Changing your last name (guy, children, divorced, problems) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 6 - City-Data Forum

plaidmom · 03-26-2009, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

Oh, and don't even get me started on the toilet paper - over or under!!!

Over.

Twinkle Toes · 03-26-2009, 05:01 PM

Over.

DFWgal · 03-26-2009, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

Oh, and don't even get me started on the toilet paper - over or under!!!

overrrr!

Sam82 · 03-26-2009, 05:29 PM

I never said that BF and I fight a lot. I said that this is one issue that we can't seem to agree on. We actually communicate pretty well. He and I have agreed to talk about it later. We will come to an agreement eventually.

Twinkle Toes · 03-26-2009, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam82

I never said that BF and I fight a lot. I said that this is one issue that we can't seem to agree on. We actually communicate pretty well. He and I have agreed to talk about it later. We will come to an agreement eventually.

Hopefully "eventually" means before the wedding!

DFWgal · 03-26-2009, 05:56 PM

you don't need to fight to (strongly) disagree anyway.

maddog1 · 03-26-2009, 11:26 PM

I did not take my husband's last name.

cremebrulee · 03-27-2009, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam82

lol. I'm knocking on 30's door. So, I don't think that qualifies me as young. I guess I meant to ask if I was being stubborn for no reason.

BF and I talked about it breifly, he is traditional and feels that taking his name is a sign of respect. I don't think it is a big deal and I like my name. Both of my diplomas have my last name on them.

When you 60, being in your 30's is definately young.

Here again is a perfect example of how you think and feel and what you were raised to believe. To me, it's a small thing and not even worth arguing over...or worrying about...you love the guy, take his name, period. In my day, it was automatic to take the man's name???? I don't understand what the big deal is? And I can understand his point of view, b/c he was raised like that...what bother's me, is the fact that your both being very stubborn about it...which to me raises a flag and makes me ponder what else will crop up that you both didn't take the time to explore each other and make certain you are both mentally and emotionally compatible. We all are raised with different cultures, beliefs and feelings about things, political, spiritual, our morals and values, which can cause huge problems in a marriage.

Think about this? I'm serious...some things are just not worth arguing about...and yet, I'm feeling you both should take more time to get to know one another. Maybe even live together first.

Mooseketeer · 03-27-2009, 06:59 AM

There is no reason to change your name unless you want to. Surely the decision is yours to make as a woman.
I am getting married this Fall and I will either take his name or hyphenate both ours. I haven't decided yet but it is up to me.

It does seems a bit archaic to automatically expect a woman to change her name. I don't see why either names can't be used or combined . My name means little to me but I know it does to other people and I fully respect that.

I don't see why your husband to be would EXPECT you to change names, that seems a little bit controlling and "macho" .

I would tell him exactly how you feel and if he loves you he should understand. If he doesn't understand then I would say you might have a deeper problem regarding respect towards you.

The days when you belonged to a man by taking his name are long gone....

moonshadow · 03-27-2009, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mooseketeer

..The days when you belonged to a man by taking his name are long gone....

It was a part of the "chattels" business I think, yes?

You had your father's surname while you belonged to him and then it changed to your husband's on payment of your dowry and you becoming your husband's chattel.

Given that women aren't chattels anymore and have their own working life, bank accounts, mortgages, insurance etc to me in this day and age it's just a huge pain in the butt to have to change all that paperwork AND learn a new signature if you don't have to. And yeah, I'm not really interested in giving up my surname because there's not that many of us left, as I mentioned earlier in the thread.

Nope, I still haven't heard anything that would convince me to change my surname.