Free to a good home.... (boyfriend, ladies, separate, personality)

[Boneheaded]

Speaking of words getting ignored. Truth hurts eh Ivory. Nothing to say when truth is laid on the table? Yes you do hold some responsibility for your problems. Damn you are the one always saying it takes two and all this and that. Does this only apply to every other person on the planet and not you? Why not come on the thread and work out whatever it was that lead to the divorce instead of trying to put me down for working through MY issues. I only know the you that is presented here and time after time you have selectively chosen what to acknowledge and what to attack. Being that I cheated on my wife it is sound psychology to assume you are projecting your crap onto my relationship. Go get help. I did. I really do feel sorry for this guy if he is trying everyday to make it work and you are repaying it by selectively choosing what is said or done and what it means.

[Boneheaded]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

The more I talk about it here, the more I realize I can't move past this. Our marriage was destroyed when he chose her. I should never have agreed to try again. There was nothing left to save.

He chose her after you filed for divorce! Still have not heard why he moved out in the first place.... can you accept your flaws?

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

Your first post was all about how great you are.

My experience is people who have to tell you how great they are, usually aren't. They're just trying to convince themselves.

And there's no mistaking you for my husband. He doesn't blow his own horn. He won't tell you what a catch he is. He'll tell you he nearly destroyed our marriage. Actually, did destroy it, he just doesn't realize it yet.

No, I don't accept responsibility for my failing marriage. I'm not the one who cheated. The issue in my marriage is trust. I've come to the conclusion that trust is gone forever. I can't trust that he won't just walk out and have another affair. What's to stop him? He did it once and the first time is the hard time.

The issues in my marriage stem from his cheating and he did that all by himself. Once trust is gone, you really have nothing left. I should have realized that before I agreed to a reconciliation. You can't fix this. It's too broken.

Here we go again

Ivory, file for divorce already - it's OBVIOUS you will continue to live in your "Ivory" tower and never accept any personal responsibility for what went wrong in your marriage - your poor husband just cannot win at this point. Please put him out of your misery.

[Boneheaded]

OMG Ivory you are so frustrating! Why did he move out in the first place? Could it have been because you relentlessly attack without accepting any personal blame. Your own line of people who say how great they are..... Hmm I have yet to hear you accept any blame for your relationship!

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Here we go again

Ivory, file for divorce already - it's OBVIOUS you will continue to live in your "Ivory" tower and never accept any personal responsibility for what went wrong in your marriage - your poor husband just cannot win at this point. Please put him out of your misery.

You'll have to tell me how I made him cheat. Sorry, I wasn't even there. In fact, I wasn't even on his mind, was I?

There's no winning here. Once trust is gone, it's gone. There's just no way to get it back.

I'm still trying to figure out what horrible thing you and bonehead think I did to deserve this. Not even our marriage counselor blames me yet you two do and you don't even know me.

[MaryBeth2]

Originally Posted by Boneheaded

OMG Ivory you are so frustrating! Why did he move out in the first place? Could it have been because you relentlessly attack without accepting any personal blame. Your own line of people who say how great they are..... Hmm I have yet to hear you accept any blame for your relationship!

Boneheaded, I thought this was your thread asking for support??

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by Boneheaded

OMG Ivory you are so frustrating! Why did he move out in the first place? Could it have been because you relentlessly attack without accepting any personal blame. Your own line of people who say how great they are..... Hmm I have yet to hear you accept any blame for your relationship!

No, that's why he came back.

No I don't accept blame for him cheating. I didn't break my vows. He broke them. And I didn't make him leave. He chose to. No one makes anyone else do anything. The devil made me do it doesn't work. We choose our own actions in life.

BTW, HE doesn't blame me. I can't figure out why you do. I think you're projecting your beliefs about your wife causing your affair onto us.

At least I know he'll be better off post divorce. What I can't figure out is if I'm so awful, why'd he come back? Never mind, I know why. He was about to lose his kids in a custody battle. Sad that that's the only reason he'd come back. But if I'm that awful, I guess that must be it.

[Boneheaded]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

You'll have to tell me how I made him cheat. Sorry, I wasn't even there. In fact, I wasn't even on his mind, was I?

There's no winning here. Once trust is gone, it's gone. There's just no way to get it back.

I'm still trying to figure out what horrible thing you and bonehead think I did to deserve this. Not even our marriage counselor blames me yet you two do and you don't even know me.

IVORY.

#1 WHY DID HE MOVE OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

#2 HE WAS LEGALLY SEPARATED FROM YOU. THE DIVORCE YOU FILED!

#3 WHEN DID MOVING ON TOO SOON BECOME CHEATING?

#4 I KNOW HOW YOU CHOOSE TO COMMUNICATE AND STAND BY THE STATEMENT..."IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT WORK AND ONE TO RUIN IT!"


Are you really going to say that the 8 years of crap she contributed mean nothing? Wow I could have sworn you said you had a good job and earned a good living. I am in total shock as to how this is all possible when you obviously refuse to take responsibility for your actions.

[Boneheaded]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

You'll have to tell me how I made him cheat. Sorry, I wasn't even there. In fact, I wasn't even on his mind, was I?

There's no winning here. Once trust is gone, it's gone. There's just no way to get it back.

I'm still trying to figure out what horrible thing you and bonehead think I did to deserve this. Not even our marriage counselor blames me yet you two do and you don't even know me.

No one here but you knows why he moved out in the first place. Out of 2000 post not one say what you did wrong in the relationship.

Are we to believe you were an angel for the entire marriage and he just left you hanging and then moved on far too fast just to come back to you and work his @ss off everyday to make you see he loves you?

I know I am condensing it a bit here but this is all taken from YOUR posts!

Really? Can you look at truth and call it truth or are we all still ignoring the pink elephant in the room?

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by Boneheaded

IVORY.

#1 WHY DID HE MOVE OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

#2 HE WAS LEGALLY SEPARATED FROM YOU. THE DIVORCE YOU FILED!

#3 WHEN DID MOVING ON TOO SOON BECOME CHEATING?

#4 I KNOW HOW YOU CHOOSE TO COMMUNICATE AND STAND BY THE STATEMENT..."IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT WORK AND ONE TO RUIN IT!"


Are you really going to say that the 8 years of crap she contributed mean nothing? Wow I could have sworn you said you had a good job and earned a good living. I am in total shock as to how this is all possible when you obviously refuse to take responsibility for your actions.

Because he wanted to.

Yeah, we were separated, so?

It's cheating if you haven't ended your relationship. Moving on that soon shows that, to him, I'm easily replacable. Which is the problem. I know I don't matter. Actions speak louder than words. I don't want to be in a relationship where I don't matter and I don't matter in this one. Never did. Time to accept that.

Yup, it takes one to ruin it. Cheating manages that very well.

You and Mountain are right, divorce is the answer. He doesn't need a wife who is so awful she makes him cheat and I don't need a husband who thinks I'm so awful he cheats.