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Old 03-20-2009, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,226 posts, read 1,801,934 times
Reputation: 660
Default FWB? How long can you ladies really keep it just friends?

I see all these posts referring to FWB. I have never known a woman that could sleep with someone on a regular basis and keep it just friends. A few of my platonic female friends have told me about different arrangements they have tried in the past. These are very successful women who more than anything are wanting to avoid the dating scene due to lack of time. Neither one wants a family or kids.

One is 37 (lets call her Sales Goddess) and confesses to trying a FWB 3 times and swears every time she ended up hurt in the end after falling for the guy. She also admits he never did anything to lead her on.

The other is 24 (hmm lets call her Too Sexy). Too Sexy has this attitude that she will never consider a LTR with a guy that is not as attractive as she is. Her choices are very limitted and has admitted to trying the FWB a few times but broke it off when she found herself feeling jealous of her FWB's date on their scheduled hook up night.

If this always ends up like this.... Why do you ladies keep trying it?
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:42 AM
 
Location: CT, NY & HI
747 posts, read 568,259 times
Reputation: 722
Women are indoctrinated by dominant conservative society to believe that they should only have sex with someone they have emotional feelings for, regardless of sexual attraction. Women also strive to be socially accepted. The result is that when a woman has sex with a man based on physical attraction, they afterwards feel guilty and not accepted; like they've done something "wrong."

Now, if it happens once, they'll deem it a mistake. But if the sex was really good, they'll go back. However, the guilt remains. Instead of looking at the matter abstractly and telling society to "stick it," they choose to justify it by mistaking cause for effect. Their twisted reasoning becomes: I had sex with this man, therefore I have an emotional attachment to him. As the good sex continues, they start to actually believe in their own false reality, motivated by their desire to both have sex AND be socially accepted. So they become attached, and thus the FWB is ruined.

Think about it. When women get together, they love to share and brag about what their boyfriends do for them. A girl in an FWB/casual relationship can't participate in this, and thus realizes that she's missing out, despite that she might be sexually satisfied.

The women who can successfully pull off the FWB are those who are fervently confident in their decisions regarding sexual matters and who are not influenced by society or their peers. It's rare, but it can happen, though it's still usually relatively short term.
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:47 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,789,717 times
Reputation: 7871
I've had two FWBs. They worked out fine and they were/are very good friends. But I know this is not the norm. Women are emotional creatures. I used to be one before I became a cyborg.
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,915 posts, read 10,712,227 times
Reputation: 10913
How long can women keep a FWB just friends? I can only speak for myself, 2 yrs.

Quote:
If this always ends up like this.... Why do you ladies keep trying it?
It dosent always end in hurt feelings. I've only done it during times I couldnt or was not ready for a real gf/bf relationship.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:21 PM
 
Location: USA
2,130 posts, read 1,452,917 times
Reputation: 3503
I guess I'm the exception to the rule. I have never gotten emotionally attached to any FWB's. Maybe it is because I get my emotional needs met by my husband. But, yes, I agree, most women are very weak-minded and emotionally vulnerable.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:22 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
969 posts, read 1,562,217 times
Reputation: 498
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I've had two FWBs. They worked out fine and they were/are very good friends. But I know this is not the norm. Women are emotional creatures. I used to be one before I became a cyborg.
sweet

I'm a Replicant.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:26 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 2,950,129 times
Reputation: 1957
The problem is usually it goes like this...

"I'm not looking for a relationship or anything right now"

"Me either! I just want some stress relief!

"Cool!"

So with no pressure our couple hook up.

"Wow that was great!"

"It was, and we can just be friends, no drama, no strings, this could be the best relationship I've ever had! (and then it starts) hey what are you doing tomorrow?

"nothing, wanna get together?"

"Read my mind FWB!"

Three weeks later they are arguing because neither realized that in the last 21 days they spent 14 of them together, a personal record for each, and one "caught feelings" and the other was just into the fun stressfreeness of it all.

People lie, especially to themselves!
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,257 posts, read 10,880,617 times
Reputation: 9723
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crustedfilth View Post
sweet

I'm a Replicant.
Damned Replicants!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-20-2009, 01:21 PM
 
3,843 posts, read 8,025,407 times
Reputation: 2424
6 months - 1 year seems like it for me.

I think it is in that range because that seems like a very good time frame to get to know someone. So after that time frame, they start making demands, "so, what am I to you?" Also if you are dating in the younger crowd (18-25) they aren't actively looking for marriage/kids. It isn't until their looks start to fade that they get the hint, "I better get settled down soon before I get any uglier." Of course, once they start making demands then it is time to put your foot down. NO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS.
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Old 03-20-2009, 01:31 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
1,692 posts, read 2,309,273 times
Reputation: 4045
I'll admit I have had a FWB in my life. not at the same time. One was a very special friend, still love him haven't seen him in years, don't know if he is alive. Anyways... we were never dating or a couple but there was something about our relationship/friendship that it all just see right. Later on he got married so it all stopped but it wasn't about sex, it was about a special closeness in our friendship. Will never have that ever again. Till the day I die he will always be a very special friend and I know if and when I see him again it would be like ole times but with older bodies.
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