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Old 03-19-2009, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Nova, D.C.,
1,220 posts, read 3,106,306 times
Reputation: 729

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I have to fly home for a few days and I have been away for a year and three months. I am having concerns that I may run into my ex or that I will get the urge to contact him, because of remembering some of the good times we did have. The area I am going to is relatively small.
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Old 03-19-2009, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 9,918,135 times
Reputation: 9407
Do not contact him! No matter how many good times you had - abuse is not something you should forgive or forget. You'd be setting yourself up for additional pain and suffering. If you can, find a trusted friend or relative to hang out with in during your visit, so you won't be alone. You may need the support. Best wishes.
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Old 03-19-2009, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,507 posts, read 16,269,356 times
Reputation: 9264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artsywoman View Post
I have to fly home for a few days and I have been away for a year and three months. I am having concerns that I may run into my ex or that I will get the urge to contact him....
I knew what I was going to say til I got to the bolded part. Best of luck to you.
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Old 03-19-2009, 05:37 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,359 posts, read 12,805,270 times
Reputation: 8304
Just say no.
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Old 03-19-2009, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,265 posts, read 80,591,612 times
Reputation: 39460
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artsywoman View Post
I have to fly home for a few days and I have been away for a year and three months. I am having concerns that I may run into my ex or that I will get the urge to contact him, because of remembering some of the good times we did have. The area I am going to is relatively small.
If he abused you, doesn't that kind of wipe away any good memories there might have ever been? I think it would for me...
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Old 03-19-2009, 06:10 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
1,692 posts, read 3,158,515 times
Reputation: 4092
If you still have the urge to talk to him then you haven't learned your lesson yet. I hate to sound mean but it is the way I feel.
In another thread about abuse I stated my sister is paraplegic due to her ex-husband. She can't feel thing one from waist down. Everytime you get the urge to see him or talk to him remember this rule... no matter how he has changed to the rest of the world the truth is YOU will ALWAYS be his punching bag. My sister thought her husband had changed too and went back/let him back in, 3 back surgeries to fix her spine and she lives her life on narcotics for the pain and she still hurts.
don't think it won't happen to you because you changed and he might have changed.... it rarely works out that way. Normally it gets much worse the second time around.
Food for thought.
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Old 03-19-2009, 06:49 PM
 
13,773 posts, read 31,150,408 times
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Sit down, be honest and make a list the good and the bad. Too many times we do tend to remember just the good times or down play the bad times. The list will remind you of why you left.

He hasn't changed and if you contact him he will think you really didn't mind being a punching bag. If he hit you once, he will hit you again.
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Old 03-19-2009, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
403 posts, read 1,297,831 times
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You are better than that. Don't go there.
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Old 03-19-2009, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,562 posts, read 23,709,659 times
Reputation: 6282
He's not worthy of your consideration for even a moment as he lost that right the first time he lashed out at you. Why let a pattern begin anew when you have broken with the past and his influence? There are too many more positive people in your life, I'm sure, for whom you can have feelings that are worthy of your time.
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Old 03-19-2009, 08:32 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 22,014,231 times
Reputation: 7358
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
Sit down, be honest and make a list the good and the bad. Too many times we do tend to remember just the good times or down play the bad times. The list will remind you of why you left.

He hasn't changed and if you contact him he will think you really didn't mind being a punching bag. If he hit you once, he will hit you again.
And keep the list with her in case she runs into him inadvertently...
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