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My last boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend very early on.. I wasn't that interested at first (it's a long story of why I was even dating him) so I declined. I didn't think that I'd ever want to be his girlfriend.. I waited to have sex with him until I had a strong desire to do so which was quite a while. After we'd already been sleeping together for like a month is when I decided that I did want to give a relationship a shot.. I think that a lot of guys know when they meet someone that they could have a LTR with whether or not sex is involved quickly. And on the flip side, him and I waited to have sex and the relationship still didn't last very long!
Red How wonderful for her! She feels she's done it right and now needs to get you on board. What is her story anyway? Did she keep him on a string for 6 months? Wait until the wedding night? Did she marry the first guy, or go through many suiters? Yeah, she's happily married to a great guy that she met online. But I doubt she waited 6 months to have sex; I'll have to ask her that when I talk to her next. I don't think she's read the book she sent me. She heard the therapist talk on the radio and liked what he had to say. So I don't know if she's aware of how long this guy tells women to keep a guy and herself waiting for intimacy.
Blue So a bunch of guys who think women are skanks who "give it up too early" wrote books to profit off said skanks? Doctor Phil for instance wrote books about successful marriage, and I understand he's in one of those marriages where they're in it because if he divorces it'll invalidate his empire, not out of any great love for his wife. Lol at this comment. There are some parts of this book that I think are very insightful and right on, but then there are a few concepts that make me skeptical (like the sex issue).
Purple I guess I'm in luck then because I'm currently seeing a gal I've known for over a year and came to care about wayyyy before we started dating, having sex. Congrats on finding someone special.
I had sex with my ex wife the very first night we met...was married to her for 18 years.
...Now according to the "experts", that's probably why she's your ex--you lost interest (after 18 years, lol) because you got what you wanted too easily.
My track record with women isn't exactly the best
I have different standards than most guys and I get bored very quickly with women who are dumb or overly materialistic, as a result i get bored with most women quickly and all they really have to offer is sex
Anyway about 2 months ago my friend started dating one of his friends he has known for 15 years.One night he was going out with her, but since his gf was supposed to hang out with one of her friends that night he asked him to bring a friend along. It was just supposed to be a harmless dinner, it was in no way a date.
Within about an hour i was blown away at how well rounded, intelligent and down to earth she was.this dinner turned into about an 8 hour night out between the resteraunt and local bar
My friend even commented to his gf he had never seen me like this before with anyone
Long story short we did have sex that night- but the next day my reaction wasnt oh good i got laid it was I met an awesome woman and cant wait to see her again
Ive NEVER been a guy who wants to see a girl more than twice a week, never was a cuddler or anything like that
Like i said its been a little less than 2 months and ive probably spent about 35 days/nights with her and that was with me being away for a week early on, love cuddling with her, just feeling her their etc
I also found out from her friend that basically shes been single for a while, guys have treated her like crap and she quickly cuts them loose
She also told me that she hadnt been with anyone sexually in over a year- guess i cant be 100% sure but this girl has known me for a while and really has no reason to lie to me
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We havent had one fight at all (closest would be she loves obama while his policies literly make me physcially ill, i love ron paul she thinks hes a psyco so we just leave the political stuff alone) and i love how i feel when im around her
Really the only thing that is even a slight problem is shes a teacher and is always up early, i have since gotten on her shcedule while im used to waking up around noon-im really looking foward to when shes off in the summer
Thanks for that insight and congrats on your relationship. It sounds like you found someone you really want to be with since you've even adjusted to her schedule and became a "cuddler".
I think it depends a lot on the people involved, their values and so on.
Some might lose interest in someone who is too easy a conquest or who has slept around a lot or who falls into bed very quickly because that indicates they've fallen in bed with many before. But - then others will quickly lose interest if they don't have the physical part right off. Some prefer easy, some prefer those who wait to make sure it's a solid relationship and are very exclusive.
The relationship is guaranteed to fail if anyone views it as a "conquest".
And waiting to have sex until you have a "solid relationship" or "exclusivity" isn't a guarantee the relationship will remain solid.
Having sex too soon is when you have sex with someone who doesn't really know you. All they know is that you have attractive body parts. It's not the amount of time spent dating, it's the amount of time spent actually talking and getting to know each other. I couldn't put an arbitrary time limit on it - three dates, ten dates, six months, whatever... But I want to be a person, not just a body.
The relationship is guaranteed to fail if anyone views it as a "conquest".
And waiting to have sex until you have a "solid relationship" or "exclusivity" isn't a guarantee the relationship will remain solid.
That's why it depends a lot on the people involved. There's no guarantee a relationship will last forever no matter what someone believes or does.
Some people might fall into bed after the first hello and find they have enough in common to have a long relationship. Others can make sure they have a lot of common ground, marry, raise a family and 20 years later split for whatever reason.
I believe that those people who immediately say yes to sex with everyone they date are less likely to have a lasting relationship but there are plenty of exceptions. Maybe a lot depends on the motives for having sex quickly.
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