Keeping Contact with Old Friends? (wife, married, women, dance)

[rbryant]

I don't know if its a sign of me getting older or what, but I've had this desire to try to get in touch with old buddies. I talked to buddy that I served in the Army with back in 2000-01, but our plans to get together fell apart. For whatever reason, he never called or emailed back. No big loss, I've got a wife,kids, house, and nursing school. So, too much on my plate to get in a twist over an old buddy standing me up. However, I got to thinking...is it common for people to make good friendships for a period of life, then move on and the friendship just disappears? Do we really change that much over the years, or friendship just a temporary thing?

[ChessieMom]

Of course it's not temporary. You've never heard of lifelong friends?
I moved to the area where I am now, over 30 years ago. I definitely have good close friendships that go back 30 years. My oldest friends are really my closest ones.

[Twinkle Toes]

Most of my dance friends I've known since we were in grade school.

[Gaffer]

Two of the most abused words in the English language: Hero and friend, but for this post I'll only talk about friends most often mistaken for only acquantances. for instance you have a list of 'friends' in your profile, people who, in general, you hardly know at all.
A friend to me is someone you know extremely well, will not judge you, is alway there to listen and is always there for you no questions asked and vic versa.
That said I can I have been friends with a couple since the early seventies, a woman I have been friends with for 20 years, another for 35 or so years and several others I was friends with for varying periods of time. Yes friends, in general, do come and go. Often following a change in jobs, change in marital status, move to another area etc. friends often fade away over time.
I have the four good friends mentioned above, 3 despite hundreds of miles apart and consider myself lucky to have that many.

[FlaGrrrl]

Originally Posted by rbryant

I don't know if its a sign of me getting older or what, but I've had this desire to try to get in touch with old buddies. I talked to buddy that I served in the Army with back in 2000-01, but our plans to get together fell apart. For whatever reason, he never called or emailed back. No big loss, I've got a wife,kids, house, and nursing school. So, too much on my plate to get in a twist over an old buddy standing me up. However, I got to thinking...is it common for people to make good friendships for a period of life, then move on and the friendship just disappears? Do we really change that much over the years, or friendship just a temporary thing?

Hey there! I think only you can decide which relationships are worth your effort and which aren't. We've all made connections with people and then let those same people slip out of our lives for whatever reason. If you truly treasure those memories and that person then seems like you should make the effort, right? No brainer.. even if it means you're making more of the effort sometimes than the other person. We all get into our funks and sometimes one of us in the relationship does more work than the other.. no problem. You know, I also served in the Military and had similar experiences with Army buddies.. I've managed to keep in contact with most of the people who were very important to me but I've got this one friend who treasures the relationships he formed during that time.. as much as I do, no doubt.. but puts zero effort into staying connected. Which blows my mind.. I mean how are you going to treasure something like that and then watch it waste away.. but people do it! Again, my advice would be to put in the effort.. if it's that important to you. If it's not.. then don't sweat it.

[Gaffer]

RBryant questions if it's a sign of getting older to "'have a desire to look up old buddies".
We are all getting older from the day we are born, but getting old(?) - - - - is better than the alternative. At 71 I consider myself as approaching getting old. On the other hand I get the impression Bryant is in his late 20s or 30s and a long, long, loooooong way from getting old.
As for the subject, 2 or 3 years ago I started to think about many people I've known, some back to high school or college days. Where are they now, are they alive, what have they done throughout their lives, etc. etc.?
I spent some time e-mailing, writing letters, intellus search, callng various people and finally learned from a previous high school acquantice the person I was looking up married, moved from Massachusetts to LA, divorced and died of cancer before she was 30. - So sad, she was such a wonderful gal. I haven't tried looking up others since, but still have the thought in my mind; still wondering about various others - maybe a sign of my approaching getting old.

[sness88]

I think some friendships are temporary and some are permanent. It depends on location and the laziness of people. I think some people are too lazy to respond nowadays to texts or phone calls. I've had too many people come and go throughout my life and it seems as though it will continue that way. I've only had 1 friend who's remained constant since we were 4 (i'm almost 21).

[Coolhand68]

When we take a trip down sentimental alley, we often tend to remember the good times between friends and the moments that we enjoyed the most. We forget the reasons why we lost touch with them in the first place. Sometimes there's a good reason why we left them behind or vice versa. I have several friends I still remain in touch with on a regular basis from childhood. It's great, because it's like having another set of brothers who have known us all our lives and we've watched one another grow. However, I have some friends who we each swore to stay in touch over the years but haven't. I'm guessing the bond just wasn't all that strong to maintain an ongoing friendship. People come and go from our lives, enjoy the good times and don't dwell too hard on the ones who have drifted.

[mackinac81]

I've always been good at keeping in touch. I still keep in touch with one of my friends from second grade. The way I see it, I didn't invest all this energy in a friendship just to see it peter out once I move away

I think men have an easier time picking up after a long time of not talking. I might not talk to one of my friends for a year--we get busy, school, work, whatever--but when we meet up again it's like we saw each other last week. I've heard that this isn't as common with women.

[rbryant]

Originally Posted by Gaffer

RBryant questions if it's a sign of getting older to "'have a desire to look up old buddies".
We are all getting older from the day we are born, but getting old(?) - - - - is better than the alternative. At 71 I consider myself as approaching getting old. On the other hand I get the impression Bryant is in his late 20s or 30s and a long, long, loooooong way from getting old.
As for the subject, 2 or 3 years ago I started to think about many people I've known, some back to high school or college days. Where are they now, are they alive, what have they done throughout their lives, etc. etc.?
I spent some time e-mailing, writing letters, intellus search, callng various people and finally learned from a previous high school acquantice the person I was looking up married, moved from Massachusetts to LA, divorced and died of cancer before she was 30. - So sad, she was such a wonderful gal. I haven't tried looking up others since, but still have the thought in my mind; still wondering about various others - maybe a sign of my approaching getting old.

Well, you're getting close. I'm 37 to be exact. Maybe "getting older' was a poor way to put it. Perhaps nostalgic would be more appropriate. It just seems like yesterday that I was hanging out with my old friend and I notice its been seven or eight years now. I'm continually amazed at how time passes by, especially when you have a career, children, home,etc.