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How about instead of expecting him to stay home with you, plan something outside of the house for you to do together. "Honey, there's a movie I really want to see. You wanna go with me on Saturday afternoon?" Do you live in the city? Suggest taking a day trip out to a little town. Vice versa if you live in a little town; go to the city! Maybe it's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you, but that he doesn't want to spend the entire weekend on your couch at home.
Last edited by allio27; 03-22-2009 at 01:12 PM..
Reason: I forgot half of my sentence
I never want to spend the week-end at home either but I do want however to spend it outside of the house WITH my fiance.
If he literally spends most week-ends away from home then I think you have a problem. I would speak to him about it without nagging and maybe suggest a variety of activities he might be interested in sharing with you. Be honest, and see what he says.
I can't help feeling that a husband ought to want to spend most of his time, especially precious week-ends with his wife. It doesn't mean he doesn't have any time for other friends but you should still come first.
Have you got any common friends ? Maybe you could spend some sociable time with other couples as well ? In the end though he should love to spend time with you. Isn't that what relationships are about ?
Yes. But it ABSOLUTELY does not mean that he should give up his friends on her demand. She doesn't own him and he needs more people than just her in his life.
Hmmm... I think this comment is a bit harsh, considering they are married.
I think if he enjoys going out with his friends, then he should include his wife, sometimes. Not just go off and leave her home alone every weekend, while he goes out, and comes home when he feels like it.
What kind of marriage is that?
OK. If he is MARRIED to you and he is off weekends, it says something that he spends it away from you. The point is that you should'nt HAVE TO ask him to spend some weekend time with you. Hes been away from you all week and if he doesn't want to on his own thats a problem. Moreover, if his friends are single thats an even bigger problem. Some will try to tell you different but DON"T LISTEN. A married man should not have a group of single men for friends for all of the obvious reasons. Likewise for women. Yes you should mention it and just see. If it persists, just start not being home when he gets there. Men can easily start to take you for granted when you are there everytime they open the door. It becomes, I can hang with Lisa anytime she'll be around. Make him pursue you a little. Whatever you did to get him is what you need to do to keep him.
Hmmm... I think this comment is a bit harsh, considering they are married.
I think if he enjoys going out with his friends, then he should include his wife, sometimes. Not just go off and leave her home alone every weekend, while he goes out, and comes home when he feels like it.
What kind of marriage is that?
You misinterpreted my comment. I specifically said (maybe in a different post) that he needed to spend a lot more time with her.
I simply got the feeling from her posts that she didn't want him to have friends at all or spend any time with them and that is why I thought she was too controlling.
"Sometimes" is the key in your post that I agree with 100%. There has to be a balance....both ways.
Last edited by afoigrokerkok; 03-22-2009 at 01:49 PM..
You misinterpreted my comment. I specifically said (maybe in a different post) that he needed to spend a lot more time with her.
I simply got the feeling from her posts that she didn't want him to have friends at all or spend any time with them and that is why I thought she was too controlling.
Thats funny, because I didn`t get that feeling at all from her posts.
Isn't your spouse supposed to be your best friend? Not your only friend, but your best friend?
I can't think of anybody I'd rather spend the weekend with than my hubby, and I'm sure he'd say the same about me. We do have other friends, but they're secondary in our lives. Our weekends are reserved for each other.
There's absolutely no reason people in marriages/relationships shouldn't split their weekend time between family and/or spouse and friends, or combine all of those things together for recreation.
Why don't you and your spouse go out and do things together and with friends on the weekends? And, I definitely think that there is a balance to be attained between staying in and going out.
If I had a spouse who regularly did his own thing on the weekend and seemed not to want to spend any leisure time with me, ever (whether that is going in or staying out, that'd be a wakeup call alerting me to serious problems, myself. If you don't EVER want to spend leisure time with the person you're involved with, there's really no reason to continue the relationship, IMO. Being a partner means spending time together. Not ALL the time, but absolutely not spending all the time apart, pursuing separate interests, either, by any means.
Thats funny, because I didn`t get that feeling at all from her posts.
"cuz i guess i have this mentality that weekends are meant for family, and such is married life!"
That indicated to me that she feels he should NEVER be allowed to see his friends on the weekend.
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I think this comment is a bit harsh, considering they are married. 
