatever.
that is right. I know my wife will do that with me sometimes, it isn't so much a curfew as it is just making sure i don't get so wrapped up in what i am doing (such as if i go jam with my bud at his house) that i stay later than planned when we plan to leave early to go somewhere, or to an appointment or something.
No I mean like a couple has a mutual agreement that you have to be in at a certain time.
NO
if someone is out late, it is a courtesy to call and let them know so they won't worry
if someone is staying out all night, why would that happen? other than business travel, or job demands? staying with someone who is sick to help out, it could happen then.
What about "I am scared to sleep alone. Please be in bed with me by midnight so I can sleep?" I have heard this for a while. Twice I got this from my wife, when my boys were babies. My oldest nearly died at 16 weeks he caught RSV in a daycare was hospitalized for 9 days in a bubble. So no way I was letting him go back to daycare anywhere. I did the infant all day, work when I could in my office and as soon as he went to sleep I would work until I caught up. With the second child he never went to daycare. She would tell me she can't sleep (at first it was Please be in bed then it was BE in bed by midnight.). Problem was if I didn't work and catch up who is going to pay for her college. She was a student, worked part time.
I can see saying "Babygurl if your going out the girls try to make it in before 1 or 2 so I don't wake up and not get back to sleep before the alarm goes off." But if they are home I think it is a bit controling.
Well bonehead let me ask you a question. Why did you ask her to be in the house by 2. What difference does time really make? Maybe I should rephrase the question, I do apologize for not being clear.
Okay here it goes. Do any married couples have an agreement of when you should be in the house? Example: Me and my wife feel that we should be in the house NLT 2:30.
Well bonehead let me ask you a question. Why did you ask her to be in the house by 2. What difference does time really make? Maybe I should rephrase the question, I do apologize for not being clear.
Okay here it goes. Do any married couples have an agreement of when you should be in the house? Example: Me and my wife feel that we should be in the house NLT 2:30.
NO, most married adults do not live this way - curfews are for teens. I find this whole idea just weird.
NO, most married adults do not live this way - curfews are for teens. I find this whole idea just weird.
I totally agree. I remember one time i went out and had a few drinks with some guys from work, i told my wife so she would know where i was, all she said was "don't stay out too late", no specific time, but we had plans the next day i think. Being told you have to be in the house at a specific time is a curfew.
Like Bernie Mac said once "I wish a mutha&*^% would...."- I wish someone would give me a curfew.
That'll be the day! If my partner goes out with his friends to a bar, I won't be up at the door watching the clock. I would expect that he be home at a respectable hour. If not, I'd expect a phone call just to keep me informed so that I'm not worried. I know what it's like to have my SO leave at 10:30pm then not come home until almost the next afternoon. *eyeroll*
Evenso, I will not give someone a curfew unless they are under the age of 18, and I don't date teenagers.
Question for all the married people. Do you all have curfews? What is considered acceptable times to be in the house? Does it really matter what time your spouse comes in the house?
My personal opinion is that it's largely dependant upon the couple. For me curfew is a way of saying that there is no trust in the relationship. It's like a way of controlling a person. I could be wrong but I would like to hear everyone's opinion.
It totally depends on where a spouse goes. If a spouse is over helping parents or other family members, then it seems coming home at 2 am might be perfectly fine. If it's a night out -- playing cards or whatever especially with same gender friends, 2 am might be okay. If someone routinely strolls in at 4 am -- that would be another story.
Then it wouldn't be so much about having or not having a curfew but if someone is staying out all night or all evening, there might not be much of a marriage.
It totally depends on where a spouse goes. If a spouse is over helping parents or other family members, then it seems coming home at 2 am might be perfectly fine. If it's a night out -- playing cards or whatever especially with same gender friends, 2 am might be okay. If someone routinely strolls in at 4 am -- that would be another story.
Then it wouldn't be so much about having or not having a curfew but if someone is staying out all night or all evening, there might not be much of a marriage.
well, if that's the case, then there is a deeper problem than staying out late all the time
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